Monday, April 18, 2011

Know me

I have been through this experience and will be subjected to all this again.
And this happens to me all the time.
I come but I wait,wait till it is right,right to strike again as always,
Right time to let others think that they are the only ones,ones in the territory.

Till then I smell and I think,I weigh,I plan,I visualise,I create,I cleanse,I group,I divide till I don’t yearn for any more.

And then I let the wheels in motion,delicate gears which were comforting each other earlier start moving each one all in the illusion that they are supporting others but unknowingly all working for ME.
The movement catches such a resonant upbringing that they forget the wears and tears that they are getting subjected to,melting whatever they had.

And I smile as they smirk.

Dangling the dagger high on them and that too for so long that they don’t even remember that I was the one who started plotting against them in the first place.
And slowly trust shatters between them,I still watch.
Cause I know this is what would ultimately paralyse them.
It wont be a head shot from me but the plain nail biting between each of them which would eventually poison the air inside their lungs.The consistent kneading done by their minds to them.
Suffocation by not breathing out so that they don’t have to share even their outgoing breath.
Or with some others who in their own greed of mistrust would pull all the air inside them just to have everything.
Till the jammed heart and burst lungs would move no more.

I did nothing,I moved not a single bit,I tore not a single ligament.It were you only.
Between I am jealousy. 

I striketh back

Has this been a dream come true or a trance lurking over the ghouls.
I must would and should agree with the former.
Cause I know how much I had yearned for this,this being my MBA,my college,my hostel,my room.
I had been feeling low since long imagining colleges,just trying to be there but never ever being able to.

I sometimes ask myself - How big is a dream?

It is just that big to the point till which you chase it.
And believe me the more you chase it the bigger it becomes and the bigger it becomes the better it feels in the end.
Atleast I have felt so.
Right now I am walking the hallowed corridors of great lakes for real.I am sitting upright in my room’s wonderful chair.
The infrastructure is awesome,as good as I have never seen it in any other educational institutions so far.
But believe me even if the infrastructure had been shit I still would have been happier the same.
Cause I know that in the end I haven’t disappointed myself,Cause I took what’s mine.
I know how it feels when it takes you 5 consecutive years chasing the same stupid dream,
stupid cause only stupid things have the will and perseveration to doggedly chase.

Cause once sanity prevails,pragmatism kicks in we tend to act like adults.
And an adult wont try and cant try.
Adults tend to believe in things being obvious.
There is no red riding hood mating with a big bad wolf in an adults story.
It is just that being kids lets us see the hidden werewolves.

I know the ride wont be easy,things at stake are not small,dreams once seen have not drifted away.
I also know that its actually not about an MBA but about me.And it would always be about me.

As of now today is my virgin day in great lakes,I have not went out.
Today I have just spent the day with myself in the college,feeling it.
Sat in the amphitheater ,roamed around all the wings,met some in between but yes for once the victory would be savoured.
If I see back, in years today is the day when I am actually gluttonusly filling my craving of solitude.

And as the great philosopher MacD says-“I am loving it.”
I couldn't agree more:)




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