Sunday, September 27, 2009

wait-just wait

At times it is great to wait.

Is it so.
I was and am confused.
Sometimes things turn sour and this happens when you want them extremely sweet,when you have expected a sugar syrup dipped in Jaggery with chocolate toppings.
Love has this strange habit.
Sometimes I think why to expect at the first place and then somehow I fight with myself and agree that expectation is a vice and I conquer it.
But what to do at times when things become bad for the silliest reasons.
I always say that big fights happen for the silliest reasons coz big issues are always visible and hence worked upon.
I agree that what happened today,is actually nothing happened.
What happened was because of neither of us.
But what happened has made both of us sad.
I always believe in talking and sorting things out.
I always believe in rights and wrongs.
I filthily become judgmental at times when I am supposed to be a patient listener.
The sense of right dominates my other senses.Although I am trying to balance the act.
Actually trying to understand what needs to be understood.
I know that this is no big issue and by tonight itself you would call me.
But this period has given me time to contemplate,to see through me,in me.
I know I can't always be right and actually shouldn't be.
If it was for me,I would have called you a thousand times and would have made you see my point,cause thats my way of me.
But now that when you ask me to wait,I abide and at times during the wait am again and again bitten by my guilt-the pangs of which are so big that again and again I think that why I din't listen even if it was for the so called right in my head.
Cause for being right at least I must have listened to the storms you were witnessing.
Today's happenings are not cause of me not listening neither cause of me expecting much but something smaller than everything that we aren't able to comprehend.
So,for today....

Today I would wait-just wait.  


Wednesday, September 16, 2009

the weight of my tears


The man behind the 3ww,(the prompt for which I wait with baited breath for all seven days,where I have met the most interesting writers)Thom G lost his father the past week.
My respect and sympathies for him.
Tc Thom.

I turned back unable to control my tears.
I turned back not to let her know ever,
that even in this man there were traces,
traces scarred deep by the pangs of emotions,
portrayed by my sullen tears...

Grappled but not long enough to take my hanky out
Grappled but not long enough,not to let my tears pout

But the hanky was all thick
carrying signs of the passing time's wick
My past gloom,my past cries
My heart breaks and losses deep
All neatly cornered and beautifully creased
The hanky aged heavy unable to be creased

I searched it more
tried to hide like I always tried
in the days of yore

And then felt the drift
felt her hands in the mist
She looked straight through
And i knew it down true

Now a hanky won't be needed
and that was all that her eyes pleaded 
Yes,now a hanky won't be needed

Written for 3ww-Hanky,Thick,Drift


Wednesday, September 2, 2009

I am sorry my baby

A baby shrouded in a cloth
was a body cold in growth
life unhinged happiness dark
A void so big 

could I fill it with
anything that wasnt filth

Stuck in a jaunt
A macabre of emotions
Played havoc
while I buried you
your body inches deep

How would I sleep not to find you in the morn
I wake with a daze with the LUSTER in your voice
You fade in a haze like amber in the blaze

I never knew 
death could be so strong 
I never thought 
a THREAT could go so wrong

There is only one truth and that's you are not near 
There is only one truth and that's you will never be here

The toys that I bought I have thrown them all
The cloths that I bought I have burnt them all

Time will move and grow you will
grow you will but not in your grave
but deep,deep down in my mind 

I would see you play
see you sing and see you fight

I am searching for your GLARE
from deep down there
At least just stare
for my miniscule lack of care

But all I see 
is a beautiful smile
all I see 
is something that can now never be here
Sometimes we see things so sad so melancholy we wish that this would never have happened.
A few days back I came across the unfortunate demise of a baby hardly 4 months old.




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