Monday, December 19, 2011

Bowen Mccoy

Image source- Lelia(click on the caption to check artist's work)

On a  hill so high
Bowen Mccoy stood as small as a  fly

Plight of a sadhu or fight of a man
Life of a being or death of his mind

Years of planning and days of rigor
Made him ready with power and vigor

Should I carry him down
and let the sadhu take my crown
Should I reach the top
and 'maybe' leaving sadhu's life to a stop

I maybe wrong or maybe I am wrong
My heart will frown or my mind gets strong

"I think"
I will follow my aim
by climbing the peak
I will follow my heart
by leaving him with options not so bleak

I reach the top and scale the spot
but conscience asks me is the sadhu alright

On a  hill so high
Bowen Mccoy stood as small as a  fly

For insights on this poem it is highly recommended to go through
The parable of the sadhu(

It talks about the dilemma of Bowen Mccoy who while scaling the peak of a hill top comes across an ailing almost dead sadhu. The question that looms in front of him is to whether carry the sadhu back to the base camp or continue with his journey.Bowen leaves the sadhu with another group of trekkers to move forward.But the question keeps on haunting him. A management question torn between ethics and goals.
And more so what we, I as human being constantly face, the battle of the heart and mind.


Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Arjuna's penance

Was standing there,in the midst of Mahabalipuram.
Had went in search for a happy lunch,a sudden hitch to settle my poor enunciated emancipated body.

And there in all its glory,two words were all I could see.

"Arjuna's penance."
or was it - Random shit.

Suddenly, images came to me when after one of his battles Arjuna would have come and think.
After even talking to Krishna,even after agreement that Kauravas were sinners and he had to behead them,even after that he would come back and talk to himself.Say sorry to himself for killing his brothers.
After mustering the courage,entering Yudhisthara's bedroom to choose his karma over the respect of his brother and brother's wife(at that time),even after choosing what is right,he would come back and think in his penance.

A figure so big as Arjuna himself too had his penance,his moments of glory,his tears of remorse.

And I me myself,all 3 of us still unaware of weaknesses.
Still, very much involved in life's glory but never ever retrospecting what went wrong always.
Why the same mistake's have been killing me since ages.
The recipe of success which I drank once has become elusive.

Need to slow down a bit.I know I can't slowdown this world.
It would be a rat race.
Maybe I better slow down to understand myself.
Anyways this race is not about others,the world but for me.

As a friend of mine,Samir and maybe his friend has rightly said-
"the trouble in the rat race is dat.. even if u win.. ur still a rat..."

This week's 3ww being hitch,drank,muster

Between I just crossed my 100 posts(This is 101th post : )

Friday, October 14, 2011

moment of truth

Image Courtsey-The_Rooftop_Confrontation_by_Zinfer
Do you really know how it feels all the time.
Why am I so much at odds with myself. I know the truth that others don't know...about me.

I am a big time coward.

It won't be even noticed by others,I either play this game with extreme perfection or my so called luck has been so exorbitantly placed that the slickness makes people believe that I am a confidence powerhouse.But even then I should get caught.It is difficult to be admired at times.
Sometimes I believe the sooner the better.
The way I operate is nothing but my self handicap mechanism.
 I talk a lot about new opportunities, taking part in initiatives,portraying myself,doing discussions but just when the point comes I think I turn cold.
Cold like a frozen fish,not stale but even then lifeless.
After that whatever I do, dubiously push me into havens I don't want to tread.
Piece by piece I peel myself but still no one sees it.

Till when is the question.
Bigger questions still stand.Some of them are sad revelations.There was a time when I had the gift of gab driven  by a strong persuasive force.Those were the times when I could make you agree on anything with my powerful points.Of late the debater in me has taken a run for his life.I now start but the moment point trickle I take a stand.

The stand now being- not to think neither to argue.
I will take everything you give.Now I don't debate.Only the gift of gab remains.

It is as if these thoughts have no base.There is no thought process to follow.

This whole introspection was there always but it has been staring at my face since yesterday.
Yesterday I met Samir after ages.Samir my would be co author if ever we write something.

We both were discussing and shooting down ideas for a book which someday we would produce.I was explaining him why certain things won't work compared to the different genres present.

He told me one thing-That I (Harsha) was a guy who gets easily influenced by others always.

The discussion is still there but this thought kept on lingering.
I have been looking back on these issue since then again and again.
Questions are hard to answer.It actually matters from which side of the table I am looking at.

But,then the view remains the same.

This week's 3ww being admire,follow,piece

Sunday, October 2, 2011

the thin line

Image credit:Mindsurfing on a thin line... by ~dominododo
Have I forgotten the thin line.
The thin line's flailing omnipresence,
The thin line's meteoric rise,
The thin line's benign malice,
How can I ignore the conquest i had over that thin line.

Before we all slumber out over this issue I believe it is an important to reveal what "the thin line"is .

I call the thin line as the transition line.The border that contains borders.
It is not too big for anything neither too small.

Sounds melancholic yet pensive.

Let me put it this way. Eons ago I realized one thing.
It is always not needed to pretend.
It is always not needed to press your self for things you want to morph into.
It is all in the mind and once you achieve that supreme mind morph things would be easy.

Have you ever tried swimming.
How insanely difficult it has been.I for one never understood the way it worked.
Keep your head over the water, take a deep breath, move your hands in unison with your body.
By the time it ended my whole body just pained,until one day when I was just drifting with the flow.

No efforts needed, no muscle twitched all just plain pleasure.
That was exactly the day when I crossed the thin line.

After many days this thin line surfaced again just because I was looking at the pics of some healthy guy,healthier and at par with me.
There was no struggle to conceal the plumpness, no pain,no disdain just pure acceptance and I believe now he was looking at his best.The best he could have looked in ages.
The best he could ever give.

Why,only because he was not struggling anymore.
He was not gnawing himself anymore,it was like as if he was swimming without the effort to swim.

And one day when we all realize the thin line and work in ways such that the thin line doesn't matter to us,the day when pretense is being knocked by omnipresence.
That day I promise the deliveries would be smooth,you yourself would be less hostile to your OWN self.
And that day whatever steps we take towards achieving that perfection,maybe that desired body,that coveted job,that deep profile anything would be possible.


Friday, September 9, 2011

Investment analysis-A panacea to my woes

Long nights make me happy.
Shorter days make me even more happier.
But today's day had been long,maybe too long.
I just remembered that again cause I saw Anirudh deeply camped in Pratik's room and studying, also for a CFA course at this time of the long night.Pratik was shamelessly copying the eternal QM presentation or washe doing.Well,I found it better not to question them and left back for my room.

Yes,the day was long.
It could have reasoned and waned out like any other small day but then there was THE investment class.
Extremely thought provoking,grossly enriching........should have been the words I yearn to attach with this class.
Well, without doubts it surely was considering the extra miles the prof has been walking,waking and coaxing us to move out or move in.Actually,I don't really remember now after his numerous -"You not interested,pre reads exist,go wash your face" lines.
One thing that happened good was the social networking I did.It has really been years after I really messaged someone.And when I realised this in the midst of the class, I also realised that the whole list in my phone's contacts has never been touched since I have joined this MBA class.It is only my girlfriend and me who exchange messages.
So,with this newly found renaissance I set on a mission.
A mission to send personalised messages to all of them.During the process I also realised that many numbers had become extinct now and many of my friends would have been feeling as if their prehistoric friend has finally arisen to text them.
Oh,yes and the class was still going.Infact he is one of the best profs I would come across.
Still I managed this because 3 terms teach you how to text like hell and at the same time maintain einstein's unflinching interested expression.

After finishing major texting I realised that there was still time left.The class had not devoured the stipulated 3 hour 15 minutes assigned to it.
I once again stood like the mindless numb staring at people asking brilliant questions and the prof entertaining with the most stimulating insights which later zombified into breath taking(pun intended) discussions.
Somebody not agreeing at all.Of late I have been seeing in all choice based questions in a show of hands a clear demarcation of yes and no.2 for yes,7 for no and the remaining 130 poor creatures who could not decide what conspiracy the world is upto and hence not able to raise hands in either of the choices.
But the flavour of the season had been-None of the above which explained why without knowing a single word ,sometimes I reigned supreme,in my eyes atleast.
Today was no different.
Then don't know why,looking at the enthusiasm I felt bad,bad at me wasting myself.
Straddled in one of the most prestigious and costliest courses India could give and still wasting my time in mindless messaging.
What would be my upgraded version when I leave this place after one year.
I clearly was not studying but also not feeling bad,infact not feeling anything regarding this.
Might be because some people have put in my mind that all this would never be asked,some have told that placements don't even ask for your marks,some have driven down the fact that whatever you do in your life you would only get an IT job.
And hence no studies.
But then this has happened earlier.
Before my CAT days,I had stopped believing that I could do something,that time the reasons were different in themselves but still the same as of now.
It din't take me much time that the competition giving cat had either been from the best schools,best engineering colleges,were into jobs or had magnificent extra currics which meant state level wins.
I was in a school which itself was decent in the city but my marks discounted me from any merit I could associate with that association.Infact I wonder whether the school has blacklisted me from their alumni list after the dizzying bottoms I had brought their disciplined academic records to by my on the border marks in Phy Chem and maths.
College was so reputed that even the grocery store owner next to our college would never know about it.
Job-I was unaware of such terms.
But I hoped to qualify directly into IIMs.
With much hope I cracked the cat my first attempt with a marvelous score.
Actually it took me few days to tell myself that a score of 29 percentile is marvelous only from the last and even a school going boy would get more if he doesn't mark a single answer.
That day had been the same.
But then I saw a dream,for myself,which clearly ordered me and begged me to atleast have a dream, a dream only to satiate myself.It told me that no matter what the circumstances be atleast be true to yourself.
I again gave CAT.Yes,it took me four attemps wherein the 29 tutned to 58,58 to 85,85 to 91 and finally 91 to 97.8 percentile.Yes,it is not a big deal and I agree but for some one who had got a 33 in maths in 12th CBSE board this atleast appeared satisfactorily amazing.
And all happened cause I made myself beleive in myself.
It was that one dream one day.

Just that hope is missing somewhere.
And then the class again resumed with someone else caught sleeping.
The mental image needs to be built again.
Murmuring again took over the class.
And I need to believe that I can fit the picture that I am about to draw for myself.
We were given the choice to leave the class if we wanted.
A picture which would again show me  a dream.

Neither me left nor the dream.


P.S.-The author humbly agrees that this is not a gimmick to show off his only achievement in life although which has not been much and that is his cat score,so the above text should not be used against him.

P.P.S.-The author is an asshole and it is late in the night.

Tuesday, September 6, 2011


There is a thin tipping point on when,what and how much to write.
Sometimes I write and sometime writing makes me write.
Off late no one of us has been compelling enough to elucidate an enunciation.
Me and my artist are at the ends of a tug of war.Same goes when I am in deep conversation with my love.
What is there that makes me less of the mortal I am.I still think and still observe.
Have these been my decisions or would these be my imperative moves that I am going to take in the years to come.
What I am good at comes not from the fact of what I am really good at.It is what I negotiate with my mind of what I am good at.
Writing is the only thing that comes naturally to me but even then this muse could never be a vice.
This has made me stand up and think that what IT is that stops me from taking the plunge,the leap of faith.
Where does my heart lie really.

There should be something really concrete that is compelling me to ask myself at 4:21 am in the morning with a mid term exam the next day-What is it?
Well,to set the record straight-I am initiative and am here to seek answers to the unquestioned answers.
I ask myself that why have I not let my initiative switch roles with myself.
Why don't I ever see myself being carried away by my initiative side.

What is it that stops me.
But then what is it that kicks me.

Initiative is not what I can show at my work place and be content with.It is a damning person.
Would I continuously let myself erode or would I stay.
Sometimes I feel to let go off things.Like a battle lost,like a noose tightened,like stopping to struggle just before death.
Reason is I expect an excruciating too much.

Initiative not shown at the football ground,fear of leading from the front.
Initiative of not asking a question in the class.fear of standing alone.
Initiative of not hitting peopele when things turned bad.Fear of losing people.
Initiative of not applying to that competition which I was good at.
Initiative of not standing on the chair when others were at oratorical eloquence.

Well,I agree that it is not fear always.Many a times it also has been the feeling of content.Of times when I saw that I could do better but still let go.
Even then initiative has to play the cast,take a lead and applaud itself.
An even bigger question or maybe an answer would be plain sloth.
Just that tipping point.
Just the next step.


A day again behemoths asI keep typing.
Words have come but has the meaning really been achieved.
A potential distrust,a macabre happening what tomorrow has in for me.

But that is basically what I am arguing upon.
It is not what tomorrow has for me.
It is what I have for tomorrow.


This week's 3WW being erode,heart and observe.

Thursday, August 25, 2011

The lull

It is as simple as blood flowing through my veins.
As simple as sex with a loved one.
As simple as water running downhill or as clear as envy killing the brain.
But even then why is there that last lap which I have been avoiding.
Why me of all the people creating a cyst of mine.
People have adapted their minds to this me.

This is NOT me.
This can never be me.

I have been a man who has been raw,
like a lion roaring,like the wind blowing,like the dew tickling.
I of all the people can never stay and wait.
I have been a man of action of decisiveness.I have glided through difficulties with ease.

And still today when I was thinking about me I realised there are things where am dwelling without a direction,places I am still worshiping without a deity.The lie needs to be quashed.

How can I forget that there is only one god here and that's me.

Finally the time has come.For others start listening to lullabies cause I will lull you to silence.
I believe my time has come.No it hasn't come I just brought it back.

This week's 3WW being adapt,glide and lie


Saturday, August 20, 2011


Chaal hai tedi
Dagmagai hui si
Hosh hai besudh
Ladkhadae hue se
Sans hai adhuri
Bheegi hui si
Simat ti karahti
Tilmila ke fir bhi

Jagti hai
Hasti hai aur manti hai
Ki jana hai ab mujhe
Us par nadia ke
Jab mujhe jhukna na padega
Apne hi haq k lie
Jab kalkothri na mujhe bandh paegi
aur na rok sakegi mujhe hazaro ki fauz
kyunki ab ladai mei nahi lad raha hu
mei to sirf ek zaria hu tum sabka

zindagi tumhari ab mei nahi jee raha
kyunki haq hai ye tumhara aur koshish bhi
 taqat hai ye tumhari aur paisa bhi

par fir bhi kyu
hum mare til til ke 
aur wo hanse khil khil ke
bharath ne hai ek hunkar kia
safed vastro ne chadai hai prachanda

Lekin tarkash bhi apna 
aur ban bhi 
sadhna hai to lakshya
jisko mitana aur jiska ankho se mitna
hai sirf ek hi hath me
hath hai wo hamara
desh hai yeh hamara 

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

us rat

saans ko chum raha tha
ya soch me doob raha tha
kya tha seene me us rat
jisko na jane kab se dhoond raha tha
fatwa jari karta tha har rat ko
chashmadeed bhi mei aur khushamdi bhi meri
par fir bhi na jane kyu,kabhi samajh na paya
ki kya tha us rat ko seene me mere

aisa kya tha seene me mere
jo na samjha paya farak mujhe
mere marne aur jeene me mere
aisi aag kya thi jo ek tadap na jhel pae
aisi bat kya thi jo ek jeevan ne dekh pae

kyu paye dir ne pankh aur kyu hari meri zaban
lafz thak gae khud se,kyu khatam hua har paigam
aisa kya tha us rat me,akhir bataye koyi
ki har rat ab bas dekhta hu khud ko tanga
khoonte pe kahi,har rat seeta hu ek aur sapna
gada hua kabro me kahi

akhir koi bata de mujhe
ki kya tha us rat seene me mere
jisne na fark karne dia
na jeene me aur na marne me mere



The pull is on
as a paper all torn

You write first
or let us be written

It is the fall of the pawn
or a king's return

The banter makes sense
or it is just a shrewd pretence

Sly swelled years
Glutton visible in peers

My breath fumbles
as my glance stumbles

As I fail to leave an impact
You all crusade and label me
a concoct

But I am not a brew
nor a whisper
nor the mockery
or the hushed fear

Catch hold of me
cause I am all yet the tip of the spear

Count your days
cause mine are numbered too

Pull up your socks
cause I am dirty too

From head to toe
to leg to temple
I will quiver my brow
To show you the omen

A dungeon seeths and a tornado weeps
cause they know that what I feel

And once I feel
You meanest of the mean
Would forget what actually feel,feels...


The artist's amazing art can be checked here Grinch
Kindly check 3ww for more enriching posts.

Saturday, June 4, 2011

that night

"Stalagmites and stalactites are the only things left in this place.
Some dripping cause I am losing memory and others cause this memory is going places I never went."

Groggily the old lady returned back to what she had been doing since ages.
Settled in her tutelage of broken chair near the creaking window sill she again poured back,on the memories that had been her only will.
Every day after getting up,which din't mean waking,running errands,bathing,having breakfast and settling to read a paper.It simply meant that she opened her eyes,eyes which could scarcely see but still her only hope.
She knew that once she opens eyes it wont be dusk but she knew for the coming 4 hours she couldn't sleep anyway.
So she waited with her eyes open nowadays reminiscing her days of glory, of beauty.
Of times when she was the one looked at,looked upon.
When she knew that boys from the end of the walkway would just pass her only to have a look at the peeking naval from the flowing sari.And she stood as if unaware just watering the plants.
Of ladies who would spew venom at even the mention of her name cause she always stood apart even in the most simple attires.
Of heaven in the arms of the salesperson she met once,of glittering nights with her husband's friend,of flowing hemlines with the school teacher.
And of what not.
She had not been the ordinary,nor the normal.
A friend of her once told her that she was born before her time.
She had been a student of history.And she always believed that she had been born years after her time.
Infact she felt that her pleasures could not be satiated by people of ranks,of fame,of power.
She only yearned for freedom.
She believed that the prowess in bed could only be determined by the feelings in head.
Not that she yearned to look for academicians or intellectuals but for men with spine.
For men who believed that there was one will and which was theirs.
She had inanimate conversations with a self of which she felt herself being a part.
A body with this self she just kept searching but only got parts of in different people.
It wasn't easy to woo her.Infact if even somebody thought of wooing her she would never look back leave alone being wooed.
She was a women with a world of her own.
And the man she set her eyes on shouldn't be someone whom others cherished.
Nor should he have cared.
Till she met him.
A cynic at thoughts,a magician at actions.
She could never unravel him.
At times the most serious looking person but the one who always came up with the best jokes.
Jokes where you cried while laughing but at a second thought seemed as the most profound thinking ever done.

"Her hate and her love never mingled but for him she could herself not think nor single."

He was the most erratic disposition she ever had.
Even before being laid she had sequenced the coherent rhythm a 1000 times in her head.
She actually knew the breaths and the timing of the shudders she would feel as she knew most of the time.

But this time things were different.
He was different.

She felt that a thousand nights and a million omens too were small for that night.

That was one day and today another one.

She is still looking at the ceiling.When the maid walks in.
When the sun comes out and another day sets in.

And still now till now she can feel him,that night makes her life luminous till now.

A night where she felt him not beside her but in her.

this weeks 3WW words-erratic, luminous and omen.


Monday, April 18, 2011

Know me

I have been through this experience and will be subjected to all this again.
And this happens to me all the time.
I come but I wait,wait till it is right,right to strike again as always,
Right time to let others think that they are the only ones,ones in the territory.

Till then I smell and I think,I weigh,I plan,I visualise,I create,I cleanse,I group,I divide till I don’t yearn for any more.

And then I let the wheels in motion,delicate gears which were comforting each other earlier start moving each one all in the illusion that they are supporting others but unknowingly all working for ME.
The movement catches such a resonant upbringing that they forget the wears and tears that they are getting subjected to,melting whatever they had.

And I smile as they smirk.

Dangling the dagger high on them and that too for so long that they don’t even remember that I was the one who started plotting against them in the first place.
And slowly trust shatters between them,I still watch.
Cause I know this is what would ultimately paralyse them.
It wont be a head shot from me but the plain nail biting between each of them which would eventually poison the air inside their lungs.The consistent kneading done by their minds to them.
Suffocation by not breathing out so that they don’t have to share even their outgoing breath.
Or with some others who in their own greed of mistrust would pull all the air inside them just to have everything.
Till the jammed heart and burst lungs would move no more.

I did nothing,I moved not a single bit,I tore not a single ligament.It were you only.
Between I am jealousy. 

I striketh back

Has this been a dream come true or a trance lurking over the ghouls.
I must would and should agree with the former.
Cause I know how much I had yearned for this,this being my MBA,my college,my hostel,my room.
I had been feeling low since long imagining colleges,just trying to be there but never ever being able to.

I sometimes ask myself - How big is a dream?

It is just that big to the point till which you chase it.
And believe me the more you chase it the bigger it becomes and the bigger it becomes the better it feels in the end.
Atleast I have felt so.
Right now I am walking the hallowed corridors of great lakes for real.I am sitting upright in my room’s wonderful chair.
The infrastructure is awesome,as good as I have never seen it in any other educational institutions so far.
But believe me even if the infrastructure had been shit I still would have been happier the same.
Cause I know that in the end I haven’t disappointed myself,Cause I took what’s mine.
I know how it feels when it takes you 5 consecutive years chasing the same stupid dream,
stupid cause only stupid things have the will and perseveration to doggedly chase.

Cause once sanity prevails,pragmatism kicks in we tend to act like adults.
And an adult wont try and cant try.
Adults tend to believe in things being obvious.
There is no red riding hood mating with a big bad wolf in an adults story.
It is just that being kids lets us see the hidden werewolves.

I know the ride wont be easy,things at stake are not small,dreams once seen have not drifted away.
I also know that its actually not about an MBA but about me.And it would always be about me.

As of now today is my virgin day in great lakes,I have not went out.
Today I have just spent the day with myself in the college,feeling it.
Sat in the amphitheater ,roamed around all the wings,met some in between but yes for once the victory would be savoured.
If I see back, in years today is the day when I am actually gluttonusly filling my craving of solitude.

And as the great philosopher MacD says-“I am loving it.”
I couldn't agree more:)


Thursday, March 10, 2011


Put the glasses aside.
When I would die I want to die plain,properly aware of the weaknesses I have,physical and mental.
My soul is shameless and I want my body to be the same.

Still I dont feel something right.
Are you sure we should carry this on.It doesn't look dainty enough.

Were you sure to carry your stupidest feelings with you.Were you sure to care for your dream when everything was against you.
And year on year you were ready to face that haunting shame again knowing that you might lose again.

Might is a big word.

But the end never set you free.You had failed and would fail again.I would halp you be free again.I would make sure that nobody can jeer you,make fun of you.
Cause you won't br there then.

Umm.Sounds somewhat OK.But tell me do you really think that once I am dead people would really be concerned to be happy or sad or laugh at me,for me,on me.

Thats what O fallen insane,Nobody would laugh at you.They would just be left with a tantalizing sense of you but NO YOU.

And yes nobody would even think of me.And leave others what would I accomplish if I myself am not present.What would I do with a soul with respect.I prefer a body even if there is all disguist.
Meandering hopes,absymal falls but still there would be moment.


Yes.Even though you try to coax me,persuade me,count the innumerable years for me every year,I know one thing,atleast there is a direction every year,to do things,to understand fears,to put at rest many tears,atleast I know I have a life.So you,yes you,you better get lost.

Hey,Wait for me.Am also coming....

This week's 3WW words are dainty, haunting and tantalize


Thursday, March 3, 2011

riveting hopes

How much more affinity can I have
with  a truth that even I find hard to stare
I keep on fidgeting as my hopes fly riveting
with every news I find  a mention
Once a rumor now a lost hope
But now some more pain can only subside this tension...
As affinity bowls me happiness makes me lie
after all this is the reason that I would try
Fidgeting body jittery mind
deep down I know I can still be kind
Father to a radical mind son to a scrambled heart
Onlooker to a fallacy
or the supreme holder of a rotten legacy
All I can mention is that
she should have been a not been
Cause that only would have been
My meanest of means...
And as I yearn for an affinity that has created  pain
a stench,a killer feels years after his moments of mention
Rebellious disgust,drastic measures messed up
For happiness which went only dressed up

I was the only one at the funeral
A funeral  happy for this death
Cause it was just me and the funeral
Me dead and the funeral happy
 for me being dead

just wanted to see how these 3 words address my thoughts in different directions.
Want to know how others go after their thoughts while writing poems.
The words at 3WW this week are affinity,fidget and mention


Wednesday, January 26, 2011


Anybody with 3 colors and a circle
can't be me
Anybody who just wants to hoist me 
can't be me
I am not the money in a CWG scam
neither am I the rising onion price
I am not the one who wants to be unfurled in a reactive state
nor am I the spirit of the various terrorist attacks
I am not the building scam for politicians
Neither am I the Bofor's deal still fought in courts
How dare you to call me the bone of a 2G scam
How dare you to associate me with a state division's 
I don't belong to Mumbai attacks
I never was a part of the Godhra riots

What am I 
a conniptipon or a soul gone astray
Please,Don't take my name for a blame
that I never did
My colors don't justify religion
My spokes don't symbolise corruption
I don't have the glutton for boundaries

This year I am 61 
I am born again and dead at the same time
No,I am not dead but you try to maime me
kill me
every year
Not by snubbing me
but by hoisting me
year over year
By making me symbolise a country
which shows no sign of reform,remorse
But whose integrity itself has gone janky
I know that this day has come again
A day for me
Let me live from this year
With dignity,with respect
Promise me just once
Atleast for this year
Promise me
That when you unfurl me
You would take steps 
to scooch 
over the sad past
to eradicate,to end 
what has been there always
Just for once
No matter how small it is
but you would try
And then I would say
that any 3 colors and a circle
show me
Show that 
I am the tricolor

This week's words at 3WW being:

conniption; noun: a bad tantrum. One has a conniption or conniption fit.
janky; adjective: broken or functioning poorly or improperly; messed up.
scooch; verb: to move over, or to scoo

I thought to write a story first but then today is India's Republic Day so thought to jot what India as an individual would be feeling as the voice of youth as me.
Image Courtsey:One of my friends-Prashant Mishra had painted our Indian flag's sorry state once.Hope we improve it.


Thursday, January 20, 2011

the kill

the surreality
the banter
the hogged lights 
the omnipresence

the twitched elbows
the gnawed nails
the blood puddles

beneath them all
was the success 
that could have come 
happily holistically
but now neither did any one notice
nor did any one care to acknowledge
the fact

that his move was not deliberate
neither amateur
the kill amassed once was still known
but his descent had started
not now
but back's back
like a track's crack
small at the start 
but deep as it greys

he still kills his kill
just in the hope 
that people would appreciate
just in the hope 
that applause will be his

what he has failed to appreciate
till now
is that he just needs to satiate himself
and not even one morose critic
not another country man
neither any of his family

then only his kill would be his.

The words at 3WW being descent, kill, surreal


Thursday, January 13, 2011

whew,it was close

The words at 3WW are: harmless, moist, yelp

Neither do I understand nor can I make people understand.

But I feel the urge to write when I am in the midst of my most important things as now.
But I am forced to remember that particular shot that had happened so clearly which could have very well changed my life forever.

Happily it din't.

It was the night of 24th of dec.There were just 15 minutes remaining for the gongs to sound and people to call hallelujah.
I had a hell of office work that day.I was choked to my head from the religious crap that I had been following since long.I could hear the sudden yelps my heart was muffling.
And after that long day I knew there were very few people meeting whom would give me the much needed respite.
And there I was all set to meet her.She had been to a party and had asked me not to come to pick her up as the night was more cold than the regular ones.

But,I insisted.

With gloves and 2 jackets on I was all set to capture the night.
With bike's engine revving up under me I set out.Me and this grim 2 wheeler always have been conqueror of sorts.
And this bike would turn even if I just said her to turn.
That was the camraderie that we shared.
That night too I came out with all hopes set high to break my mental barriers but something else awaited to be broken.

I was just 5 minutes out of the parking,on the main road when I came face to face with a big circular turn.
As always I coolly glided on that turn with the ace of the professional that I have always showed.
There was a bus going in front of me.i was planning to overtake it since long.Suddenly,the bus took a left.
The road being an extra large one and seeing the bus move towards its stop I pulled up the accelerator to a few more millimeters.

The bus moving to the left and I overtaking it from the right.Everything was perfect,perfectly harmless.In a matter of a few macro seconds I would have crossed the bus when suddenly the driver changed his mind.
In an instant the bus driver flicked his bus towards the right bringing it squarely in front of me.
I believe he did it cause there were no passengers to get down.

But that was when precisely everything pulled into slow motion for me.
first I saw the bus in front of me.
Then I looked at the other lane but there was a truck coming from the other side.Then with all my might I pressed the rear break and I knew that the collision was inevitable.
I was not able to believe that I of all the people would meet with an accident,me who never flouted rules.
With little options left I finally pressed my front was a disk brake.Within fraction of seconds the engine came to a halt but being on a turn the whole vehicle skidded and with it moved my body.
I could clearly feel my right leg touching the tarmac and then the bike.Within a moment I fell off from the vehicle.
I was seeing sparks flying from the bike and the bike kept moving from the bus.
If there was anything that was going through my head at that moment was the thought that this was not my bike and it was of foremost importance to me.

I don't know why but I looked at my left and I could smell the big bus tyres moving just on my side.
Slowly I stood up.I could feel all my limbs intact.With my pant half torn and superficial wounds which were blood smeared I slowly started hearing peoples voices.

They came to me running and said that it seemed that I would be dead by now.
Finally i was diagnosed with right leg limb rupture and some blood clots.
Things could have been worse,events could have been distorted.
Life doesn't come with alarm bells always.
But the few chances that we get can always be worked for a constructive future.
Sounds stupidly philosophical,boringly idiotic but still we should enjoy the moments that we have.
Or someday with moist eyes we would be looking at limbs which were once hands,a body which was once life..
I have met people who weren't as lucky as me.
But then life moves on.
Now while resting in this plaster cast I actually think that although my life doest seem to be changed but yes still it has.




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