Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Death by choice

Image courtsey: the_wishing_pool_by_moni158

Yes Sahib, be patient soon we will have a view of the lions, said the mahaut (the elephant rider).
Sahib I was atleast in these woods and it felt good to be called so.

It was sheer cooperation that would have been the key.
As the sun became brittle and the westerlies were still moving we never thought that the jungles would still remain at their enticing best.
A few minutes ago the wind was playing havoc and I never knew that you would be even ready to move out for a round of fun exploring these lions.

You had been crappily irritating, but then that was then.
You nagged and made me realise that hell is very near and it all depends just on the partner you choose.
But yes that was all before.Days have changed is what they say.
I tried my best to not think of those days.

I can hear the birds flying suddenly, the packs circling as if they have the lead of something close.
The simple sounds of monkeys swaying from the gulmohurs is good enough to catch the excitement of any one.And for a group like ours which has been just to savour the pleasure of a lion feasting in front of us, this doesn't seem a wrong moment.
When Anita first told me of this safari I wasn't much excited.
Even the whole idea of trekking in the open on an elephant with just the mahaut and no other safety dint excite me.
She said that this would be our retribution, of going away from the past which was lonesome and scary.
When we had distrust and disregard for days at a a stretch.Maybe this was the reason for which we never had children.

But I never was the one who cheated. It was you and you alone who was with Romy, the so called Ramesh all these days.
On days when I used to cry for her she used to cry with pleasure while lying in the arms of him writhing like a snake.
The shame was too much and maybe the end was too small.
I gave her too much and yet wanted too little.

But after these years she seems to have repented of her sins.And when she asked me to come here I couldn't say no.
And once when I saw these jungles I couldn't say no.Spellbounded by the majestic thicket that they had.Light had diffculty coming down from the dense cacophony of trees.
Land lay moist of the marks of predators we shuddered even to think.And always the tranquil sound of the river flowing nearby.
I immediately fell in love with the place and all over again with Anita.
This was supposed to be my best vacation ever.

I don't know if this excuse was as lame as the others cause yesterday night I saw something which I shouldn't.Somehow her mobile lay near me and the urge was uncontrollable.Even the time when we were together she was virtually with Romy.Even the things I told her were going at the speed of light to him.They were having fun on behest of me.
This was more than enough with me exactly knowing what to do, now.

I had bribed the mahaut enough knowing that there are not many needs of poor men.
Now all that was needed was the arrival of lion.One small push and the rest would be history.Nobody would ever know how and what happened.The only thing known would be a vacation gone terse.
And lo behold what I see is not one lion but a pack of lions raging a war with hunger.
There have been cases of man eating animals and this was evident by the way they were charging towards us.
Just any second from now the lions would have their fill and I would have my revenge.
A small thud it would be and Anita would be what she is, nothing but a dead remorseless body.

Soon,the thud was heard and death was seen.There was a lot of tearing of flesh and gnawing of bones.The beasts showed why they were called the beasts in the first place.
Even before help could come the body was torn beyond recognition.

When the resuce team came nobody could tell what happened cause the plan was buried with the dead man, the man who was the progenitor of death was devoured by death itself.

Anita knew that even a poor man had needs and she had made sure that even his seven generations would live happily.The mahaut dint take time to change sides and to push the sahib off the elephants back.
Cause Anita had given him a lot more than money, she had given him a piece of herself as well on that day,now both were party to the crime.

Written for 3WW for the words: Cooperation, lame and terse


Sunday, March 17, 2013


Image credits: Spark Saw by *Burning2Sleep
See it is just that moment which begins with a spark and this and only this moment which can burn a nation like wildfire.
I was wondering why sometimes words fail me while sometimes unknowingly failure begets poetry.
I was breaking my head bad and mad all over me but whatever I wrote had to be deleted.
Nothing seemed to make any sense to me.It was just void, dull insignificant psychotic void, present but still insignificant.
Something that we all have become.From one angle we all feel  as if we have reached heights but then we all know the hollowness that we still live in.
It was this very moment where sense prevailed over absolution.
Something which came out pouring of my school prayers:
"Where knowledge is free and World has not been broken up.....into dreary desert sands".

I think freedom to think would embroil everything when we would be free to understand freedom.It is a misnomer of sorts, of discussions of debates.
I hate debates nowadays. I debate but I know that my debate is only as strong as the source from which I read my facts from.
And a lot depends on the facts fed into these papers.Cause what are facts but a winners carnage.
Anyways I somehow still am never satisfied by what I ever write.
But sometimes at least it is passable and sometimes people try to pass it and I know it stinks during those times.
But then still atleast still I am able to uncloth the reason of why, why sometimes we can write while sometimes words feel molested, mishandled.
And everything then fits into where t should fit.
It is that spark, that moment which makes the whole sense.
I would be happy if we all could bolster courage to copulate more with these sparks of ours.


Saturday, March 16, 2013


What could actually be more beautiful than this place known as Kasauli.
I don't know what but there is something which just made me feel like going back home.
Not that as I have lived or loved in hill stations. Infact this was a first time for me.
But you see this place had that creepy smouldering effect on me as if I belonged here.

You could sniff the clouds right through your room inching from the windows.
A dab of freshness always lighting your rooms.
That cup of tea which tasted as the biggest single malt ever conjured. I remember those strolls clearing the clouds as I moved further.
My detours into the cobbled lanes. Breakfast being made on order. The luscious roads.
A place which made me feel that you don't need people to make you happy but happiness alone would make you happy.
I was not only reading my choicest of books on those mountains but all the books buried inside me were fluttering to come out.
The place made me realise the writer I was.
The long walks where I contemplated with nature and we both teamed up against me made me realise the beauty of solitude.

The railings still fresh with dew filled moss would make a killing for a location.
The place made me realise the traveller I was.
Of lands unknown of souls untouched.
Sitting with the locals and chatting over topics unknown.

Death was never so young and life never so morbid,
See there are times when you feel that insignificance is the highest level of significance.
That was one of those times.

I realized once more that you don't need a god to tell you what ought to be done but it is you and you alone who will be taming these so called gods and demons alike cause none of them ever existed and would never will.

You know how it feels when the distance rings of the songs that you never knew but always enjoyed, when peace prevails and you dont know that things existed, which could eat your fears your aspirations.
Days when you realise that there are things and people and feelings better suited better booted.
When you realise that you have a bigger calling than whatever big you ever dreamt of.
That was one of those days.

Kasauli we will meet more often.




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