Friday, June 20, 2014

Those days

The beauty of fiends is that they have grown with me.
What we are today lies what we were when back then we were together,
How we grew and how we became is because also of how we came, of age then
No sign of shame, no remorse, no robes no roses
Even now I can go back to my 1 AM friends and be stark naked for what I feel
My deepest fears, my weirdest desires, my happiness,my threadbare anguishes
all, still feel at ease when I talk to you guys
With you there is no right no wrong cause there is no judgement at all
If I am wrong maybe you would listen but still understand
but you know what, we know that its right cause that has been our right
I have been feeling alone and then full
Cycles moderate, days pass
I would still scavenge for those memories, sift through our old photos,
laugh in the night alone, looking at weird photos of weirder people
Memories keep running to me, of events known, played a thousand times in my head
Sometimes I do feel alone
Sometimes I really do
But then thats the beauty of it
That every time, does tighten the bond
I smile once more and relive these things, all over again
all over again


Sunday, April 6, 2014

my curse

How does it feel to be pulverized by rocks,

Being hypnotized in the docks,

For all that you put me through, for the sun to hit you when you grew,

Cranky I am cause it is what it is,

Crucify me or gut me like a fire which is,
Not a friend a foe but a dead eyed doe

I splutter in the carriage with cages tied to my baggage
I can't fly can't run, I rummage from what I earn

I know cause this is how I grew
This venom which I brew

Slippery slates for sluggish woes
Dreary days with gruffish glow

Have it on me cause my head is red
Blame it on me cause my blood is dead

You know what,I know how it feels,
I know how it feels


Wednesday, February 5, 2014

The twain shall meet

Photo Cortsey: Fight_Club_by_evil_penguins

So after many days 
we sit across the table
yes you and me
as if we are parts of a fable

there are lines, thin, but tensed
while i am all whines 
about feelings which no one sensed

So I start the talk
with a fetch of a small walk
"Where have you been these days
A bug and a furrow and happiness like sorrow"

He winks waves wanders mellows
Cause he looks sullen with the sun yellow
He says, then thinks, perches his lips and again winks
The words just linger but not long enough to chide the finger

He thinks and thinks
while I contemplate
was it a yin or a yang
or just plain words that killed him off his slumber

I never saw him agitated so much
like a nurse with the tip of a death stench
He was not someone who would wait
and wait to answer what he never knew
but then today he waited
at my jibe he waited

we both knew that the cacophony had to emanate soon
the clothes he wore were to be shed soon

a million coffers down and a zillion oaths sworn

I asked him again not of his absence
but of his ominous presence 
of his stock hair and stoic pretence

Finally he graced me with words
fit enough to be a kings hearse
He said that he never knew angst nor disdain
he felt that now maybe his feelings too weren't his own

Stuck between a mirage of gloom
and a sea of bloom
He never knew if it was guilt bequeathed 
or sun kissed weed
Days of commonality were just a denomination
absence of happiness was just a mere absolution

we agreed that dejection was me
not feeling adequate was me 
fun frolic faith was but me
appearances drooled while the world in which i lived ruled

It has been long when the you and me have little differences
It was like a homecoming cause the we was me
the twain were me 
soon we met and we met for good
cause the disdain was but me


Thursday, October 17, 2013

A view from the clouds


rooi k faahe, rakhe hue hai hawa me
reh reh k dehek rahe hai wo kal rat k koyale
sigri k dhua abhi hata nahi hai
naya din abhi hua nahi hai
rat ki thandak chadar ke karine se abhi bhi tapak rahi hai
tumhari yad abhi tak chati nahi hai

sannata kahi bana hua hai, beichaini kahi thami hui hai
unchaiee kaat nahi sakti, sachai  jo badal nahi sakti
kahaani ne mod aisa lia hai jaise kisine us kirdar ki maut ko see dia hai
kirdar wo aj bhi hai, karzdar tum aj bhi ho
par ab jald karz ka matlab nahi rahega, kyunki shayad ab us mol k astitv nahi rahega

baadal abhi bhi utne hi besharam hai, reh reh k rang badalte hai
poocho to kehte hai bebak ki mei wo nahi jisse tum kal mile the
kaise samjhau unhe mei; ki sirf roop aur vesh me tum nahi ho
uske andar jo tum ho shayad; ab tum samajjhte ho ki wo tum nahi ho

mei reh jata hu fir se meri kahani lekar, shuruat ko ek nae duhai dekar
kya badla tha ajtak jo ab badlega, kash aisa socha hota to kya kuch badla hota
ab neeche log dikhne lage hai , aur dikhne lage hai ghar aur sadke
kuch samay mei, mei bhi in logo me aur inki galio me hounga
par fir bhi waha badalte baadlo jaise log hoenge, aur hounga me is soch me
ki kab hoengi cheezein waisi jaisi chahi thi, kahani aisi jaisi likhi thi
rooi k faahe, rakhe hue hai hawa me
sigri k dhua abhi bhi hata nahi hai

A view from my planes window had me thinking of the beauty that I always see.

Friday, September 20, 2013

I may, maybe

And I found happiness, knew how to appreciate it but then it was when I was sad;
And I found solace,knew how respite felt like but that was when I was struck in the midst of a crowd;

Am I moving too fast or has the sloth muffled me
Am I smiling cause I know not to cry

Should I appreciate it now that I can seek what I want
Or should I stay and be sad cause it at the first place taught me, to respect

Should I run as walking leaves that sore
or should I loose cause winning makes me immune

When its so sad why do u add up
When things are bad why do we not pack up

let me pack you up
run myself over my lips
right my woes and put it in my books
and then
and then burn my half of the books

Cause you are just a phase
A guy who has just been in a rage
Rage will swell and then pride will fall
I wish the guy to stand tall

And if you stand even then
maybe then sometime we can still maybe then
we can sit and call names which
would be happy to hear and bring us some cheer
cause that is what would make us more of the man
and you less of the moron

Or should I even think about it,
should I
may I

I may, maybe
or maybe not

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

kash bat alag hoti


Kitni bar tumne isko toda
Kitni bar waqt ne muh moda
Par chahta nahi tha tu samajhna
Na manna na pehchanna
Ki soch rahegi ye abhi ya shayad kabhi nahi

Ek jawab tumhare pas bhi hai
Aur hai ek sawal mere pas bhi
Tum chaho to yahi hogi zindagi apni
Aur chaho tum to hogi ek beete kahani meri

Yad aunga mei tumhe ek galti ki tarah
Aur yad rahogi tum mujhe ek ehsaas ki tarah

Na rukunga mei aur na rukogi tum
Tum rahogi aisi hi aur mei rahunga waise hi

Bas sath alag hoga
Bat alag hogi

Fir mei todunga apne apko
Aur tab bhi nae samjhunga
Kyunki samajhna mei kabhi chahta nae tha

Kash tum hoti kash hota mei


Wednesday, July 10, 2013


commotionby *soft-h

RUN with might
FIND evidences for what you believe
DRIVE with passion
EARN to settle plight

CREATE yourself
And feel that no motherfucker can taint you, maim you
My head wobbled back with the swerving ideas.
It hadn't been such impatient before, with those succulent thoughts.
But nowadays I am losing it more often than not.
I hide between myself.

Damning philosophies and berserk debates rattle in my ears,
Things half said, thoughts half rotten malign me.
Is it the work that has taken its toll on me,
or have I obviated life of life itself

Things are now tasks, difficulties are now processes
Randomness is maiming itself, creating airs for those jiffy clean processes

And no I don't like this
A clear sky laughs behind a clear mind
A road of clarity triggers me of my haplessness
The clutter was me, the stench the turmoil was me
The land at the road's end with all that commotion was me
Somebody has tried to kill me, by saving me from this death

This I never wanted
With a life better placed
But with a place better wasted
Sadness now doesn't pain me
Its the emptiness which kills me

I am afraid to head home early after a tiring day
Not because of drudgeries of officiating administration
But because of the fear of nothing to do
I am tired not from work but from the dearth of it

I am a hollow mind now, my body had long lost its charm
But this mind was not supposed to act in this penance
I tried counting the new people whom I met earlier
I tried searching for friends for fresh air
But the numbers on fingers made my fingers look too big

Every night I return back as the lone rider
And just as and when I am about to stop fear cringes
And throttle twinges to let the ride go some more
To a road not taken, to a streetlight yet virgin
Delinquency to move one more block

Fear is sidelining everything,
And that too so much that the courage to drive on is,
basically, fear pushing me to drive on




The world is a stage

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