you there

dabble, lean, utter


Deep within this shit,I thought that there would be hope.
I thought that tomorrow when the sun would set I would rise
Rise again with the rising sun
I would dabble with affairs that I had lost 
Lost in deep affirmative sorrows
My body agreed to lean on the shoulders of my hope
And hope agreed not to utter what was known
All my life I turned out to be a man 
who with time agreed not to be a man
A man when it was needed the most
A soul which pleaded most
Like a ghoul over the window
like a spectre over the sheet
like that aching beat
that guttural sounds,that muffled shrieks
That I had tried to suffocate,to annex
all but in vain
was but a stain
of a past that I could neither remember nor forget
A wish that I could neither desire
nor destroy
cause all that had been left in me was a man 
but yet not a man