chaos

Bowen Mccoy

2011-12-19T14:29:00.000-08:00

Image source- Lelia(click on the caption to check artist's work)

On a hill so high
Bowen Mccoy stood as small as a fly

Plight of a sadhu or fight of a man
Life of a being or death of his mind

Years of planning and days of rigor
Made him ready with power and vigor

Should I carry him down
and let the sadhu take my crown
OR
Should I reach the top
and 'maybe' leaving sadhu's life to a stop

I maybe wrong or maybe I am wrong
My heart will frown or my mind gets strong

"I think"
I will follow my aim
by climbing the peak
I will follow my heart
by leaving him with options not so bleak

I reach the top and scale the spot
but conscience asks me is the sadhu alright

On a hill so high
Bowen Mccoy stood as small as a fly

------------------------------------------------
For insights on this poem it is highly recommended to go through
The parable of the sadhu(source-www.media.miamiherald.com)

It talks about the dilemma of Bowen Mccoy who while scaling the peak of a hill top comes across an ailing almost dead sadhu. The question that looms in front of him is to whether carry the sadhu back to the base camp or continue with his journey.Bowen leaves the sadhu with another group of trekkers to move forward.But the question keeps on haunting him. A management question torn between ethics and goals.
And more so what we, I as human being constantly face, the battle of the heart and mind.

~Harsha

Arjuna's penance

2011-11-09T02:06:00.000-08:00

Bima_Melawan_Arjuna_by_transbonja

Was standing there,in the midst of Mahabalipuram.
Had went in search for a happy lunch,a sudden hitch to settle my poor enunciated emancipated body.

And there in all its glory,two words were all I could see.

"Arjuna's penance."
or was it - Random shit.

Suddenly, images came to me when after one of his battles Arjuna would have come and think.
After even talking to Krishna,even after agreement that Kauravas were sinners and he had to behead them,even after that he would come back and talk to himself.Say sorry to himself for killing his brothers.
After mustering the courage,entering Yudhisthara's bedroom to choose his karma over the respect of his brother and brother's wife(at that time),even after choosing what is right,he would come back and think in his penance.

A figure so big as Arjuna himself too had his penance,his moments of glory,his tears of remorse.

And I me myself,all 3 of us still unaware of weaknesses.
Still, very much involved in life's glory but never ever retrospecting what went wrong always.
Why the same mistake's have been killing me since ages.
The recipe of success which I drank once has become elusive.

Need to slow down a bit.I know I can't slowdown this world.
It would be a rat race.
Maybe I better slow down to understand myself.
Anyways this race is not about others,the world but for me.

As a friend of mine,Samir and maybe his friend has rightly said-
"the trouble in the rat race is dat.. even if u win.. ur still a rat..."

This week's 3ww being hitch,drank,muster

Between I just crossed my 100 posts(This is 101th post : )
~Harsha

moment of truth

2011-10-14T07:50:00.000-07:00

Image Courtsey-The_Rooftop_Confrontation_by_Zinfer

Do you really know how it feels all the time.
Why am I so much at odds with myself. I know the truth that others don't know...about me.

I am a big time coward.

It won't be even noticed by others,I either play this game with extreme perfection or my so called luck has been so exorbitantly placed that the slickness makes people believe that I am a confidence powerhouse.But even then I should get caught.It is difficult to be admired at times.
Sometimes I believe the sooner the better.
The way I operate is nothing but my self handicap mechanism.
I talk a lot about new opportunities, taking part in initiatives,portraying myself,doing discussions but just when the point comes I think I turn cold.
Cold like a frozen fish,not stale but even then lifeless.
After that whatever I do, dubiously push me into havens I don't want to tread.
Piece by piece I peel myself but still no one sees it.

Till when is the question.
Bigger questions still stand.Some of them are sad revelations.There was a time when I had the gift of gab driven by a strong persuasive force.Those were the times when I could make you agree on anything with my powerful points.Of late the debater in me has taken a run for his life.I now start but the moment point trickle I take a stand.

The stand now being- not to think neither to argue.
I will take everything you give.Now I don't debate.Only the gift of gab remains.
Aimless,directionless,speechless.

It is as if these thoughts have no base.There is no thought process to follow.

This whole introspection was there always but it has been staring at my face since yesterday.
Yesterday I met Samir after ages.Samir my would be co author if ever we write something.

We both were discussing and shooting down ideas for a book which someday we would produce.I was explaining him why certain things won't work compared to the different genres present.

He told me one thing-That I (Harsha) was a guy who gets easily influenced by others always.

The discussion is still there but this thought kept on lingering.
I have been looking back on these issue since then again and again.
Questions are hard to answer.It actually matters from which side of the table I am looking at.

But,then the view remains the same.

This week's 3ww being admire,follow,piece
~Harsha

the thin line

2011-10-02T10:55:00.000-07:00

Image credit:Mindsurfing on a thin line... by ~dominododo

Have I forgotten the thin line.
The thin line's flailing omnipresence,
The thin line's meteoric rise,
The thin line's benign malice,
How can I ignore the conquest i had over that thin line.

Before we all slumber out over this issue I believe it is an important to reveal what "the thin line"is .

I call the thin line as the transition line.The border that contains borders.
It is not too big for anything neither too small.

Sounds melancholic yet pensive.

Let me put it this way. Eons ago I realized one thing.
It is always not needed to pretend.
It is always not needed to press your self for things you want to morph into.
It is all in the mind and once you achieve that supreme mind morph things would be easy.

Have you ever tried swimming.
How insanely difficult it has been.I for one never understood the way it worked.
Keep your head over the water, take a deep breath, move your hands in unison with your body.
By the time it ended my whole body just pained,until one day when I was just drifting with the flow.

No efforts needed, no muscle twitched all just plain pleasure.
That was exactly the day when I crossed the thin line.

After many days this thin line surfaced again just because I was looking at the pics of some healthy guy,healthier and at par with me.
There was no struggle to conceal the plumpness, no pain,no disdain just pure acceptance and I believe now he was looking at his best.The best he could have looked in ages.
The best he could ever give.

Why,only because he was not struggling anymore.
He was not gnawing himself anymore,it was like as if he was swimming without the effort to swim.

And one day when we all realize the thin line and work in ways such that the thin line doesn't matter to us,the day when pretense is being knocked by omnipresence.
That day I promise the deliveries would be smooth,you yourself would be less hostile to your OWN self.
And that day whatever steps we take towards achieving that perfection,maybe that desired body,that coveted job,that deep profile anything would be possible.

~Harsha

Investment analysis-A panacea to my woes

2011-09-09T17:12:00.000-07:00

Long nights make me happy.
Shorter days make me even more happier.
But today's day had been long,maybe too long.
I just remembered that again cause I saw Anirudh deeply camped in Pratik's room and studying, also for a CFA course at this time of the long night.Pratik was shamelessly copying the eternal QM presentation or washe doing.Well,I found it better not to question them and left back for my room.

Yes,the day was long.
It could have reasoned and waned out like any other small day but then there was THE investment class.
Extremely thought provoking,grossly enriching........should have been the words I yearn to attach with this class.
Well, without doubts it surely was considering the extra miles the prof has been walking,waking and coaxing us to move out or move in.Actually,I don't really remember now after his numerous -"You not interested,pre reads exist,go wash your face" lines.
One thing that happened good was the social networking I did.It has really been years after I really messaged someone.And when I realised this in the midst of the class, I also realised that the whole list in my phone's contacts has never been touched since I have joined this MBA class.It is only my girlfriend and me who exchange messages.
So,with this newly found renaissance I set on a mission.
A mission to send personalised messages to all of them.During the process I also realised that many numbers had become extinct now and many of my friends would have been feeling as if their prehistoric friend has finally arisen to text them.
Oh,yes and the class was still going.Infact he is one of the best profs I would come across.
Still I managed this because 3 terms teach you how to text like hell and at the same time maintain einstein's unflinching interested expression.

After finishing major texting I realised that there was still time left.The class had not devoured the stipulated 3 hour 15 minutes assigned to it.
I once again stood like the mindless numb staring at people asking brilliant questions and the prof entertaining with the most stimulating insights which later zombified into breath taking(pun intended) discussions.
Somebody not agreeing at all.Of late I have been seeing in all choice based questions in a show of hands a clear demarcation of yes and no.2 for yes,7 for no and the remaining 130 poor creatures who could not decide what conspiracy the world is upto and hence not able to raise hands in either of the choices.
But the flavour of the season had been-None of the above which explained why without knowing a single word ,sometimes I reigned supreme,in my eyes atleast.
Today was no different.
Then don't know why,looking at the enthusiasm I felt bad,bad at me wasting myself.
Straddled in one of the most prestigious and costliest courses India could give and still wasting my time in mindless messaging.
What would be my upgraded version when I leave this place after one year.
I clearly was not studying but also not feeling bad,infact not feeling anything regarding this.
Might be because some people have put in my mind that all this would never be asked,some have told that placements don't even ask for your marks,some have driven down the fact that whatever you do in your life you would only get an IT job.
And hence no studies.
But then this has happened earlier.
Before my CAT days,I had stopped believing that I could do something,that time the reasons were different in themselves but still the same as of now.
It din't take me much time that the competition giving cat had either been from the best schools,best engineering colleges,were into jobs or had magnificent extra currics which meant state level wins.
I was in a school which itself was decent in the city but my marks discounted me from any merit I could associate with that association.Infact I wonder whether the school has blacklisted me from their alumni list after the dizzying bottoms I had brought their disciplined academic records to by my on the border marks in Phy Chem and maths.
College was so reputed that even the grocery store owner next to our college would never know about it.
Job-I was unaware of such terms.
But I hoped to qualify directly into IIMs.
With much hope I cracked the cat my first attempt with a marvelous score.
Actually it took me few days to tell myself that a score of 29 percentile is marvelous only from the last and even a school going boy would get more if he doesn't mark a single answer.
That day had been the same.
But then I saw a dream,for myself,which clearly ordered me and begged me to atleast have a dream, a dream only to satiate myself.It told me that no matter what the circumstances be atleast be true to yourself.
I again gave CAT.Yes,it took me four attemps wherein the 29 tutned to 58,58 to 85,85 to 91 and finally 91 to 97.8 percentile.Yes,it is not a big deal and I agree but for some one who had got a 33 in maths in 12th CBSE board this atleast appeared satisfactorily amazing.
And all happened cause I made myself beleive in myself.
It was that one dream one day.

Just that hope is missing somewhere.
And then the class again resumed with someone else caught sleeping.
The mental image needs to be built again.
Murmuring again took over the class.
And I need to believe that I can fit the picture that I am about to draw for myself.
We were given the choice to leave the class if we wanted.
A picture which would again show me a dream.

Neither me left nor the dream.

~Harsha

P.S.-The author humbly agrees that this is not a gimmick to show off his only achievement in life although which has not been much and that is his cat score,so the above text should not be used against him.

P.P.S.-The author is an asshole and it is late in the night.

tomorrow

2011-09-06T16:03:00.000-07:00

There is a thin tipping point on when,what and how much to write.
Sometimes I write and sometime writing makes me write.
Off late no one of us has been compelling enough to elucidate an enunciation.
Me and my artist are at the ends of a tug of war.Same goes when I am in deep conversation with my love.
What is there that makes me less of the mortal I am.I still think and still observe.
Have these been my decisions or would these be my imperative moves that I am going to take in the years to come.
What I am good at comes not from the fact of what I am really good at.It is what I negotiate with my mind of what I am good at.
Writing is the only thing that comes naturally to me but even then this muse could never be a vice.
This has made me stand up and think that what IT is that stops me from taking the plunge,the leap of faith.
Where does my heart lie really.

There should be something really concrete that is compelling me to ask myself at 4:21 am in the morning with a mid term exam the next day-What is it?
Well,to set the record straight-I am initiative and am here to seek answers to the unquestioned answers.
I ask myself that why have I not let my initiative switch roles with myself.
Why don't I ever see myself being carried away by my initiative side.

What is it that stops me.
But then what is it that kicks me.

Initiative is not what I can show at my work place and be content with.It is a damning person.
Would I continuously let myself erode or would I stay.
Sometimes I feel to let go off things.Like a battle lost,like a noose tightened,like stopping to struggle just before death.
Reason is I expect an excruciating too much.

Initiative not shown at the football ground,fear of leading from the front.
Initiative of not asking a question in the class.fear of standing alone.
Initiative of not hitting peopele when things turned bad.Fear of losing people.
Initiative of not applying to that competition which I was good at.
Initiative of not standing on the chair when others were at oratorical eloquence.

Well,I agree that it is not fear always.Many a times it also has been the feeling of content.Of times when I saw that I could do better but still let go.
Even then initiative has to play the cast,take a lead and applaud itself.
An even bigger question or maybe an answer would be plain sloth.
Just that tipping point.
Just the next step.

Maybe.

A day again behemoths asI keep typing.
Words have come but has the meaning really been achieved.
A potential distrust,a macabre happening what tomorrow has in for me.

But that is basically what I am arguing upon.
It is not what tomorrow has for me.
It is what I have for tomorrow.

Initiative...

~Harsha
This week's 3WW being erode,heart and observe.

The lull

2011-08-25T12:59:00.000-07:00

It is as simple as blood flowing through my veins.
As simple as sex with a loved one.
As simple as water running downhill or as clear as envy killing the brain.
But even then why is there that last lap which I have been avoiding.
Why me of all the people creating a cyst of mine.
People have adapted their minds to this me.

This is NOT me.
This can never be me.

I have been a man who has been raw,
like a lion roaring,like the wind blowing,like the dew tickling.
I of all the people can never stay and wait.
I have been a man of action of decisiveness.I have glided through difficulties with ease.

And still today when I was thinking about me I realised there are things where am dwelling without a direction,places I am still worshiping without a deity.The lie needs to be quashed.

How can I forget that there is only one god here and that's me.

Finally the time has come.For others start listening to lullabies cause I will lull you to silence.
I believe my time has come.No it hasn't come I just brought it back.

This week's 3WW being adapt,glide and lie

~Harsha

LOKPALayan

2011-08-20T15:04:00.000-07:00

Chaal hai tedi

Dagmagai hui si

Hosh hai besudh

Ladkhadae hue se

Sans hai adhuri

Bheegi hui si

Simat ti karahti

Tilmila ke fir bhi

Jagti hai

Hasti hai aur manti hai

Ki jana hai ab mujhe

Us par nadia ke

Jab mujhe jhukna na padega

Apne hi haq k lie

Jab kalkothri na mujhe bandh paegi

aur na rok sakegi mujhe hazaro ki fauz

kyunki ab ladai mei nahi lad raha hu

mei to sirf ek zaria hu tum sabka

zindagi tumhari ab mei nahi jee raha
kyunki haq hai ye tumhara aur koshish bhi

taqat hai ye tumhari aur paisa bhi

par fir bhi kyu

hum mare til til ke

aur wo hanse khil khil ke

bharath ne hai ek hunkar kia

safed vastro ne chadai hai prachanda

Lekin tarkash bhi apna

aur ban bhi

sadhna hai to lakshya

jisko mitana aur jiska ankho se mitna

hai sirf ek hi hath me

hath hai wo hamara

kyunki

desh hai yeh hamara

us rat

2011-07-26T16:36:00.000-07:00

saans ko chum raha tha
ya soch me doob raha tha
kya tha seene me us rat
jisko na jane kab se dhoond raha tha
fatwa jari karta tha har rat ko
chashmadeed bhi mei aur khushamdi bhi meri
par fir bhi na jane kyu,kabhi samajh na paya
ki kya tha us rat ko seene me mere

aisa kya tha seene me mere
jo na samjha paya farak mujhe
mere marne aur jeene me mere
aisi aag kya thi jo ek tadap na jhel pae
aisi bat kya thi jo ek jeevan ne dekh pae

kyu paye dir ne pankh aur kyu hari meri zaban
lafz thak gae khud se,kyu khatam hua har paigam
aisa kya tha us rat me,akhir bataye koyi
ki har rat ab bas dekhta hu khud ko tanga
khoonte pe kahi,har rat seeta hu ek aur sapna
gada hua kabro me kahi

akhir koi bata de mujhe
ki kya tha us rat seene me mere
jisne na fark karne dia
na jeene me aur na marne me mere

~Harsha

Shhh

2011-07-26T16:24:00.000-07:00

The pull is on

as a paper all torn

You write first

or let us be written

It is the fall of the pawn

or a king's return

The banter makes sense

or it is just a shrewd pretence

Sly swelled years

Glutton visible in peers

My breath fumbles

as my glance stumbles

As I fail to leave an impact

You all crusade and label me

a concoct

But I am not a brew

nor a whisper

nor the mockery

or the hushed fear

Catch hold of me

cause I am all yet the tip of the spear

Count your days

cause mine are numbered too

Pull up your socks

cause I am dirty too

From head to toe

to leg to temple

I will quiver my brow

To show you the omen

A dungeon seeths and a tornado weeps

cause they know that what I feel

And once I feel

You meanest of the mean

Would forget what actually feel,feels...

~Harsha

The artist's amazing art can be checked here Grinch

Kindly check 3ww for more enriching posts.

that night

2011-06-04T08:59:00.000-07:00

"Stalagmites and stalactites are the only things left in this place.
Some dripping cause I am losing memory and others cause this memory is going places I never went."

Groggily the old lady returned back to what she had been doing since ages.
Settled in her tutelage of broken chair near the creaking window sill she again poured back,on the memories that had been her only will.
Every day after getting up,which din't mean waking,running errands,bathing,having breakfast and settling to read a paper.It simply meant that she opened her eyes,eyes which could scarcely see but still her only hope.
She knew that once she opens eyes it wont be dusk but she knew for the coming 4 hours she couldn't sleep anyway.
So she waited with her eyes open nowadays reminiscing her days of glory, of beauty.
Of times when she was the one looked at,looked upon.
When she knew that boys from the end of the walkway would just pass her only to have a look at the peeking naval from the flowing sari.And she stood as if unaware just watering the plants.
Of ladies who would spew venom at even the mention of her name cause she always stood apart even in the most simple attires.
Of heaven in the arms of the salesperson she met once,of glittering nights with her husband's friend,of flowing hemlines with the school teacher.
And of what not.
She had not been the ordinary,nor the normal.
A friend of her once told her that she was born before her time.
She had been a student of history.And she always believed that she had been born years after her time.
Infact she felt that her pleasures could not be satiated by people of ranks,of fame,of power.
She only yearned for freedom.
She believed that the prowess in bed could only be determined by the feelings in head.
Not that she yearned to look for academicians or intellectuals but for men with spine.
For men who believed that there was one will and which was theirs.
She had inanimate conversations with a self of which she felt herself being a part.
A body with this self she just kept searching but only got parts of in different people.
It wasn't easy to woo her.Infact if even somebody thought of wooing her she would never look back leave alone being wooed.
She was a women with a world of her own.
And the man she set her eyes on shouldn't be someone whom others cherished.
Nor should he have cared.
Till she met him.
A cynic at thoughts,a magician at actions.
She could never unravel him.
At times the most serious looking person but the one who always came up with the best jokes.
Jokes where you cried while laughing but at a second thought seemed as the most profound thinking ever done.

"Her hate and her love never mingled but for him she could herself not think nor single."

He was the most erratic disposition she ever had.
Even before being laid she had sequenced the coherent rhythm a 1000 times in her head.
She actually knew the breaths and the timing of the shudders she would feel as she knew most of the time.

But this time things were different.
He was different.

She felt that a thousand nights and a million omens too were small for that night.

That was one day and today another one.

She is still looking at the ceiling.When the maid walks in.
When the sun comes out and another day sets in.

And still now till now she can feel him,that night makes her life luminous till now.

A night where she felt him not beside her but in her.

this weeks 3WW words-erratic, luminous and omen.

~Harsha

Know me

2011-04-18T11:17:00.000-07:00

I have been through this experience and will be subjected to all this again.

And this happens to me all the time.

I come but I wait,wait till it is right,right to strike again as always,

Right time to let others think that they are the only ones,ones in the territory.

Till then I smell and I think,I weigh,I plan,I visualise,I create,I cleanse,I group,I divide till I don’t yearn for any more.

And then I let the wheels in motion,delicate gears which were comforting each other earlier start moving each one all in the illusion that they are supporting others but unknowingly all working for ME.

The movement catches such a resonant upbringing that they forget the wears and tears that they are getting subjected to,melting whatever they had.

And I smile as they smirk.

Dangling the dagger high on them and that too for so long that they don’t even remember that I was the one who started plotting against them in the first place.

And slowly trust shatters between them,I still watch.

Cause I know this is what would ultimately paralyse them.
It wont be a head shot from me but the plain nail biting between each of them which would eventually poison the air inside their lungs.The consistent kneading done by their minds to them.

Suffocation by not breathing out so that they don’t have to share even their outgoing breath.

Or with some others who in their own greed of mistrust would pull all the air inside them just to have everything.

Till the jammed heart and burst lungs would move no more.

I did nothing,I moved not a single bit,I tore not a single ligament.It were you only.

Between I am jealousy.

Written for 3WW-Words being Cleanse,Knead,Melt
The wonderful image is taken from Fealsay-Click on the artist's name to see more of such creations

~Harsha

I striketh back

2011-04-18T07:41:00.000-07:00

Has this been a dream come true or a trance lurking over the ghouls.

I must would and should agree with the former.

Cause I know how much I had yearned for this,this being my MBA,my college,my hostel,my room.

I had been feeling low since long imagining colleges,just trying to be there but never ever being able to.

I sometimes ask myself - How big is a dream?

It is just that big to the point till which you chase it.

And believe me the more you chase it the bigger it becomes and the bigger it becomes the better it feels in the end.

Atleast I have felt so.

Right now I am walking the hallowed corridors of great lakes for real.I am sitting upright in my room’s wonderful chair.

The infrastructure is awesome,as good as I have never seen it in any other educational institutions so far.

But believe me even if the infrastructure had been shit I still would have been happier the same.

Cause I know that in the end I haven’t disappointed myself,Cause I took what’s mine.

I know how it feels when it takes you 5 consecutive years chasing the same stupid dream,

stupid cause only stupid things have the will and perseveration to doggedly chase.

Cause once sanity prevails,pragmatism kicks in we tend to act like adults.

And an adult wont try and cant try.

Adults tend to believe in things being obvious.

There is no red riding hood mating with a big bad wolf in an adults story.

It is just that being kids lets us see the hidden werewolves.

I know the ride wont be easy,things at stake are not small,dreams once seen have not drifted away.

I also know that its actually not about an MBA but about me.And it would always be about me.

As of now today is my virgin day in great lakes,I have not went out.

Today I have just spent the day with myself in the college,feeling it.

Sat in the amphitheater ,roamed around all the wings,met some in between but yes for once the victory would be savoured.

If I see back, in years today is the day when I am actually gluttonusly filling my craving of solitude.

And as the great philosopher MacD says-“I am loving it.”

I couldn't agree more:)

~Harsha

Spartan,G3N

Me,myself

2011-03-10T01:18:00.000-08:00

Put the glasses aside.
When I would die I want to die plain,properly aware of the weaknesses I have,physical and mental.
My soul is shameless and I want my body to be the same.

Still I dont feel something right.
Are you sure we should carry this on.It doesn't look dainty enough.

Were you sure to carry your stupidest feelings with you.Were you sure to care for your dream when everything was against you.
And year on year you were ready to face that haunting shame again knowing that you might lose again.

Might is a big word.

But the end never set you free.You had failed and would fail again.I would halp you be free again.I would make sure that nobody can jeer you,make fun of you.
Cause you won't br there then.

Umm.Sounds somewhat OK.But tell me do you really think that once I am dead people would really be concerned to be happy or sad or laugh at me,for me,on me.

Thats what O fallen insane,Nobody would laugh at you.They would just be left with a tantalizing sense of you but NO YOU.

And yes nobody would even think of me.And leave others what would I accomplish if I myself am not present.What would I do with a soul with respect.I prefer a body even if there is all disguist.
Meandering hopes,absymal falls but still there would be moment.

Well............

Yes.Even though you try to coax me,persuade me,count the innumerable years for me every year,I know one thing,atleast there is a direction every year,to do things,to understand fears,to put at rest many tears,atleast I know I have a life.So you,yes you,you better get lost.

Hey,Wait for me.Am also coming....

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This week's 3WW words are dainty, haunting and tantalize

~Harsha

riveting hopes

2011-03-03T09:56:00.000-08:00

How much more affinity can I have
with a truth that even I find hard to stare
I keep on fidgeting as my hopes fly riveting
with every news I find a mention
Once a rumor now a lost hope
But now some more pain can only subside this tension...
---------------------------------------------------------------------
As affinity bowls me happiness makes me lie
after all this is the reason that I would try
Fidgeting body jittery mind
deep down I know I can still be kind
Father to a radical mind son to a scrambled heart
Onlooker to a fallacy
or the supreme holder of a rotten legacy
All I can mention is that
she should have been a not been
Cause that only would have been
My meanest of means...
---------------------------------------------------------------------
And as I yearn for an affinity that has created pain
a stench,a killer feels years after his moments of mention
Rebellious disgust,drastic measures messed up
For happiness which went only dressed up

I was the only one at the funeral
A funeral happy for this death
Cause it was just me and the funeral
Me dead and the funeral happy
for me being dead
---------------------------------------------------------------------

just wanted to see how these 3 words address my thoughts in different directions.
Want to know how others go after their thoughts while writing poems.
The words at 3WW this week are affinity,fidget and mention

~Harsha

tiranga

2011-01-26T05:32:00.000-08:00

Anybody with 3 colors and a circle

can't be me

Anybody who just wants to hoist me

can't be me

I am not the money in a CWG scam

neither am I the rising onion price

I am not the one who wants to be unfurled in a reactive state

nor am I the spirit of the various terrorist attacks

I am not the building scam for politicians

Neither am I the Bofor's deal still fought in courts

How dare you to call me the bone of a 2G scam

How dare you to associate me with a state division's

I don't belong to Mumbai attacks

I never was a part of the Godhra riots

What am I

a conniptipon or a soul gone astray

Please,Don't take my name for a blame

that I never did

My colors don't justify religion

My spokes don't symbolise corruption

I don't have the glutton for boundaries

This year I am 61

I am born again and dead at the same time

No,I am not dead but you try to maime me

kill me

every year

Not by snubbing me

but by hoisting me

year over year

shamelessly,seamlessly

By making me symbolise a country

which shows no sign of reform,remorse

But whose integrity itself has gone janky

I know that this day has come again

A day for me

Let me live from this year

With dignity,with respect

Promise me just once

Atleast for this year

Promise me

That when you unfurl me

You would take steps

to scooch

over the sad past

to eradicate,to end

what has been there always

Just for once

No matter how small it is

but you would try

And then I would say

that any 3 colors and a circle

show me

Show that

I am the tricolor

This week's words at 3WW being:

conniption; noun: a bad tantrum. One has a conniption or conniption fit.
janky; adjective: broken or functioning poorly or improperly; messed up.
scooch; verb: to move over, or to scoot.

I thought to write a story first but then today is India's Republic Day so thought to jot what India as an individual would be feeling as the voice of youth as me.

Image Courtsey:One of my friends-Prashant Mishra had painted our Indian flag's sorry state once.Hope we improve it.

~Harsha

the kill

2011-01-20T02:25:00.000-08:00

beneath
the surreality
the banter
the hogged lights
the omnipresence

beneath
the twitched elbows
the gnawed nails
the blood puddles

beneath them all
was the success
that could have come
happily holistically
but now neither did any one notice
nor did any one care to acknowledge
the fact

that his move was not deliberate
neither amateur
the kill amassed once was still known
but his descent had started
not now
but back's back
like a track's crack
small at the start
but deep as it greys

he still kills his kill
everyday
just in the hope
that people would appreciate
just in the hope
that applause will be his

what he has failed to appreciate
till now
is that he just needs to satiate himself
and not even one morose critic
not another country man
neither any of his family

then only his kill would be his.

The words at 3WW being descent, kill, surreal

~Harsha

whew,it was close

2011-01-13T04:06:00.000-08:00

The words at 3WW are: harmless, moist, yelp

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Neither do I understand nor can I make people understand.

But I feel the urge to write when I am in the midst of my most important things as now.
But I am forced to remember that particular shot that had happened so clearly which could have very well changed my life forever.

Happily it din't.

It was the night of 24th of dec.There were just 15 minutes remaining for the gongs to sound and people to call hallelujah.
I had a hell of office work that day.I was choked to my head from the religious crap that I had been following since long.I could hear the sudden yelps my heart was muffling.
And after that long day I knew there were very few people meeting whom would give me the much needed respite.
And there I was all set to meet her.She had been to a party and had asked me not to come to pick her up as the night was more cold than the regular ones.

But,I insisted.

With gloves and 2 jackets on I was all set to capture the night.
With bike's engine revving up under me I set out.Me and this grim 2 wheeler always have been conqueror of sorts.
And this bike would turn even if I just said her to turn.
That was the camraderie that we shared.
That night too I came out with all hopes set high to break my mental barriers but something else awaited to be broken.

I was just 5 minutes out of the parking,on the main road when I came face to face with a big circular turn.
As always I coolly glided on that turn with the ace of the professional that I have always showed.
There was a bus going in front of me.i was planning to overtake it since long.Suddenly,the bus took a left.
The road being an extra large one and seeing the bus move towards its stop I pulled up the accelerator to a few more millimeters.

The bus moving to the left and I overtaking it from the right.Everything was perfect,perfectly harmless.In a matter of a few macro seconds I would have crossed the bus when suddenly the driver changed his mind.
In an instant the bus driver flicked his bus towards the right bringing it squarely in front of me.
I believe he did it cause there were no passengers to get down.

But that was when precisely everything pulled into slow motion for me.
first I saw the bus in front of me.
Then I looked at the other lane but there was a truck coming from the other side.Then with all my might I pressed the rear break and I knew that the collision was inevitable.
I was not able to believe that I of all the people would meet with an accident,me who never flouted rules.
With little options left I finally pressed my front brake.it was a disk brake.Within fraction of seconds the engine came to a halt but being on a turn the whole vehicle skidded and with it moved my body.
I could clearly feel my right leg touching the tarmac and then the bike.Within a moment I fell off from the vehicle.
I was seeing sparks flying from the bike and the bike kept moving from the bus.
If there was anything that was going through my head at that moment was the thought that this was not my bike and it was of foremost importance to me.

I don't know why but I looked at my left and I could smell the big bus tyres moving just on my side.
Slowly I stood up.I could feel all my limbs intact.With my pant half torn and superficial wounds which were blood smeared I slowly started hearing peoples voices.

They came to me running and said that it seemed that I would be dead by now.
Finally i was diagnosed with right leg limb rupture and some blood clots.
Things could have been worse,events could have been distorted.
Life doesn't come with alarm bells always.
But the few chances that we get can always be worked for a constructive future.
Sounds stupidly philosophical,boringly idiotic but still we should enjoy the moments that we have.
Or someday with moist eyes we would be looking at limbs which were once hands,a body which was once life..
I have met people who weren't as lucky as me.
But then life moves on.
Now while resting in this plaster cast I actually think that although my life doest seem to be changed but yes still it has.

~Harsha

you there

2010-12-15T11:05:00.000-08:00

dabble, lean, utter

Deep within this shit,I thought that there would be hope.
I thought that tomorrow when the sun would set I would rise
Rise again with the rising sun
I would dabble with affairs that I had lost
Lost in deep affirmative sorrows
My body agreed to lean on the shoulders of my hope
And hope agreed not to utter what was known
All my life I turned out to be a man
who with time agreed not to be a man
A man when it was needed the most
A soul which pleaded most
Like a ghoul over the window
like a spectre over the sheet
like that aching beat
that guttural sounds,that muffled shrieks
That I had tried to suffocate,to annex
all but in vain
was but a stain
of a past that I could neither remember nor forget
A wish that I could neither desire
nor destroy
cause all that had been left in me was a man
but yet not a man

The day is yours

2010-11-10T01:28:00.000-08:00

"The enthusiasm is killing me." howled the kid down the room.
His mother too was jumping in leaps and bounds.
This day was no ordinary day and her gesture was no ordinary one.
This was the day when her son had FINALLY passed the 10th class.
Yes and that too after three unsuccessful attempts.
There was a party lined up today.
The whole family had been gearing up for a together at Atif's home.
It was not that Atif was not mischievous.
Yes,he was like every second boy.
But what he was bad at was studies.
It wasn't that he never studied,infact he gave in more efforts than the regular pupils.
But still he was never able to make the cut.
Three consecutive flunks shatter a young boy who hardly understands and who can even hardly tell.

Things like these happen most of the times.
Either we or our siblings or our friends or maybe our children have been in the shoes of Atif.
Imagine Atif.
Studying hard.Planning even harder.
With friends he too might plan a long summer vacation after the break.
He too would have dreams.

I had a chat with Atif once.
I could feel the pain in his voice.
I remember the last time when his result came and I could hear his choked voice on the other end of the phone.
It was me whom he trusted the most and so he had asked me to check his result.
When I told him that he had failed he just asked me to recheck the result and said that it couldn't be true.
That was the biggest panic that has ever set in me.I could visualise the immediate outcome.
From that time to the time I reached his home I just wished that he din't do anything miserable.
I called his parents and just asked them to be with him.
Times like these are so fragile and life so vulnerable.
I am sometimes like nowadays enamoured of Atif.
I keep down weighing for my failures.
But when I see the world from Atif's view my failures have been nothing.
Imagine knowing that there is one more year wherein you can't do anything else but the same old process.
You don't even know what went wrong the last time.
You GAVE your best everytime.
You would continue to do so even now,but till when??
Add to this the shame when you meet your friends.
The humiliation your neighbours shower you with.

I have always said one thing-
Even at 3 am at night if their is some one who would take you with open arms is your family.
Be THE family,the treasure children want at these times.
Show them that you trust them.
Tell Atif that there is still life it was just a bloody exam and nothing else.
Remember that Atif is a lot more broken about this than any one else in the whole world.
It was his result after all.
I too have not been a standing pillar for Atif.
Misunderstanding his failing as his notoriety.

Let Atif see the light of the day.
Hopefully today is the party Atif had planned for,since three long excruciating years.
Let's raise a toast for Atif.
The day is yours.

Something on the same lines:- in the mind of a dyslexic

Note:
Every 100 minutes another teenager will commit suicide.
Suicide is the second leading cause of death among people between the ages of 14 and 25 in the United States.
The following statistics were taken from a recent survey of college and high school students by the CDC:
Twenty-seven percent of high school students said they had "thought seriously" about killing themselves during the past year. Eight percent said they had actually tried to kill themselves.
Ten percent of U.S. college students admitted serious thoughts about suicide. Seven percent had a suicide plan.
More than 30,000 Americans commit suicide each year, and 5,000 of these people are teenager
Read more: http://www.livestrong.com/article/13945-suicide/#ixzz14rxxu65W

Thousands of children commit suicide all over the world just because of flunking in exams.

The time has come for change

Written for 3ww
The words being:-gesture, immediate, treasure

Photo Courtsey:

Sanitarium IIby =aR-Ka

~Harsha

my 2 cents

2010-11-08T21:50:00.000-08:00

A sandstorm hit my view as I clobbered my own failures.
I knew that somehow I had agreed mutually with my self that even at my wit's end that this road was now a dead end.
But somehow I looked back at those grapes turned sour.
A constant question had kept popping since long but I had always hushed it away.
Today I just HAD to give the answer.
The solution was to either live the barricaded life engulfed in a cyst of my own existence or fight back for my greater self.
Greater self: The word itself resonates as a satirical joke on myself.
Where has been your greater self?
Let me rephrase it.
Has there ever been a greater self for you,Harsha?
You are nothing but the outcome of the inflated expectations that people have said just cause they had to say something.You are indeed that balloon that has always thrived on waste hot air.
You are that pimp outside a brothel who is projected as THE PIMP but in fact is a prostitute for THE prostitues.
What are you,Harsha.
You don't even have a proper ego.
Do you remember that jab that you had on your jaws in your first ear.
Does your blood still curdle at the thought of that fight.
Do you still know the taste of the blood that was trickling down your nose then.
DO you remember your failures Harsha.
Have you ever thought of replying back to those silent assassins,those vampires that have been sucking your pride since I don't know when.
Have you thought of living a life you want and even more a life you deserved.
When failures miraged you,you just stopped trying for those things.
Harsha tell me one major achievement that you can boast of.

Tell me a single milestone in your life that you can say you have put your blood and grit in.
Have you ever felt sweat trickling down your forehead,veins throbbing hard in your arms and eyes tired but still sparkling with the glow of success.

When Harsha when you would be the Harsha you want to be.
When would you stop this crap-a-homa.
When would you love your work.
When would you live your life.

I put 2 options in front of you:

First one being what all do.
Start loving your work.Start making starts.Get into the groove.
Respect everything cause with enough grit this is also the place where I have seen marvels happen.

And 2nd the path less travelled-Have faith,not in god but in your abilities,master perfection,infuse passion,be deaf not to the people but more importantly to your self.Kill that under achieving bastard in you.
And I dare you and beg you at the same time be that change that you have only admired.

One last question Harsha doesn't your blood still boil,you Bastard?

~Harsha

Photo Courtsey:

to fight or notby ~anatheme

Curiosity killed the cat-Did it

2010-10-23T23:36:00.000-07:00

Why am I not curious anymore.
I know not to be curious means not to have the desire to live.
But still if people had not been curious of the apple falling,or the earth moving or the fire burning,things would have never ever moved on.
But still am not curious nowadays.
Am anchored in my thoughts for actions that never burn.
Sadly,its not only me but a lot of prototypes I see everyday have lost the nerve of being curious.
Look at yourself,how many times do you actually stop at a construction site to see how the crane works.
Or how many times are you actually curious to read about that author's roots.
Or how many times you have actually felt to call the maitre d' of the hotel and ask him how he has cooked the food.
Not being curious is like going into an unstated limbo.

Is it either that we know that,we know all or is it the shame that moves with the act of being curious that is to ask.
Let's all not be duds.
We have got to accept that we don't know everything.
And there is no harming in trying to know.
To live is to be curious.

Life is just all about being curious,
about why we perform why we don't
about why we love why we don't
about how the sun sets how seasons won't.

Remember curiosity never killed the cat it was just that the cat committed suicide as it had nothing to do.

See,am curious what you people think:)

~Harsha

Dude,that's what exactly am made for

2010-10-19T03:48:00.000-07:00

Social media,bah humbug.
Thats what I should blurt out.
But I too am one of the addicts out there.

But this media is the place that has been throwing quite a few stark realisations straight on my face since a long time.

I am not being me or basically am not being what I intend to be but rather what I succumb to be.

The whole profile pages,the albums,the wall to wall talks are all showing me people who are finally giving way to eccentrities.
There are people who are going on the craziest of the trips.
There are my very own friends who have been embarking on the most bizarre professions that I had dreamed of,
or more properly felt in awe of.

When I turn my neck around I see people who are going to become lawyers,cinematographers,chefs and even many who are at home.

Somewhere today i am feeling that I am very soon turning into that cribbing regular man who cribs, spathes himself again and again in a glorified crying.
i tend to innovate caricatured excuses of job,of studies and n more alibis every other day.
But every day I know deep down that dude you had to be there.

Look at the sun rising from the peak's tip,look at the concoction that he just made,look at the awesome video she just made,Dude I had to be there.
But the biggest question that stands straight is why then am here.

I too want to be happy,clicking pics in places where I yearn to be.
i too want to be bubbling with a euphoria where I would be proud to say taht :look dude I belong here.
This is what i wanted to do all my life.

Then where am I going wrong.
Let me see what I actually want to do.
First is to write,write endlessly,maybe just a letter or maybe a novel,maybe for my solace or maybe for the world's pensieve.
So what is stopping me.
Me and me alone.

Am I stuck in a priority quagmire which is eating me and me trying to eat it almost at the same time.
Cause I have got excuses ready.
I want to do that bloody MBA since I dont know when.I am so vexed at times that it seems even stupid to put it in writing a crime.
And whats stopping me now.Thats me again.
This I say cause it is the only respite for me.

But then there is the acting bug which is there or not or well maybe ummmmm....

Whatever atleast the bug of living shouldn't die.

Maybe one day I would meet you all and say:
"Dude,that's what exactly am made for:)"

~Harsha

Divide and fool

2010-10-11T21:41:00.000-07:00

This story dates long back,back,back and enough of back.
Its a time when we actually cared for some things and people could easily see the potential of our care and use it in a lot of constructive work.
But this construction only helped them which was something that we later realized.
This story dates back to a time when we have seen our very own neighbours behaving a bit weird,eccentric due to some issues of as they say higher importance.
Its about the time of a pressure cooker world(although its still the same),but yet at that time the pressure was always ready to explode,hissing all the time with an anger that seethed since ages.
And believe me there was a time when after demolishing something of grave importance when you went back to your town you were treated like a swatantra sainani(freedom fighters) to the grades of Bhagat Singh or Chandrashekhar azad.
Well enough of the times,hoping at the same time that time never returns back.
So, at that time there cropped up an issue of a house,of a cake so common to all people but divided by lines not of flavours but of vengeance,vengeance sown by people who had no place whatsoever in that house,who had no share whatsoever in that cake but then there was a bigger reason.
These people had a big big cow.Lets call it the holy cow.
They just wanted to milk that cow.
They called that cow- INDIA, with love.
So all they wanted was some fodder to feed the cow,just some safe fodder.
And people of those times could even stake their own lives just so that the cow could have its say.
Sadly the fodder got all eaten by the men themselves.
The cow has shrivelled up to the size of a retarded goat.
And the only instances when we hear about the cow is when photos of tidy rooms come in national dailies for some stupid local games with ' articulate beautiful designer dog leg blankets' or of creative pan stein walls.
I still am unable to understand why the kangaroo land people are all praises for those dragon owners. Instead of appreciating the beauty of our designs they make faces,ridiculing at the marvels that won't ever be found at any other place on earth.
And now isn't it the best games village we could ever give.
Now small bits of wrongs and rights are always there.
Now take this even if someone comes to visit your house these small things always stay,don't they.
Like dog stained blankets and pan coloured walls.Isn't it common :)
Add to this we have epitomised the way judgement happening in this country with god himself being one of the petitioners.
Our cow has come of age now.
Sadly one of its calves got divided into 3.But then that was a fair judgment based on facts after all.
But even if it is who cares.

Why to draw lines on places when we all are the same.
Even now we can all come up mutually for places that are common to all.
I understand the angst that we had this place so we will have it back.
We ruled it once so we would rule it again.
But when would we absolve our generations from a hell which they would never want.

What we all need too understand that lines once drawn would only get deeper.
The cake has been divided.
The essence now lies with us that how good these pastries could be aligned so that we all can mutually eat together.

May the pressure just wane out of this cooker.

To the cow:)

~Harsha

Determination

2010-09-16T22:34:00.000-07:00

As I stretch my hand

My blades hurt

I scamper to a rescue

but my veins thrust

I pull whats all within

and let out one last cry

with sweat in my eyes

and blood in breath

I yearn to instigate everything

that has not turned death

The silence tickles

as if insane

The time trickles

as if it would never wane

But there I see the hourglass

Losing all the sand

There I see my life

losing all that could be grand

I had promised myself

that I would hold that time

I had promised myself

that I would fight this time

So,one last time

I stretch my hand

My blades hurt

And ah,

I hold the time.

------------------------------------------------

Written for Magpie Tales

~Harsha

A hollow body

2010-09-15T07:51:00.000-07:00

Don't make me feel offended.
Said he looking straight into his stark naked being in the mirror.
Days have passed and I have lost my demure,he thought.
He thought of the days when people would envy him of his gaunt body, of the flawless structure.
But a major accident had left most of his lower chin disfigured.
This combined with a powerful malignant liver disease had killed his appetite and love for food.
And finally the loss of his wife had left whatever desire he had for life.
Today while coming back from the graveyard the empty house and his hollow body were his only belongings.
A shining blade in all its glaze was looking at him.
Smiling as if hungry for his blood,for his life.
It was just ready to cut his veins with a slash of his fist,to put to silence the last jargon of a body that clinkered heavily with the drops of water seeping from the tap.
With high hopes and crumpled beliefs,he was ready to end the pain,pain of living.
The blade glistened in his hands,at the tip of a murderer who was a saint at the same time.
A last slash waited and just then over the shelf shone the lone hairclip of his wife.
And for the last moments before death he saw her,felt her and thought of every single moment they ever had.
And remembered the belief she had in him,in his disfigured face in his shrivelled appetite,in her volatile life.
That was the moment when the blade fell down and the spark to live returned back.
His eyes now glistned back for their love they shared.
Then he felt that killing himself now would mean killing all the wonderful memories he ever had of his loving wife.It would mean ending all the moments where he can still feel happy cause he had a wonderful life once.
The naked body was not naked anymore.the disfigured face was beautiful now cause it had the beautiful lines that had aged with his love for her.
Suddenly he headed to the kitchen to subside his craving for a wholesome dinner.

~Harsha

Faith-just be there for some more time

2010-08-29T04:09:00.000-07:00

Faith.
The word itself goes into immense grueling by the very person who posses them.
What is faith?
Is it the belief in the god whom we have never seen.
Or is it the belief in that religious guru or that holy man who promises a way to god
but the very next day his sex tape emerges as the most watched video on you tube.
Or faith is that political group which on the ground of its faith destroys a mosque
just to uphold the faith which is its basis.
Or faith is that veil that lets us do any evil,cover all the sins taken and done in the name of god.

What is faith then.
Is it the belief that yes we have our family always there for us even at the dark of night.
Or is it the education that we underwent which would be our weapon even at the dim
of recession.

Faith is subjective and that too very very subjective.

Do I have faith??
Yes,I have.
I have the faith that when I would lie in shambles,distressed distraught then it won't be the god
who would come to hlp me.
Neither would it be one of the groups busy in breaking another church nor the holy people.
It would be me and me alone who would be the last man standing for me.

Then why should I search faith in every obscured vision,in every kaput government,in every lost
syllable.

I agree that yes my faith got skewed at times,afraid at moments but happily it is still there.

I have found my faith.
Wish the same for all of you.

~Harsha

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Image courtsey:batman_by_anima_parilis
Check this for more about the artist: http://fav.me/ddblca

aghaz

2010-08-28T02:54:00.000-07:00

Dhad dadate hue kadmo se

taptapati hui nazro se

Saans ki lagam ka aghaz ho hi chuka tha

Sard dopahri me

andheri rat me

ye paigam bas bik hi chuka tha

Ek jeet thi woh

aur ek har hai yeh

kar raha hu taiyari

ab na hosh na khumari

hai agar to sirf ek darr

hona chahie tha jaha junoon

par pata hai mujhe ki fir se

mei banunga sher

ithlate hue mausam ka

karunga ek sir pair

Bade hue darr ko

mei hi karunga dher

kehlaunga gair

ya kehlaunga ek apna

chilaega mera akrosh

aur dabega mera darr

jab fir se ek bar

mei kasunga apni kamar

kamar us ant k lie

jiski shuruat bhi

aur ant bhi

likhunga bas mei

~Harsha

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Image courtsey:fearless by Pandarice

check this link for more of his work:http://pandarice.deviantart.com/art/fearless-32838883#

mei

2010-07-23T16:06:00.000-07:00

bahut dino k gubaaar aj foot gya
acha hi hai,jo tha wo choot gya

leke apne asuaoo ko
kyu piya tu itne din
shayad bhul gaya tu
ki jiyega bhi to bas ek din

rat k kinare me taktaki bandhein
asuai ankho se dhundha bahut
milna tha jo mil hi gya
par milkar bhi konsa mil giya

sochta hu ki ye ek dard hai
ya dawa
ya fir ek sapna tuta hua
ankaha

bhara tha bada dil me mere
zuban p machalta,dhundta
ek mauka kehne ka,ek mauka samjhane ka

ki aag hai machalti yaha bhi
dil hai pighalta yaha bhi

atishi raaz ban k sab dabb gaye
jo bache the wo bhi bikhar gaye

mann ne kaha bahut, ki kaash tum samajh pate
dard aur gam ko nigal pate

shayad, aur lekin ke beech
reh gya ye dil seena paseej

aur isiliye shayad

bahut dino k gubaaar aj foot gya
acha hi hai,jo tha wo choot gya

~Harsha

the truth

2010-07-14T15:29:00.000-07:00

His usually gentle praise was so vulgar this time that she was actually happy of the monotony being broken of the fake appreciations.
Infact now of all the times,she loved him the most.

~Harsha

Is Maharashtra not a part of India

2010-07-13T21:15:00.000-07:00

This was one reply that I had written to Shobhaa after her open letter to Raj thackrey.
Just found it so thought to put it up here.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hi Shobhaa,
Now this is what we call a wonderful post.
Actually you made me wait long enough to read such an insightful post.
I totally completly wholly agree with your interpretation of Raj Thackery.
Marathi manoos,what the hell.
And not only him I am pained at the countless educated "INTELLECTUAL" people even here in the comments section who revel in this Marathi Manoos stupidity.
Fools have you people forgotten that there are already enough reasons for us to be at war with ourselves.
have you people forgotten the usless Babri masjid demolition,the Godhra carnage,subsequent Gujarat riots,attack on pub going women.
Are these not enough to increase animosity,that you want to create enemity even on the basis of place we were born.
How stupid of you to say that people are using Mumbai's water and resources,cause there would be your children too going to other places to study and for other reasons.Should they be labelled outcasts???
Or rather killed stupidly by a raging moronic mob withot a head but an even more stupid leader at their helm.
A Marathi manoos or an aam manoos all would be right if we are at peace with ourselves and believe that we are human beings first even before being Indians.

~Harsha

Think

2010-07-12T19:45:00.000-07:00

Scratches borne,

Sweat glistened,

Angst dead,

Courage pronounced,

Thirst conscious I stood,

A sound mind,

the only asset worth flaunting seemed jammed.

Death was just a timely change,

the world too small to rob me of any happiness,

parity paired beyond disgust.

Am I really what I want to do.

Do I live for what I desire.

Sadly,am churning myself in incongruous levers of an utterly delicate machinery.

It is not their fault that they expect me to perform,

but mine cause I have planted the wrong expectations.

The time has come again

either to put things right

Or just to be RIGHT....

Aao BANDH karein

2010-07-08T15:12:00.000-07:00

Bandh,this word has elicited many a feelings deep down since childhood.

There was a time when this young mind felt extremely happy just by the name of this word.

Cause it meant a break from the everyday grime of scholastic school predators.

But as this mind grew wider so grew the bandhs.

Bandhs were not a nocturnal sighting of a rare owl anymore but the hood of that hissing cobra eating the house from inside.

And with bandhs came the bundle of venom of hate spewed across the cities,of livelihood lost,of families crushed,of extreme damage to public property,damaged rails,mutilated roads,scavenged buses and not to forget people.With changing times the types of bandhs too have changed.

Anything and everything from a hike in petrol prices to every other leader in the circle of arrest could and has instigated a bandh.Things have reached a proper planned process in such a way that the word Chakka jam,even if said in a friendly undertone by these people can be achieved in a very short span of time.

Varied parties that have been fighting cats and dogs keep coming together during these times so a to gain their part in the dead man's chest.Earlier it used to bother me that how educated people,who care for their family,their livelihoods could agree to bandhs.

But then it came to my knowledge that all you need is these executioners,with their gang of motley crowds,belt pulled for the required day.later they will fish their share in their eschewers.

Oh and the common man,yes he is there.These things,the bandhs have been so much in vogue that people actually helplessly take this as a welcome holiday and then there are people at lower tiers who can't stay at home but have to run a livelihood,.It is just that their livelihood for considerable amount of time shatters on that day.

Some leaders have said that they won't stop vehicles that have an emergency say a casualty,a childbirth.

thanks a tonne buddies.But can these poor souls cross already jammed roads till the point they can come to your patriots and explain that there is some serious concern.

All we want is souls who would agree to put our price hikes in proper ways rather than making us ourselves pay the price of rise in the prices.Well I haven't seen too much of violence in today's bandh but just cause of the bandh yesterday night's streetlamps kept working the whole day.

Anyways I can't do much.Soon there would be one more bandh,or should I call a welcome holiday.

And yes between the lines I have to go to work this saturday to settle the productive loss because of the bandh.

Alas one more holiday gone.

~Harsha

go go go

2010-07-08T15:00:00.000-07:00

Its 2 in the night.One of my most powerful moments of the whole day,before dawn after night.I reign.I look.

But do i rule,or these are but my mind playing tricks with me.

Just now have made mental note to study for this year's big exams.

And then saw Russell peter's show and then I am again asking myself -Can I ever be at a place like that.

There is one profession that right now I am following and I pretty suck at it.But that's a respectable one.People are mad about it.You have tonnes of money in it,Only if one can mint it in the right way.

Probably,I can't.

And then there are things that I am good at,probably.

Things where my mind runs at lightning speed,probably,and there is value out there.But right now where I am its all considered plain crap.

Plan to write a novel,plan to host shows,plan to travel the world,plan to kick butt,plan to run on the roads now,plan to do my MBA by biting the cat real hard.PLAN.

This word itself has become a jeering question nowadays.

All my plans I have seen doing backflips in the dirtiest of the puddles.Yes,I have grown since these plans first surfaced but my position still remains as the remnant of the same stupid kid.

Aimlessly once more my eyes graze the virgin road taking seducive curves,all waiting to be trampled by me.Just feel like picking my bike and roving the road.

(Mental note to self:-Got to buy a bike)

Again have to organize myself.Have consistently been making my mind agree to the fact that this chain can't be torn,this shackle can't be defabricated.

Is that jeering road ruling me by calling me or is it I who am controlling it.

Is it me who is taking decisions and moulding life or rather it is life that is calling me names and just bending me in the situations.

What am I,a book keeper,a journal writer,an amateur,a coward,a liar,a pot bellied idiot,a dignified meek,a mundane lifestyle,an incongrous shakespere,an emanciated self...........

Drastically set goals tend to elongate like the life of a medically extended old soul.

Happy for the life but sad for the self.

Happy because I am afraid to die,sad because am not able to live.

Yes euthanasia is the only solution.Yes it is.

~Harsha

Whom do you call a monkey:India in my eyes

2010-06-14T21:30:00.000-07:00

Chapter 1:

We never knew why it never happened.
Maybe it was because of the state of shoddy affairs of the country.Or because every other day a more substantial story had the power to rule the previous one out.Or maybe just because the issue too had long been forgotten like the crores of issues that became stories and finally faded into oblivion as a mere trace of "lokkatha(fairy tale)".But,well we somehow had a strong belief that it was the doing of kala bandar which we saw in the poster of Delhi-X in front of us the other day.
But,whatever the matter was finally the three of us were quite happy that it never happened.Cause,even with all facilities it would have been real tough to accommodate one more of us amongst us.And now when we have such a huge crunch of space in the city,with prices zooming sky high,a mall opening every other day, a bridge zapping in half every hour,who would have the patience and time to let another monkey monkey around.
We hardly care for people's life nowadays,so, giving a damn and that too a monkey and over that a lifeless statue of a monkey and boy did you know that a lifeless white monkey's statue along with us-phew,no chance.
So,as I said we were quite content with whatever the result or outcome it had converged into.
Oh,a bit of confusion.I see.
Let me first tell you who I am...or rather who we are.
Well,to be very true we don't have any name.
Our creators some poor sculptors left the work halfway,cause some of them were not paid enough,while the others were too lazy to get us finished.
Initially we had heard the news that the then political party wanted to portray an ideology shift.
You might have heard about a great freedom fighter- Mahatma Gandhi.
Got it-"An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind."
Many of you may be hearing this at upfront railway stations in western countries when you would be busy kissing your girlfriends goodbye.And if you stay where we are and yet don't know him then it is a pity for the poor man himself cause you O fool have transcended the boundaries of insanity.
This great man of ours had a wonderful philosophy which he preached through our ancestors-Gandhiji's 3 monkeys.
As I said our ancestors i.e. these 3 monkeys had a wonderful style of their own.I was confused whether to use his or it for them cause most of you would call us another animal,but finally I being a monkey and that too a white statue have feelings more deep than you humans.
So the use of 'him' is not only pardonable but exquisitely necessary.
So,one of my ancestors had his hands on his eyes,one on his ears while the third one held his hands on his mouth.
Now they had this wonderful teaching to tell-Not to listen bad,not to see wrong,Not to talk foul or was it to stop bad breath,am not sure of the last one.
But,sadly our great ancestors were long forgotten like the great man himself.
Erased plain blank.As if there was no one who actually existed.
His only remembrance nowadays is the lack of liquor on his birthday.So,you would either have to empty wads of green currency notes to the corrupt khakhi balls or go for the country made cheap hooch and end up dying most of the time.
So this man as I said was long forgotten except for teh politicians on his birthday or when the TV showed Munnabhai.And with him forgotten were our three ancestors.And sadly one day these 3 grand dad's were bulldozed because of a wrong road expansion plan.You see this happens most of the time here,plan A eats plan B i.e. to say the constructor opts for whatsoever plan that helps him cover his township costs that he has been building,not to forget quenching the thirst from all parts of the society,from the government peon to the minister in power.
Sometimes we think that who benefits from all this because as we know every inlet has an outlet.Oh,don't take it in your dirty sense it is just the moment of money from one hand to the other,although what you thought was worthier than the same.
So,after my ancestors and their last bits were scraped from the chouraha(the four sided crossing),the then minister had a very noble idea.He wanted four monkeys placed at the same spot i.e. the center of intersection of the four roads each one facing each road.He called us as the new symbols of peace and at peace we were.Cause as we said that the sculptor was a poor lazy independent moron,He slowly and infinitely worked on us and that too with such detail that he forgot to make the fourth of us.
So,here we were the 3 of us waiting for the light of the day when one day we saw the sculptors working on a set of a lady's chiseled torso,I mean a newer statue complete with a purse.News was ripe that the man who hailed us in his ideology had lost the elections and lost were we.So,we sat here in scum eating dust,the 3 of us.A few days back,all that which had the promise of a shining skyscraper in the midst of a towering city had now melted into lonsome meadows.
And then there was no one but us.
And it was the first time.
The first time when precisely the 3 of us started talking to each other.
--------------------------------------------------------------
(3ww)erase, meadow, trace

Kindly be patient and let me know what are the flaws.Planning to give it some good shape:)
Criticism would be highly appreciated.

~Harsha

Save me lord

2010-06-14T07:18:00.000-07:00

I looked back and still I could see him.
The outline of that tall gaunt figure cleanly pressed against the damp wall was sending deep shivers down me.
I know it was coming,coming for me.
Coming as a reminder for all the days lost,of all the deeds did.
But even then I was afraid.
Afraid not of that figure but afraid of the feeling that would rise once I would meet him.
There was not a single voice heard,neither any word said,just the dark of the night.
I sensed something but before i could jump that obstacle I fell down.
With bleeding knees and a deep cut on my face,with blood oozing and entering my eyes,the figure grew even hazier.
I could taste blood on my tounge or rather was it sweat.I just hadn't the time to think and all I wanted was to run.
I ran again but could not.
I had ran all that I could.I had hid all that I could.
And then I asked myself how much more would I run,how many cuts I would bear.
And then exactly,precisely my world stopped.
And with it I stopped.
I turned back first time in my life to face him.
To call him and tell him that I was not afraid anymore,I am not AFRAID any more.
And then I saw him shrinking,scampering,moving away from me.
There was no one but just my fear,there never was anyone but just me in my fear.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I have again turned ,to face the many fears that were troubling me,failures of sorts,failures of academics,of jobs...but then someday there ought to be a superhero,a saviour to save me.How many times would I wait for people to come and help me.After all this is my life,my trouble.Had been dejected since long afraid of those eyes,those jeering remarks,those rejected calls,those colleges where I failed to enter,those preparations am afraid to again undertake,that office job that I can't complete,that cab driver whose rudeness I can't reply back...
Someday it has to end.
Someday someone has to come to save me.

Happily I am my SUPERHERO.
And am on my mission.

~Harsha

COURAGE

2010-05-09T21:45:00.000-07:00

What is courage?
I have always tried to answer this question,to no one else but me.
Yes there is a lot of courage that goes in the wartimes,of soldiers standing guard against enemy inevitable,of peple believing in god for causes unavoidable.
But for me courage is different.
My courage might not be that big in size,might not be that grand,but still even my courage stands as COURAGE.
Courage for me is standing and that too taut.
Standing for the times when I could believe in myself against all odds.
Courage for me is getting down from your vehicle and helping that accident stricken man in the midst of the road.
Courage for me is going into the dingy chawl between AIDS prone people and helping them.
Courage for me is saying NO to that traffic policeman,that broker,that government officer for the under the table corruption.
Courage for me is slapping that guy who is trying to abuse that child or that girl in a bus.
Courage for me is to be there for your friends,your family when they need you the most.
Courage for me is taking that lost child home even if it means a tussle from the local cops.
Courage for me is to stand against people who think that caste,religion,society are the biggest things in life.
Courage for me is to stop things,people who are wrong even if it means compromising with your job.
Courage for me is the feeling that I would have at the end of the day that yes,I am leading a meaningful life.

Yes,there are instances when I show courage and instances when I act a coward,but yes atleast I am trying to become courageous.

~Harsha
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
For more work by the wonderful artist check here-
http://treijim.deviantart.com/art/

the visonary raised his hand and then chaos reigned

2010-05-02T03:27:00.000-07:00

"the visonary raised his hand and then chaos reigned"-

Sadly,this is the apathy that we have to bear with,every now and then.
Slam dunked to the core.
One mighty furore infests the other.
One cheap trick quickly eats the other
people like earthern pots
waiting to be squashed as stews
Families happy and gay
Now no more even in the life's fray
Which devil believed in which god
Which religion dwarfed which one
The fools never understood,neither could the geniuses estimate

One fine day comes a Ram
Another day one jigs a Jesus
Allah's word is spread
So how can Jews abstain from their god

But in all this where has the god gone
But in all this where has THIS gone

Indeed we all will listen
Indeed we all will understand
To a man who himself is the core
To a man who is GOOD
To a man who has HELPED
To a man who is a visionary

And yes we have heard
Remember---
And then
"the visonary raised his hand and then chaos reigned"-

-------------------------------------
Photo credits-
http://wanaco.deviantart.com/
www.gilead.deviantart.com
www.taenaron.deviantart.com

Where m I heading

2010-03-15T21:28:00.000-07:00

HAhah,

so m up here.
now wat does dat mean.
Single pointed answers are not my forte,nor my weakness.
I too like the umpteen thousands planned rather pitifully and strongly to act and act soon.
3 years since I have been giving CAT.
3 solid ones.
Never ever lost on the hopes,imaginations and stuff.
First year I very much remember walking across the corridors,touching the walls,sleeping in dorms of none other than IIM A.
All had been so crystal clear.
I felt that I was practising real hard.
Before I say anything more I would say IMS sucks,they literally cheated me with nothing.
Kkkkk.So,what I was left at CAT was 29 percentile.
After that year finished enginnering, reattempted CAT-58 percentile.
Joined Satyam reattempted CAT-85 percentile.
Huh,the dynamics remain same but the maniacism just got bigger.
Satyam fiasco was fun.
Anyways left Satyam,have an offer from IBM.
Dint join.
wAnt to go 4 cat.
But but m what I was always.
Poor in quant.Felt that I was quite gud in DI n eng.
LAst year I knew that any set of DI I wud put my hands on I wud crack it.
But lack of activity has made me dreaD the same DIs back.
Eng acts as a slithering muse,at times so intimate while at others so cold.
And quant umaaaah wat to say,have dreaded it since my childhood days.
Dunno wat n when why n how but still m writing dis.
Infact I am writing this not to cry over my sorry state f affairs but rather to revisit it once m thru IIM A and smile back:)

-------------------------------------------------------

Had this post lined up long back.

Endings have been varied,or rather to say that end hasn't been achieved it

CAT is over now.

Have had a 97.8 prcntl.

Today nearly all college lists are over.

Only IMT is wat is in hands(and that too if I am in the list).

Wait has increased.

With the 70 percent rule for 10 th and 12th,the IIM window too has closed.

So no meaning in dropping further.

So m up again...

All over and over and over again.

~Harsha

"Don't dawdle Alice"

2010-02-19T12:29:00.000-08:00

"Don't dawdle Alice"

One line that always reminds me of Alice in Wonderland.
A line said by the ever intelligent cat which shows Alice the key to priorities.
And Alice as she is,even at such high priority time is awestruck by the world she is in.
So peculiar of her,right.
And in turn,of you,me and us all.
No day is useless.No day is aimless.
Yet aimless drifting is what we have been doing since ages at a stretch.
That check that needs to be processed,that chapter that needs to be studied,the effort that needs to be put,that phone call that we had to do.
But we as Alice are most lost in other entanglements.
And it is more sad cause half of the important times are just lost in the nerdy hitches that rise in our throats.
All are just stuck up in an inanimate time frame.
A state which would always come with splashes of pleasure and pain.
It's just that we have been postponing them.

So,Alice this is for you and for me.

The time to dawdle is over.
The time has come,come for things that need to be handled,for plans that need to be executed.
I have been witnessing that 3/4th of my life's situations am leaving in the hands of the river's flow.

But time has come to question the 3/4ths and merge as one voice.

So,please Alice don't dawdle,let's run and that too real hard.

(For the wonderful image and other work's of the author,visit Image source)

~Harsha

Placid death

2010-02-17T11:55:00.000-08:00

Fathom the seas.
Ride the mountains.
Pull that plug.
Stitch the time.
Do the now.
Make the move.
Catch that bus.
Hop the train.
Trim that waist.
Catch that heist.
Touch that girl.
Kiss your love.
Win that job.
Earn that sum.

Placid death,isn't it.
Although placid but still it is there as always.
And that's what I have been enjoying since past few days,a placid death.
Atleast my one happy hobby shouldn't die a placid death.
Atleast one part of me doesn't get pressed in the undertones but emerge stronger.
And hence I write.
Wanted to say-That hence I write and hence I live.

~Harsha

ctrl+alt+delete

2009-12-23T11:50:00.000-08:00

What to do when a standstill is stretched beyond boundaries.
What to feel when repetitive flogging drains the brain's carcass.
What to do when the sole point of doing something itself becomes so disturbing that the questions sometime shield you as much as they hinder you.
Feeling of not achieving things have elevated to such an extent that I am revelling in the pain of failures.
The only bouts of freshness or rather masochistic happiness has been the spasms of nothing ness.

Dreams shattered,happiness stabbed,mediocrity slumped...laughing over the ghouls of past,over those infinitesimal small glistening buds,buds of success,drops of camouflaged failures,ores of scathed skeptical wins,wins so small but made so big in the self immolating refinery that made me believe that I stand as the witness and as the proof that a man can win,no matter how small he is,or how ugly he looks or rather most importantly how foolish he is.
All my life the figments I celebrated were of a supposed day when I would achieve what i have been yearning for.
All the seconds I checked the clocks just to check the clock to find the current time just to notice my success's presence.
Yes,to say I lost once again won't do much justice,but yes to analyse it over so as to abate failure's future pretense might do some good.
But,hasn't this been an often repeated ritual in a journey that I have ceremoniously followed,religiously accepted.

The only thing worth reiterating is the fact that you don't feel the low because of a rocket science gone bad but rather because of the fork that you placed wrong.
A doomed country as the aftermath of that failed rocket might not wake you,but yes the rigid faces on your dinner table might.
Yesterday was one of such days for me.
A wait so long came to an end.
I am a happy go lucky guy.
I get things quite easily,but those that I have got were never of that octane importance as others keep feeling for me.
But yes there was this one thing and there is still this one thing that I have wanted most of my life.
I had put in real hard work but with time failed to agree that yes,I am a notch lower in my brain's make than many with whom I thought to flag the crusade.
Somewhere,in the alley's nooks my brain itself made me forget it's limitations.
To dream high is very important but to stay grounded at the same time is even more important.
I know it went wrong but where,is a question I too am still contemplating.
After a tough time the barrage of emotions had piled to a height that were just a breakeven breather.
The small nail in the coffin that ravaged me with seething desperation came again as always,uncalled but omnipresent inside me.
I sometimes question myself-am I a fool,why am I stuck in things as small as finding addresses,locating the turns that I just crossed,remembering the names of people I just met,making the same maths question wrong that I did before half an hour.
And again the same situation encumbered me.
It was a already a day of dejection.
Results of major exams that I gave were out and I wasn't selected for any 1 good.
It meant only one thing-I have to do job again for one more year,job which I find boring,which I find doesn't understand my creative wings,stifles me morbidly not because it does but because I think it does.
With a heavy racking mind went to join the Big blue.
Was weak as had been ill since the past few days.
And then after a meeting for a new project and working on some initial onboarding details,planned to leave office.
The hopelessness had seeped from my mind to my body.
Was just finding the way I came to the 1st floor.
Saw the lift but wanted to catch the staircase,but as always my incessant queer brain made me feel impossible to spot the way I came up.
And then I saw a staircase with bar shaped gate.
In my previous company pressing the bar opened the gate and led me through the passage.
Thought same and pressed the bar,but here in IBM this was meant to be an emergency exit.
The moment I pressed the bar an alarm started resonating.
In a matter of seconds 10-20 people came rushing.Amidst the chaos a voice shot -"He is the one."
Questions were shot and all asked me why din't I just catch the same stairs by which I came.
The only answer that I mumbled was that I forgot the path.
With their horrified amazement set in my heavy heart I moved downstairs and this was the point that made me question myself-Why am I such a big fool?
That evening I walked to my home for quite long.
Heavy heart came seeping out through perceptive organs at varied intervals.
I was not celebrating my bigger failures that happen most of the times but the smaller direction disorientations that happen all the time.
Yesterday was one of the days when I felt quite low.
But I have reprimanded it today with a cheerful smile.

I am trying to re see things,re animate my mind,re correct the roads etched in my mind,re read the directions that I so wrongly analyse,accept the fact that I am happy that I felt so low yesterday.

Cause a man stands only after falling.
Whether yesterday's fall was strong enough or i still need a more substantial fall,the question is why wait,when the answer questions me to just run :)

~Harsha

With 3ww
image source-visit the link to see artist's(12*7) creative work

hues

2009-11-17T22:47:00.000-08:00

"Cyclone 'phyan' about to hit Mumbai."

Scrolled through the news and knew that it would surely hit my place too.
But right now the climate is pleasent.
A dark stretch of clouds has gobbled up the city.
I know deep down that I have never ever woke up to find such a lovely morning.

The hues are blurred and so is the mind.

From what my eye can see the whole horizon is painted with the quick hands of an artist who is so at ease but also so at hurry.
He initially plans to have the lovely shades from his glistening pastel colors.
But with quick strokes he makes it all look a bit of color stroked thru a camelhair tipped brush.
Thick at the start but lighter at the end.
But somehow in middle of the act he finds it awkward and he is replacing the blue clouds with uneasy strokes of mixed black while I look at awe and more in wonder the speed of his work.
Coloring has never been my forte and hence I refrain from giving him much suggestions although I prefer lesser delusions than myriad mixtures.
While he works I am chuckling at the wonderful wind blowing right through my hair.
Now how many times does it happen that on such a wonderful morn you are holding a superb cup of tea on the balcony of a 10th floor and that too completly immersed in nature.
I think and rethink that how on earth can climate be so wonderful.
Slowly it starts to rain.Its more of a drizzle.The aroma of raindrops combined with sand give me the most refreshing feeling ever.
I also understand know that why such season is the perfect time for copulation(pretty coarse:P).
Just to have a quick world view I come inside wade through my mails my study material and the numerous social sites and networks.
I switch on the TV for an instant:"Cyclone 'Phyan' wind's clocked at 90 km/hr and the winds are estimated to grow."
I switchoff the idiot box and enjoy the tremendous gush of wind pressing itself through the windows literally threatning to break the house.
Bah,social networking.Studies,humbug.
Just watching the best forms of nature playing the seduction dance.
I can myself feel the mystic intimacy of the winds and clouds right out of my window.
I very well know they wont approve me of watching them in their act and that too so deeply engrossed.
I want to take my eyes off but more the forbidden a thing is more beautiful it becomes.
I was still thinking was it a voyeurism I was enjoying or is it the wonderful nature.

And suddenly a fluttering pigeon almost misses my windw.
It somehow finds a hold and rests on my window sil.
With wings tattered and an expression that it has gone through hell doesn't bring any more happiness to my life.
I wait with my stifled breath cause I know even a single movement of mine would frighten the poor creature and its miniscule seconds of relief too would be eaten.
Suddenly,I see my friend enter the room.And before I can stop him the poor bird sensing danger flies away.
I can do nothing except see it fly into winds flowing with a rage of 90 km/hr.
I can see it going back to a place which was once its nest its home.
A place few hours back from where it left its kids to bring back food to feed the wide mouths.
Still knowing that death might strike it cause they do not need a meterological survey to tell them that a cyclone is about to hit.
But to feed its baby birds it goes into the wild daring 'Phyan' itself.
And I know if it goes back it would find its kids crushed under a tree and if not crushed then dead because of squeaking helplessly on the ground with water drowning them.
And all of this If it goes back at all..........
The climate which seemed so beautiful to me has such a monstrous side that I never ever could notice.
The fun,the pleasent weather that I was enjoying was the cause of floods at other's place.
The copulation that I was enjoying was destroying habitats,killing families,devouring lives.
How could I be so engrossed in my pleasures that I could never see the gory details etched otherwise.

Sadly,one last time I switch on the TV:
"Cyclone 'Phyan's course diverted from Mumbai,now heading towards Gujarat".

Does it matter anymore....

~Harsha

Should I stop asking...

2009-11-13T08:59:00.000-08:00

How much more pain would we succumb to hear the first voice of glory.

When to end is more important than to keep continuing.
This is one important thing that I have not known till now.

A blotch in a relationship can be overlooked or rather let the whole relationship be a blotch.

When the evasive dreams should be evaded to see them convert into reality.

Dark hues are a part and parcel of the life or they are just colors of one mind.

How dirty is really dirty.

Can a lie today be said to abstain from saying a bigger lie tommorow.

Can sex be considered god.Is sex before marriage right.

When would we stop being religious fools.

When would people stop infanticide.

When would the pedophiles rest.

When would we not throw rubble on another person because of how we see him than what he is.

When would I wake up and feel-Yes,this was something that I had waited for my whole life.

When would I stop being in a self dilemma when I refuse to give alms to beggers but later help them at an NGO.

When would I feel balanced.

When would I be able to give back to society what I have got and does that include the negativity too.

When would I be able to make my parents proud.

When would I stop asking questions...

P.S:Not putting a question mark may be grammatically incorrect but putting one would have been morally wrong.

~Harsha

where is the flow dude

2009-11-12T10:39:00.000-08:00

Inactivity is the crux of idleness or rather they are cyclic.
On a day when I can type a thousand mails have a hundred words and swear million swears,not writing doesnt sound right.
I should and must write cause it is something that gives me pleasure.
I don't want to sound utilitarian but still pleasure to mind is rather what keeps our mind healthy.
Wishing to be a great writer doesnt mean just seeing the great writer in you.
It also means bringing him out.
So, I must at least pen down at times or the passion myt be burnt somewhere.(Atleast that hasn't happened till now but who knows ).
One transformation I have noticed through these times of inactivity.
Initially the thing that very much kept me writing was accolades too.
May it be in any form:-comments,followers,mentions.
I know it is sad as well as bad.
But thankfully I have passed these phases,now I stand at a place where what matters to me is freeing myself and hence thats the reason I would write from now on.
i dunno whether I wud b writing things as polished as before but yes I would be writing.
Hey m relieved and yes I am :)
PS:-And yes there are special friends whose remembering me rekindles the fire.
U knw it ryt:)

~Harsha

drought

2009-10-07T16:01:00.000-07:00

My land so fallow

my heart so hollow

every year I look up

to find clouds,

come which never would

and then I turn around

to see

seeds I sowed

weeds I mowed

mouths I created

hopes I shattered

I have reached my limit

with the end of my wit

I have killed my desire

pushing my life to prespire

But not a tinge of green

not a drop of growth

not a drop of water

not a hope of life

Cant see the pain

my only bequeath

Cant feed my family

my only owning fully

I plan to die

to kill the rent

Before that,

I plan to cry

my one last try

So,I stretch my vocals

to curse the gods

But words too now

have just gone fallow

My land so fallow

my heart so hollow

-------------------------------------

A sad state of a farmer,who even after putting all his efforts can only plan the way of his death.

He is still thinking,better to die before the natural death,considering a suicide,being free from the landlord's rents,misery.Plotting to die so that he would not have to see himself and his family dying every single day because of the lack of food and life.Or rather waiting a little more to reach his natural death slowly

while death eats him.

------------------------------------

Sadly,still a large part of Indian farming is at the mercy of the eccentric erratic rains.

Written for 3ww-Fallow,limit,vocal

Image source

Yes,there shall be:)

2009-10-05T18:57:00.000-07:00

"and then at the end give us what we desire or deserved for

does he really give us that or do we belive that he has given us".

This thing has always eaten an important part of my mind.I don't believe in God.But all these years along I have been made to believe that whatever happens,happens for a reason,all happens for good.
CRAP....
What I have figured out is that finally we as human beings are quite jovial hopeful creatures.We tend to find happiness everywhere.So,after a long ardous struggle whatever we get we see it as too much and worthful.In short we adapt to it.Thats the naked truth.But the point is we are happy with this arrangement and it actually helps us out in these trying times.
And yes in happiness we seem as far more better beings,seemingly less irritated,less frustrated less complex.
2 things for this.
Firstly,this phase is our frustrated sad phase,we are less busy and see more of these things,these bad events,the sadness.
Might be you are true over here.

But,secondly this is the challenge.At times not so good.
Are we good!!!
I hope we all would be.
And I believe:
"There shall be showers of blessings..
this is the promise of love...."
Let's wait till then:)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In reply to a wonderful friend's thoughts in her blog collection of happiness.
We had quite a few series of bad events and some part of bad had rubbed my beautiful wonderful friend.
And then she asked,asked why all this and till when.
And this was what I said to her and have always felt.

~Harsha

Mahatma and me

2009-10-02T03:09:00.000-07:00

My son while I look at you from up down here

I see you running for what you dont know
I see you fighting for what you dont want
I see you crying for what you have not lost

I too was ambitious but not like you
I too was greedy but not like you

Ambition for me was to see my people free
Greed for me was to see the poor man's glee

You too are incredible,like everyone down there
But dont be incredulous for everyone down there

Have a wish,wish a hope
to believe the unbelievable
Have a want,want a desire
to touch the unattainable

I remember last time we had a fight
So ugly that I still want to rant
You laughed at my says
and I objected to your ways

But now I see the point
as its clear to you
We all want a world
with peace as in the woods

So you and me
lets sing a song
Yes you and me
lets plant a plant

A plant of humanity
A World of sanity

Lets all be together
Wish us luck
So that we,
can clean the muck

Let us all together be human
So that the next time
When I look at you from up down here
I would wish from the core of my heart
Not to call you here but to come down there...
---------------------------------------------------------------

Today being the birthday of Mahatma Gandhi,I tried to see the World from his eyes,while he addressing me for most of my questions as well as for my answers.
There is a clash of ideas that I have witnessed and tried to show but from a different viewpoint.

I always had ideological differences with his(Gandhiji's) views,views of non violence,his stand at the time of Bhagat Singh's case,when he could have fought a battle for their release,the way he treated his family,the lack of fatherly love that never ever he bestowed to his family.

Because of these the other great things that he did,the non violence,the Dandi March,Satyagraha also came in my mind's conflicting contemplation.
But deep down in my heart I know that in he lies a great human being and he would aways be respected by me for the humanity he always endrosed,cause he is the one who has shown hope not only to India but to the whole world,hope that Non Violence is more powerful than Violence.

P.S.-I donot believe in afterlife or presence of a higher being(GOD),and the fist sentence is written to show the contrasting time period and ideological change.

Written for 3WW-Ambitious,Incredible,Ugly

This wonderful image is taken from:Mahatma Gandhi in Type by Dencii @ Deviant Art.Visit his link to see more creative stuff she does.

~Harsha

wait-just wait

2009-09-27T07:36:00.000-07:00

At times it is great to wait.

Is it so.
I was and am confused.
Sometimes things turn sour and this happens when you want them extremely sweet,when you have expected a sugar syrup dipped in Jaggery with chocolate toppings.
Love has this strange habit.
Sometimes I think why to expect at the first place and then somehow I fight with myself and agree that expectation is a vice and I conquer it.
But what to do at times when things become bad for the silliest reasons.
I always say that big fights happen for the silliest reasons coz big issues are always visible and hence worked upon.
I agree that what happened today,is actually nothing happened.
What happened was because of neither of us.
But what happened has made both of us sad.
I always believe in talking and sorting things out.
I always believe in rights and wrongs.
I filthily become judgmental at times when I am supposed to be a patient listener.
The sense of right dominates my other senses.Although I am trying to balance the act.
Actually trying to understand what needs to be understood.
I know that this is no big issue and by tonight itself you would call me.
But this period has given me time to contemplate,to see through me,in me.
I know I can't always be right and actually shouldn't be.
If it was for me,I would have called you a thousand times and would have made you see my point,cause thats my way of me.
But now that when you ask me to wait,I abide and at times during the wait am again and again bitten by my guilt-the pangs of which are so big that again and again I think that why I din't listen even if it was for the so called right in my head.
Cause for being right at least I must have listened to the storms you were witnessing.
Today's happenings are not cause of me not listening neither cause of me expecting much but something smaller than everything that we aren't able to comprehend.
So,for today....

Today I would wait-just wait.

~Harsha

the weight of my tears

2009-09-16T14:14:00.000-07:00

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

The man behind the 3ww,(the prompt for which I wait with baited breath for all seven days,where I have met the most interesting writers)Thom G lost his father the past week.

My respect and sympathies for him.

Tc Thom.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

I turned back unable to control my tears.

I turned back not to let her know ever,

that even in this man there were traces,

traces scarred deep by the pangs of emotions,

portrayed by my sullen tears...

Grappled but not long enough to take my hanky out

Grappled but not long enough,not to let my tears pout

But the hanky was all thick

carrying signs of the passing time's wick

My past gloom,my past cries

My heart breaks and losses deep

All neatly cornered and beautifully creased

The hanky aged heavy unable to be creased

I searched it more

tried to hide like I always tried

in the days of yore

And then felt the drift

felt her hands in the mist

She looked straight through

And i knew it down true

Now a hanky won't be needed

and that was all that her eyes pleaded

Yes,now a hanky won't be needed

Written for 3ww-Hanky,Thick,Drift

~Harsha

I am sorry my baby

2009-09-02T03:42:00.000-07:00

A baby shrouded in a cloth

was a body cold in growth

life unhinged happiness dark

A void so big

could I fill it with

anything that wasnt filth

Stuck in a jaunt

A macabre of emotions

Played havoc

while I buried you

your body inches deep

How would I sleep not to find you in the morn

I wake with a daze with the LUSTER in your voice

You fade in a haze like amber in the blaze

I never knew

death could be so strong

I never thought

a THREAT could go so wrong

There is only one truth and that's you are not near

There is only one truth and that's you will never be here

The toys that I bought I have thrown them all

The cloths that I bought I have burnt them all

Time will move and grow you will

grow you will but not in your grave

but deep,deep down in my mind

I would see you play

see you sing and see you fight

I am searching for your GLARE

from deep down there

At least just stare

for my miniscule lack of care

But all I see

is a beautiful smile

all I see

is something that can now never be here

--------------------------------------------------------------

Sometimes we see things so sad so melancholy we wish that this would never have happened.

A few days back I came across the unfortunate demise of a baby hardly 4 months old.

~Harsha

CONSCIENCE

2009-08-31T19:10:00.000-07:00

Brood,you bitch

cry you bastard

for your sins

sins till life lasted

cause one day cause of you

your life would be christed

you thought you could run away

run away from what you do

run away from what you feel

Stop casting that hideous grin

Stop casting that clever gaze

I will kick your butt

and pinch your gut

while you try

try hard to run,to fly

but I would never stop being your ally

I will pull you from your darkest alley

to tell you

What you did

what you hid

to tell you

YOU ARE GUILTY

Ram's reality:Is it this what we really need to answer

2009-08-29T11:53:00.000-07:00

Was going through Jug's article.Is Ram really for real.
He explained the Ram Setu project.
The row over the ramifications if it is interferred with.
Now, what he did there was that he took a rational view rather than a religious one,as taken by the masses over here.
I would just like to reply dear Jug and dear India with my views:

Hi Jug,

Although I wasn't able to read all the comments,but I would say is that firstly this is an excellent article.
People should try to rationalise and understand the truth rather than raising useless issues.
Many of the people here are the ones who resort to riots and stuff rather than resorting to rational thinking.Ram can be and can't be.As far as I am concerned I feel its just an epic tale.
Other people surely believe differently but this belief shouldn't come as a hindurance for such developments.One day we call a crack in the bridge as Mother Mary's divine being.
Does it mean we would stop repairing the crack?
Moreover,others must take note that Jug is not trying to poke fun at Ram and moreover he is not an anti Hindu Demon that you have made.When you people say poke fun at Allah and Jesus it shows your even heightened narrow mindedness.

After going through the comments I feel that :

"Whether Ram setu was actually built by Ram" as a question has been dwarfed by my fear that
"are we really secular"?
Keep the good work going Jug.

---------------------------------------------------------------
*P.S.-Ram is one of the most sacred deities in Hindu religion.For enlightment on the same kindly check the below links.
Ramayana-Refrence from Wikepedia
Lord Rama-Refrence from Wikepedia

~Harsha

Be my enemy

2009-08-28T13:30:00.000-07:00

A rupture in trust can be mended
but a FRACTURE in deceit can never be

Saying a sorry wins back your friends
But even dying can't bring your enemies back

Dont think much before hurting a friend
But think a lot before befriending an enemy

Friends who VANISH once would knock again at their need
But an enemy lost would just be a NOISE

NOISE to deaf ears......

Written for 3ww-FRACTURE,NOISE,VANISH

~Harsha

What is growth?

2009-08-24T06:53:00.000-07:00

How do we rate things
is it by the achievements we have had
is it by the qualifications we have obtained
or is it by the medals we have won.......
Sadly,it is just what the other has done.
One day we might seem utterly satisfied by the results we have
but just the other day we find ourselves in a tizzy,in a whirlpool of emotional disturbances
only because your colleague or your next door neighbour has an ounce more than you.
When is this going to stop.
When realisation would stop from being comparative and be more (concentrative)/ of a private thing.
Sometimes it seems to me as if this would happen-never.
Or rather not atleast till we are alive.
But that's the whole eccentric point.
dude respect the privacy.
respect growth,your inner growth.

The limit to no limits.........

2009-08-24T06:50:00.000-07:00

When comes the limit to no limits...............................

Have I been in a quagmire or is it that the daze has woke me up with a start.
My heart still cries while my eyes fade into tears.tears so true as if unreal.
why did it happen.where did I fail.My words depth never lied to you nor to me.Not an iota of doubt ever creeped in me.Where darling then did I go wrong,WHERE.
Wasnt I there when you needed me the most,then why you left me when I yearned,when I was weak,shattered,WHY.
My soul is sucked but thanks to you Thanks to you darling that you gave me the best time of my life.
Now you will walk away like many did,happy to have your prince charming and adding to your long list of underachievable foolish lovers.You might smile someday when you think of me,you would still talk to me like that enigma of yours still drowns me.
FULLSTOP.
That doesnt happen anymore dear,goodbye,GOODBYE my lover.
Yes I waited till I could,but now its not my fault.
I waited till came the limit,the limit to no limits.....

And am so happy for the same.CAuse earlier the pedestal ended with you at the podium but now you just creep at the bottom of the altar,frail and yes am happy for it.Cause there are people worthier than you,dearer than you,who kissed me,cared for me,repected me,STOOD by me.

Thanks darling for teaching my worth,teaching your price,Move on darling like the way you helped me.
Know the limit to no limits..................................................

The day I lost my joB

2009-07-26T08:55:00.000-07:00

The day I lost my joB.
Feels as if it might sound sad,complex.
But the day it happened I felt as any other day cause it was something that not only me but my other 9999 colleauges had been anticipating.And I thought I wont feel bad as this happened not because I had screwed something up horribly but it was because my company's CEO had SCREWED everything.
"We all were but lambs in the flock,pebbles in the water heavy enough to have an identity but not heavy enough to stop being pushed by the river."
Somehow the initial phase got through.
Facing family,facing loved ones.facing neighbours,then the shopkeepers,then the distant relatives,the barber,the tea wallah,the landlord,the curious onlooker and finally facing myself.
But then somewhere its the toughest.
Knowing when you are all good but being in the few who got laid Off or rather FIRED.
I knew I would never feel bad or sad or torn or broken cause I knew it never was my fault.
But then the GLOOM came.It writhed,cried,shouted spread its shroud and came for me.It stuck my love first and then my friends and all those who were in this layoff wonderfully called as sabbatical.
I knew one day this would happen.One day all my loved ones,those who cared for me would be in shambles because of this situation.
But I knew I would fight all cause I had no choice of sitting and crying.There is this wonderful crux in life.You come out at your best after a head on collision.Sounds absurd but thats it.
I knew one thing that if there is anyone who would KNEEL,it would be life and not me,and I made it sure enough.
I called my friends who were in the same boat as me.And together we saw the new hope that seemed so clear,which was always there but never visible.
I had found a body to my dreams.Finally I could opt for higher studies that I had been waiting for so long.
There is this wonderful way of making ourselves happy.We say all happens for a reason,all happens for good.Although we just settle down with the newer things and console ourselves.But still it is essential as it keeps us the way we are,else we would have lost long back.
All is transparent now,specklessly transparent and I am here standing in arms,arms wide spread.
I have withered one more storm.Come life I am ready with my sword.
HIT ME

One last time

2009-07-23T23:05:00.000-07:00

Caught in a snare
Besides the cradle

Even being a rat
I writhed like a snake

Damn these humans
I knew so well
Damn their ways
which I had seen so well

my last escape had been so perfect
missing the snare by inches of neglect
I knew that I wont come back
I knew I wont let my greed attack

Oh these people
who are smart like hell
Oh my glutton
it overcame even death lull

Stupid stomach
see what you have done
Stupid brain
why din't you intervene

Bloody cheese
what makes you so wanted
Bloody cheese
what makes you enchanted

I forgot that I have a head to save
I forgot that there are things so strange
for which even the stomach should wait

But what can I do to cry for the past
I can just wait till my last breath lasts

Oh here he comes with a brick so big
In a few minutes I would be reduced to wick
I am closing my eyes with all my strength
Cause I just can't see him squashing my health

Hey whats happening
I still am safe
Hey the child is laughing
from the confines of the cradle

The man is watching at the child so pure
A smile is pouting at the man who had an evil galore

He is opening the snare for me
He is helping so that I be free

What a perfect escape
for my chance to run
I would never come back
for the greed so big

so off I go
with my saved head
so off I go
for a life so good

But hey let me just take the cheese
one last time
let me just take the cheese
one last time
--------------------------------------------------
Life is so analogus to this rat's tale.
We mostly mess up things by going the wrong ways,following vices,evils and end up at the wrong place.
But life gives us chances to come out of everything,to start afresh.
But as Captain Patch says:
"Habit is the second nature of man.
A dew rain drops,a few intimidations are enough for us to fall back and give in to those vices."
But thats where the test comes,to stay away from that enchanted block of cheese,to stay away from listening to the stomach.
Although sounds right and logical but as Max payne says:
"Logic IS the biggest liar".
I couldn't agree to him more.
So might be one last time....

Written for 3ww.The words being:Cradle,Perfect,Snare

~Harsha

Dilemma

2009-07-15T23:29:00.000-07:00

Sitting at the tip of my bed I couldn't do much rather than hearing to the perennenial onslaught of the daylong drizzle that had been reverbrating through the day.

Watching the rain drip through the windows, I turned back.

Turned back to be caught in her hypnotic gaze.A split second and I felt as if I was lost in her.

With riots playing havoc outside when she knocked at my door for safety I couldn't say no.

Now as we both were stranded in my house,I wasn't able to say much.

Wasn't able to quiet understand when the world was sulking over stupid matters of religious orthodoxy how could I be lost in a complete world of my own.

Finally tried to tell her what I had been feeling inside.

But no it wasn't the right time,as she was vulnerable today.The horrifying scenes of people trying to rape her were stilll fresh from yesterday.

I would surely say what I had kept inside me for years,but maybe someday when she would be angst free,free to laugh, free to follow her heart.

Someday when she would be in her full strength to contemplate rather than to hear with fear.

Till then I would just take care of her.

Written for 3ww -Drip,Hypnotic,Sulk

~Harsha

Homosexuality

2009-07-03T22:27:00.000-07:00

As the world witnessed
the fall of articles
the angst of religions
the collapse of narrow mindedness

We stood together
together in pain
together in love

The pain that I had to live
for the love so sweet
The answers that I had to give
for the questions so queer

Criminal I was called
for what I liked in my bed
Rebel i was labelled
for showing the love in my head

Am I questioned only because
our sex is same
Am I questioned only because
I am a One called a GAY

Is that a crime
to yearn for my love
Is that a crime
to marry one with feelings so same

Yes I couldnt love another girl
Like you all did
Yes I couldnt cheat another person
Like many of you did
My love was pure
And I was so sure

So we waited and waited
Till people serenaded
lovers eloped and hated
But we still waited and waited

To let my family know
that my love for you is real
To let my society feel
That my feelings are not surreal

We had to fight all dear
We stood death threats
We stood years of lockup
We stood the distance
We stood all

To stand to see the new day
To stand to see the new life

Dear,now all know
that our love is real
Now all know
That its not mad to love like this
Its not an illness to kiss like this

We needn't be ashamed
We needn't be labelled hideous
Coz now all know that our love is for real
Our love is for real

This weeks 3ww being-Collapse, Sweet, Yearn

Written keeping in view the change in Article 377 in INDIAN constitution.
Now Homosexuality is not considered as a crime as it was earlier labelled.
This one is for freedom of choice,freedom of not being booked for what you do in your bed,
freedom for not being punished for your sexual preferences.

~Harsha

Do I want to be happy or sad:) :(

2009-06-27T22:04:00.000-07:00

There are a lot many things that make you sad,
melancholy but at the same time there are thousands that make you happy wonderful
joyous.

You can feel sad for a lot many things you losing a job,your break up,misery of a friend,illness,world peace,politics imbroglio,terrorism downpour,u losing ur wallet,
missing the bus,not finding the pen.........

And feeling happy too is as easy.
It can be as simple a thing as the the young kid playing,the breeze blowing the rain pouring,the family talking,your love waving..............

The key here is to catch things that make you happy and concentrate on them rather then mourning on the sad ones.

I feel wonderful by blogging tooooooooo
so here I m making myself happy again rather than choosing to mourn over my losses.

Harsha
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
And yup joined technorati too to be more happy.A technical part;)
8g3rfx6ei7
--------------------------------------------------------------------------

memento

2009-06-13T00:16:00.000-07:00

A dangerous bond of
Self aroused interest
Candid smiles and chirpy frowns
Lost in you for days so long
You said U love
And I said I do

You showed me heaven
And heaven I saw
Together we entwined
We became one

A reason for my being
Came into being

But u cried and said
you had to go
I saw your face
With a restless pace
I saw you leave
But couldn’t let you go

The love and the feel
I will make it stay
Still feel your feel
Still cherish your smile
Our love will live
Yes in my womb it stands
All want it gone
But stay it will

In me you will stay
As my life at stake
As my love’s keepsake
Yes in me you will stay

The TIME has come

2009-06-06T17:28:00.000-07:00

Stateless expressions,logicless explanations.
These are my own ways for not writing,not talking,not shouting.
But there is something today that just wants me to write.
And that's the very same place which I left 6 months back.
For a new project,for a new opportunity for further movement.
But sometimes it feels as if we end at the same point,at square null.
I am again shot at point blank range with gargoyles of intermittent complexities.
Project is over now,company is in shambles now.
And now I see that there is some other thng that I want to follow.
Although it was damn clear,always crysal clear.
But now thw time has come to break the shackles of constraints,to break the shambles that blocked my moves.

Coz now the tym has come to a halt.
If only I clear these rigmaroles,then only I wud move.
Then only I will move.

Now,I have restructured my priorities,my goals,which always were there.
But now I have to move from where I started
from square null.....

~Harsha

LIBERATION

2009-05-19T20:30:00.000-07:00

Languidly she
Indulged in
Battle of hope
Ensued to
Restrain his
Atrocious ways
Turned into
Independence from
Official
Numbness

Marriage,one of the most respected institutions of our society.But what happens when this itself becomes a trauma,a pain,captivity.When the so called happiness itself becomes the cause of all worries.And then she tried,tried to fly,to live,to have a life and......

and she succeded.

I have tried to capture a wife's battle from the clutches of a devastated marriage,a torturing husband ,for her happiness,for her children,for her LIBERATION.

Acrostic Only Contest Entry

Love I will,yes I will

2009-05-07T07:41:00.000-07:00

This weeks 3ww being
Cryptic
malign
Flash

Of all the languages love is the most cryptic of all,coz I too am never able to understand my own heart.
I say so because I have fallen in love a number of times.
I too have felt betrayed a thousand times.
When,I fell,I felt lost,stabbed,kicked.
Felt broken..
And thought would never love again,even when SHE left me.
Felt that although she doesn't love me but I still do.
And even thinking about anyone else wud be an offense.
Felt that wud never love any1 else,wud never malign my heart...

Thought and thought...And then there was one flash...
And she was there.
She showed me care,like no one ever did.
She admired me,she caressed me,she stood by me,she believed in me.
She made me believe in myself.
She made me feel loved.
And then I loved,loved like I never had before.
Was pure,pious.

Now,I know a fall in the way doesn't mean the end of the road.
A fail in a day doesnt mean the end of the life.
What all I know is that I will be true,true to my soul,till I can be.
Rest is in her hands.Rest as they say is in her hands.
So,just keep loving and keep living.
The one who would love you would always be good than the one who left you.
Thats life and that's love.

~Harsha

Love you Sweetheart

2009-04-29T08:24:00.000-07:00

This weeks 3ww being

Opportunity
Quarrel
Service

Darling,
Although our service is at the same place,but I know that transfer of anyone of us is imminent.
I know we love each other but our quarrels are eating a substantial part of our loving.
Today I just missed the opportunity of sitting in the same bus as yours coz I was late...
And while sitting alone two drops of tears have rolled by,and I have known darling that what you are to me.What would happen,one day,if you really have to live in a different city...

Love you Sweetheart
Yours
Harsha

Opportunity -my last
Love - the only service
Quarrel - love 's realization

CONFINEMENT

2009-04-27T22:53:00.000-07:00

Captured for
Osculating in a
Nation where
Freedom
Itself was a
Never used
Entity
Meant
Eternal
Nativity bound to
Tenacious captivity

Written for the word CONFINEMENT
for the site

Acrostic Only

I have tried to capture the agony undergone by people stuck up in nations where free speech.equality,expression is all but a distant dream.
And how in such a country even a small gesture of love,such as kissing can lead to immense punishments such as CONFINEMENT.
My try at freedom

~HARSHA

I want to kill my daughter

2009-04-22T01:54:00.000-07:00

Don’t call it a deceit
No please no
Don’t call it a deceit
Call it my helplessness
Call it my fear
Call it my cowardice
But dear
Don’t call it a deceit

I too have shed tears
I too have undergone fears
I know darling what happens when pain sears
I know darling when hope tears

I too am the way like you WOULD be
I too am the way like you COULD be

Born to a household of six girls already
With one baby brother known as the king ready

Cursed I was,hit I was
even when
I neither knew the pain nor disdain
Bruised I was,pained I was
even then
I had to live with the scars within

Two square meals with burned bread and watery gravy
Seemed to me as my so called magnamimous luxury
Yes,to indulge in a play,Was a month of spanking
To indulge in brother’s toys,Was the whole family’s cursing
I too learned my way to live life happy
to keep my mouth shut and eat what was crappy
Brothers touched me,uncles molested me
Grandma hated me,aunts despised me
To indulge in me was everyone's desire
But what happened to me was not at all dire

Darling I was married for loads of heavy dowry
Darling I was married for your father's whole family
FATHER
I dont know whom to call your father
Is it my husband or his so called father

And now I am told you are about to come
And now I am told my fairy will breath in scum

But my princess there is an oath I have
Oath to love and oath to live
Oath to save my fairy from the same

I thought so hard to run from here
I tried so hard to take you there
Where you would be a princess
and eat whole food
Where you would be a princess
and play good games
But darling I was caught and beat to death
But darling even then I fought with all my strength

But dear I am sorry
I couldn't keep my oath
But oath I would keep
To save you from their keep
Princess you have to go
But dont be afraid
I will save you from a life.....for a better life
I will take your life.....to give you a better life

You know am crying
You know I am sorry
But yes I am happy
Don’t call it a deceit
No please no
Don’t call it a deceit

This weeks 3ww being-Deceit,Indulge,Oath

And also in response to a wonderful photo on

every photo tells a story

~HARSHA

OPPORTUNITY

2009-04-21T03:14:00.000-07:00

Came through a wonderful site which had acrostic poetry.
the word is OPPORTUNITY.
Its a mnemonic poem.Here it goes:

Osculation was the start which
Prodded her vanity
Pulled her dignity
Ostracied her from society
Rumours floated afresh
Tart she was called
Until she saw him stalled
Not a sign of regret
Inches from her but still the same
Trying to find a new victim of rape
Yearning for a new OPPORTUNITY

Written by the word OPPORTUNITY from the site

Acrostic Only

Tried to convey the difference of treatment between a rapist and a victim.
At one side the women(victim) is looked down.
whereas the rapist roams freely.

~Harsha

Is this love dat seems to stay

2009-04-20T23:58:00.000-07:00

Is this love dat seems to stay
or would you kick me out of your way
like others
like others
I have fallen down before
on my knees like a dumb man sore

i can cry and will only cry
O' please dont you even try to BE Sly

I will give you everything

I have eyes that have been crying
I have a soul thats deep down bleeding

you can see my torn down heart
waving hands in my blood stained shirt
I have called you love before
And I have been stung by love before

A lot of try and after a lot of heart
I again assauged the courage to call you my sweetheart

O' please dont make me feel like a second fiddle
O' please dont make your feelings for me chimerical
O' please dont make this relation ephemeral

I dont want it to be a frisson
Coz my love is not an abrasion

It was under your aegis
That I smiled back
It was under your aegis
That i lived life back

But now you tell me that although you love me
there are things reserved but not for me
But now you tell me that although you love me
there are feelings reserved but not for me

you have loved some one so hard I understand
Coz all have pasts that I too had

But my love for you was not a cost of the so called past
Then why you even today put him a step above making me the last

Why the loves confessions that you sang to him
end up as a melancholy refrain for me
Why the 'I love you' time and again for him
end up as a desserted echoing tunnel for me

Tell me dear did I ever put you second
Tell me dear Did I even in my dreams gave you lesser importance
Tell me dear Did you even feel that somewhere I lacked substance
Tell me dear did I ever stifle my feelings where you were concerned

There is only one thing that I can say
i can cry and will only cry

I cant come and slap you like others
I cant come and fight with you like others

I cant muddle your name
Else I too would be a cheap jerk same

I can do only thing dear
And thats cry and cry every single tear
Please dont leave me dear
Coz I can cry and only cry

~Harsha

WHAT WOULD YOU DO

2009-04-20T03:16:00.000-07:00

My try with some eerines.A confusing question.

Allure,perch and vivid being
this week's 3WW

There has been this question that has banged my head a thousand times.

A condition so vivid and yet its allure so lively.
One that would even pull the most logical thinkers out of their perch.

Just imagine this,its 11:30 in the night.You are staying,far away from your home in a different city for the course of a job.
You are out on the roadside talking to a friend of yours on your cellphone.
And since its late,there is no one on the road.Finally after a long talk you bid adieu to your friend.
Even after putting the phone down you are still in his thoughts,contemplating about what you talked.

You know you have strolled far enough as there aint much buildings here.
You start walking back home,quickly with short spanned steps still enjoying the wonderful climate.
There is the vast highwayside road dimly lit by the moonlight and the orange tinted lampposts.And in between you can clearly listen to the spooky wind blowing by eerily as any set of buildings is a bit far away.

And suddenly by the road side you see your mom standing and calling you,hysterically,waving and calling back…

WHAT WOULD YOU DO???

Coz of all the people this is your mom,atleast the only figure you can never ever relate to ghosts or any such things.

And you also know that in no way your mom can come here as you talked to her in the evening.She is safe and sound at your home some thousands of kms away.

Just tellme what would you do…

HARSHA

Life-The BIGGEST Flirt

2009-04-08T07:38:00.000-07:00

This week's 3WW

The words being
Flirt
Ploy
Stunning

Life is the biggest Flirt
Flirt she is and flirt she does

She ditches you first and then stitches your pain
She loves you first and then kicks your ass
She makes you stand and then chops your legs
She walks with you and stabs your back

Oh what a ploy it plays
Oh what a mind it has

She brings you,in your prime
And makes you,to commit a crime
A crime so grave you thought was your end
And then a day comes,when you feel you ain’t dead

You brave the dead,your so called end
You are the one now whom others dread

Stunning is the win and stunning is the glory
Stunning is her look and stunning is the story

You are happy now and jump with joy
while she Executes her plan with a stunning aplomb
And then you realise there is no land ahoy
You writhe in pain and wriggle so hard
But all she says is to try,and try real hard

you keep on cursing
and keep on pursing

But have you ever seen

How far you have come
from being called a fool

How far you have come
from stopping others rule

How much you have learnt
the life's lessons by heart

Stunning was the ploy
that made you learn
Stunning was the ploy
that made you yearn

And all has happened coz life is a flirt
And all has happened coz life is a flirt

HARSHA

FEED ME

2009-04-05T01:09:00.000-07:00

A wonderful painting by
James Parker
pulled me to write this on
Every Photo tells a story

You would want to
Feed me when I am hungry
You would want to
Feed me when i CRY
You would want to
Feed me when I am sad and wry

But feed me only when
When I do not have the power to fly
feed me only when
When I am not worthy enough to try
feed me only when
When my wings are shrivelled and pain is my only ally

Coz if you feed me taking pity
if you feed me showing sympathy
if you feed me coz you love me like a deity

Then you are NOT feeding me but POISONING me

Coz quenching my hunger now
would fuel my glutton later
Coz stopping my crying now
would trigger my nagging later
Coz abating my sadness now
would quill my irritation later

Let me try
and let me fly
Let me stand
and let me run

And If I fail
I know you are there
And if I fall
I know you are there

Feed me then
and show me care
Feed me then
Coz I know den you are there
Coz I know den you are there

HARSHA

SAGA of an “INTENSE” lover

2009-04-02T06:50:00.000-07:00

Again one more outing for 3ww.
The words are
CRUSH
KNACK
VARIED
Tried my hand at humour

hey here she comes
Hold your breath man
see the way she turns

hey here she smiles
Stop your work man
look at the way she blinks

hey those eyes
ask me would you kill me
or should I die

I saw you by the road
felt like a new abode

Wanted to marry you right there then
Wanted to call you love's lost incarnation

People said foolish man
You seem to have lost your marbles
She is just a crush that you fathom
Like for every other girl who seems a bit glam

but I said NO
said,Foolish you go
Or will call you a crow
Coz I love her
and thats one thing I know

Made plans to amaze her
threw surreptitious glances and waved her
She seemed to look away
might it be that yes was something she had to say

Made plans to amuse her
cracked japes to bring her laughter
She tried to act as if I was a joker and dint stay
might it be that she felt love was the only way

I knew I had the knack
I knew she won't turn her back
Although her mind seemed varied
I believed one day I would have her tarried

Wore a good dress with flowers in my hand
the suit that I wore complemented her wonderful arm band
In all my mind and a poetic stand
recited a couplet and asked her hand

Hand she gave but not in my hand
A slap so hard made my cheek dark red
Oops I said and walked past hard

Crushed was my heart and
Crushed was my love
There WAS my crush
who left me in a crush

Knack I thought
which I have had
but after this bout
only the pain varied

Sad I was
and sat by the road
Sad I was
and thought not to find abode

But,hey who is on the road
with the wonderful eyes
But,hey who is on the road
with that wonderful smile

Knack is there but needs to be polished
Crush is there who seems so varied
Love will stand where the crush is standing
Hey you beauty wait I am coming

HARSHA

KNACK of surviving a VARIED CRUSH

2009-04-01T03:22:00.000-07:00

This week's 3ww's words are
CRUSH
KNACK
VARIED
I tried to write an incident this time:D

Like most of the days I was late again for office seeing my regular bus zoom by.

Was already lethargically burnt out by yesterday’s depressing work.
Was more angry as I could see my crush sitting by the window,with her elegant hair flowing by,smiling at me.

Man,had a wonderful chance of sitting next to her but now she is gone.Damn,the bus.
All other buses would be now completely full as it would be office time.Damn,the distance.
Today was also the bloody deadline of my project, the knack of which was so varied, seeing which, even Einstein would scratch his head.
Awww,why did I choose this job far away from home eating daily this bullshit crap that others call a delicacy.

S**t,what an irritating day it was going to be.
And over all this,the burning heat that made me feel like standing in an inferno.

After a long hiatus a bus came,I too crushed myself in,with the standing crush and they as if ready to crush me.
With sweat taking a toll on my clothes,and varied footfalls that made a covering on my eloquently polished shoes,I must surely say that yes, I was not at all happy.

And then the bus came to a screeching halt at a stop.

And there entered a man,literally trailing in the bus,seemed as if he knew the knack of going through even the toughest corners.
He came and stood next to me,smiling.

And then I noticed that he was blind,plain blind not even able to see the man standing next to him,but still smiling.

And here I was, with all my senses cozily in place but I was whining,complaining and that too by the jittery small things of life which this gentleman cant even savour.
And when I got irritated by the varied crowd running by,bored by the monotony he would be lost in this wonderful splash of colours .
When I would abuse the rock that I unknowingly hit,he won’t be even having an inkling that what danger stood in front of him.
He would be ready to give everything in return of this set of eyes which I never respected but just continued whining,abusing,shouting.
But still he even without all this,he yes he was the one who was smiling and not me.
And I was the one complaining as always.

And then the world seemed to open up in front of me,and then I understood that amid the worldly crush even without the slightest knack I could sail through the varied phase only if I was happy,only if I wished.

Yes only if I wished.

AND then I SMILED.

HARSHA

In the mind of a dyslexic

2009-03-31T07:23:00.000-07:00

Inspired by the movie:Taarein Zameen Par,which showed us through the mind of a dyslexia afeected child,his pain.......

And hence,
In the mind of a dyslexic

Hey why you laugh and why you jeer
coz I too try and dats i swear

Hey is it 'this' or is it 'shit'
how do I differentiate between a 9(nine) or a 6(six)

The words ummm
they seem like drops of dew
numbers hmmmmm
they make me visit the blues

Is it really so hard,is all I wonder
When Tom stands 1st
and Ramu steals the thunder

Mam dont use the cane
OUCH it hurts and pains my vein
Mam dont throw me out
PLEEEASE coz I am short of a shout

Mom I try so hard
Dad I am not a retard
I study all day but cant put it right
I have stooped to play guessing its the only way

Mom I have some problem
Please see to it
Dad I am not a problem
please try to know it

Hey why you laugh and why you jeer
coz I too try and dats i swear

HARSHA

POWER-the other side

2009-03-26T05:14:00.000-07:00

In respone to a photo on

Every Photo tells a Story

A man has the power
to sow the seeds of his destiny
A man has the power
to build the road to money
A man has the power
to find his wings of creativity
A man has the power
to prove his claims' veracity

But when I used my power
I touched women's modesty
But when I used my power
I hurt my loved ones frugality
But when I used my power
I shattered sincere religious custody
But when I used my power
I scarred divine sanctity
But when I used my power
I sniffed on cocaine and ecstasy

And then I saw
The fallacies I commited
And then I felt
the sadness I exubered
Felt guilty of my sins
saw pain that I inflicted

And then my conscience hit me
My misdeeds enamored me
And then I took a decision
Got my power's confrontation
A power that I had
But always used it in the
in the wrong direction

And then I tore my arm
that hit my soul
And then I bore my marks
by the pain so pure

I know my arm will grow back
If I mend my ways
I know my arm will grow back
If I make things right
I know my arm will grow back
yes,it will

HARSHA

my EARNEST REACTIVE LAYER

2009-03-26T00:35:00.000-07:00

This is in response to an interesting site
3WW(3 Word Wednesday)
,where you concoct something using 3 words
The 3 words are:
Earnest
Layer
Reactive

Earnest I was
Yes for you I was
coz
Earnestly I waited
With a baited breath
I waited

A waiting so long
Of love so strong
pious to the core
red, red enough to sore

Then the day you smiled
the day you obliged
My heart was a slave
A bird out of cage

I saw it as an earnest
of a love out of the closet
I knew no bounds
My heart doing rounds

And slowly you showed your colors
Like a snake faking vermillion flowers
You said I wasn't smart
You said I called you a tart

But how could I
When every layer of mine
was bloody yours
How could I
when every breath of mine
was only yours

And then you said no
Layer by layer you broke the bow
You shattered my layer
Of love so deep
you slaughtered my layer
with your feelings so cheap

You called me reactive
and react I did
I cried my heart
and consoled my soul

And then I saw
How sorry I was
And then I knew
Yes reactive I was
like fuel and air

How couldn't I see
Your love for adam
our institute's cynosure
How couldn't I see
Your pronounced acclaim
A thing which was for sure

Girl you should have told before
before my earnest galore
Girl you should have told before
before tearing my only layer
Girl you should have told before
before I turned reactive

Girl you should have told before
Atleast long long before
Before shattering
my EARNEST REACTIVE LAYER

HARSHA

Knock knock Mr Gabriel

2009-03-25T00:32:00.000-07:00

Saw a wonderful photograph of Gabriel the angel(Might be) on

every photo tells a story

And then this was the effect that it had on me:D

Knock knock
Knock knock Mr Gabriel
Coz I am here
Knock Knock Mr Gabriel
And steer me through the worldly drear

OOps I forgot my dossier
But I guess your book would show all that I bear
OOps I forgot my wallet
But I guess you are hiding enough for a show of ballet
Oops I left my friends
But I guess those drifting behind would love my friends views
Oops I forgot my enemies
But now you say that never matters

I wasnt much happy when I came here
But your spiked hair has brought some cheer
I was pained when leaving loved ones
But your presence brings a whole new assurances
I was pained when I failed in my class
But now your smile tells me that it was but a bucket of rocks

I thought her leaving me was the end
That wasn't
I thought then might be losing an arm was the end
That wasn't
I thought then may be being fired was the end
That wasn't
I thought atleast seeing loved ones die was the end
Till I saw the end
An end so beautiful
that seemed as a begining

I am happy Mr Gabriel
Coz I know now the end is here
And with the sea at your back
I know this end is the begining
A begining of one more end of mine

Knock knock Mr Gabriel
And let me in
Knock knock Mr Gabriel
And steer me through the worldly drear

HARSHA

ENVY

2009-03-23T23:40:00.000-07:00

Just saw this photo of kitchen drama on every photo tells a story THE PHOTO

How a child feels when he sees his love share being divided with his sibling

There is my mother
and there is my brother
I love my mother
and I love my brother

Brother now cries
mother please make some fries
Coz I am hungry
after hitting a sundry

You loved me so much
you hugged me with a wonderful touch
With my bit of things to munch
washing me keeping away the stench

But now only I love you
Coz he is the one whom you love
and now I only want you
coz he is the one whom you want

Now I will drench the cat
To make you listen
and I will shoot little brother
To make you know
That I too am hungry
of love like my brother

But I still love you
The way I love my brother
So I will shoot little brother
with my toy water shooter
I will drench the cat
with water in the pitcher

Mom please make some fries
coz I am hungry
like sweet little brother

HARSHA

walking in unison

2009-03-23T06:38:00.000-07:00

Inspired by a photo of men in uniform walking together from
the blog every photo tells a story

Walking in unison
we have always been told

Walkin in unison
is one good reason for sure

walkin in unison
keeps friends together

walkin in unison
keeps distances at bay

But even today we are toghether
Walkin tall taller than ever
Steps together having enormous power
can break bridges with the slightest resonating fervor

But are we really together
slaughtering children who cant even shiver
are we really together
raping women at their slightest flutter
are we really together
breaking houses without the slightest tremor

Finding osamas in innocennt smiles
Being bushe's with arms held high
just need a reason to break our patience
just need a reason to try our cartridges
my gun is happy
happy as I am
coz i am the way as i am
happy as always
walking in unison

ARE WE REALLY together
is one thing thats queer
Are we really together
with no peace near
ARE WE REALLY together???
walking in unison

HARSHA

AWAKENING

2009-03-22T01:04:00.000-07:00

Was inspired by the photo of a young girl looking out of window at the blogevery photo tells a story

And I also believe it to be a part of a celebration(FOR ME) ,coz I found some part of truth,the reality.
Hence would like to add it to
sunday scribblings

#157-Celebrate

There is a window in my head
Yes,there is one deep down within
Coz i have made walls that are strong indeed
Coz i have my views powerful within
that voice my thoughts and say yes every time

Saw A man yesterday
wen gave a visitin to a temple as any other day

Have never believed god,never loved religion
Only thought that humanity is wat is needed
friendship is sumthin that keeps me serenaded

had a bunch of thoughts like the arrows in my queer
aimed relentlessly ,commented sarcastically
with anyone who even slightly tried to steer'

Fool I thought those who dint agree
with the views I had and the ideas that waded
Thought I was always right with my thinkin bright
Was encumbered by my view of world

Talked of helping talked of lending

Criticised politicians but never practised voting
Talked of helping old but never did any serving
Talked of uplifting children but never did any teaching
Talked a lot and talked a lot
and the only thing that i ever did was TALKING

And as i said before saw a man the other day
looked rich not even slightest sign of the scintillia poor
had got off from a car that boasted of a wide camradiere

Came to the steps and did something damn peculiar
Sat there with arms folded and opened shoes of people who serenaded
Found this strange found this stupid coz i was but stuck in my walls
looked at people through the only window that I had constructed
Coz was drowned in the views that I had myself enunciated

Came up laughed at his foolishness
Thought about the World's inadequacy
Felt that he was wasting his services
HE was wasting his time
for something that wud never do good to himself
nor to the worldpeace and nor any community

Coz I was but conditioned by my superrich ideology
Coz I was blinded by my perfect ideality
And then she told me
asked me the reason of my laugh
asked me the point of sarcasm
And then she told me to look

And peek I did
Peeked out of my walls
peeked through the window
which was dust ridden and dormant

And then I learnt to respect
Respect other people
the practises they did
the god they followed
although it seemed baseless
although it seemed useless but yes for someone it was the only thing

I was questioned by her
and for every question
the only answere that i uterred was but a silent drop of tear

Did I ever help anyone???
I said yes whenever i got a chance

Did I ever went out of the way to do so???
I said yes I have paid cash

Did I ever stand up for blind men???
I said yes I made them cross roads

Did I ever help old men???
I said yes I gave them place to sit in the bus

Were these the only things that I ever did
And then she said me
That my dear
The things you do any normal being would do
But when you talk so high
do you really rally the thoughts so high
and then i got the point

The point taht was blocked by my 4 walls
Looked through the window and looked back at the man
And then I thought yes
he too would be doing all that I was doing
he too wud be practising all
But he was oing one thing more
and that he was cleanin his self
and that he was cleaning his self

I still dont know whwther its right or wrong
I still dont know whether its useful enough
But there is 1 thing that I now know for sure
And that its his thing and I am no1 to jeer
Coz he aint harmin any one just doin plain things dear

Now i know thar all have a window and all have 4 walls
I have found my window and replastered my walls
Coz there is a big truth that still needs to be learnt
Coz there is a big truth that still needs to be learnt
Come peek thru the windows and respect other's walls
Widen your window and narrow your walls

HARSHA

Penance

2009-03-09T06:26:00.000-07:00

Do I want to shout
or do I want to cry
I want to fly or
Is that I want to die

Things got through,people were few
Life was lived and days got passed
Anger came where happiness prevailed
Love was shot straight in the head

Friends mistook me
Family misunderstood me
Strangers despised me
Relatives hated me

Surrenderd joviality
Rendered anonymity
Harboured negativity
Understood mortality

Was lone distraught
Eyes closed and ears deaf
Dumb I was or silent was my speech
Kissed placidity and cried so hard
We all fought gushing blood

And then I felt washed
Washed by my tears
Washed by my sins
Wsahed by my fears
Conscience called me and shook my head
Kicked my butt and gave a wide stare

And then I thought,man it was just me
Hey it was just me
Yes lost I was
"No doubt"
Yes wrong I was
"No doubt"
Yes A fool I was
"No doubt"
But hey,It was me,after all me

So,I came to terms
with world at the ends
And my wit as my only pretext
Saw the truth
which was always there
Love was there which I never cared
Yes I was shunned
Yes I was hated
But all for my own good
All for my own good

Now I know who I am
Yes I will rise
Like the phoenix from the ashes
Like the butterfly from the mothball
Like the man from the asylum
Like the criminal from the lockup

Yes,I will break my beak
and pluck my feathers
like the eagle to gain victory
I will clean my sins
and repent for my crimes
like the man who won't be History

Cause there is only one
who can make things right
There is only one who can
put efforts bright
And hey I have to rise
Cause this my world
and this my life

Hey I have to rise
and rise I will............

HARSHA

And when d gazelle grazed

2009-02-23T04:28:00.000-08:00

And when d gazelle grazed
in the end of the moonlit course
where the fauna flew high
under the orchid moon
beneath the tinkle of the rainbow
at d tip of a serpentine road
with twinkling stars
and tranquil flowing water
and dere wid d hush of d stars
i can see you
wid dose gleaming eyes
glistening in d dark
waiting 4 me wid arms ajar
wz thnkng sumthng where i saw u,
tht 2 tell u d same,
tht 2 make u feel the same,

Was it a second’s feeling
Or was it an eternity’s wait
All I know was that it was none but you
Have met u before and know I would meet you again
But have always felt, that this is not today we met
Its not before 6 months we met
But it has been ages since I know you
It was not in this world
But a thousand incarnations back
Coz all I remember is but you
Coz all I remember is just plain you

Now you are not here
Here with me
But all I know is one thing
All I know is you
Fresh in my memory like the morning dew
I still can feel you, hold you

Cause your place is but with me
Come in to my arms cause I can still see you
Come just as you were
And let us be one

The way we always were

Together in this moonlit night

when the gazelle grazed

cause I can see none but you

only you....

Harsha