Social media,bah humbug.
Thats what I should blurt out.
But I too am one of the addicts out there.
But this media is the place that has been throwing quite a few stark realisations straight on my face since a long time.
I am not being me or basically am not being what I intend to be but rather what I succumb to be.
The whole profile pages,the albums,the wall to wall talks are all showing me people who are finally giving way to eccentrities.
There are people who are going on the craziest of the trips.
There are my very own friends who have been embarking on the most bizarre professions that I had dreamed of,
or more properly felt in awe of.
When I turn my neck around I see people who are going to become lawyers,cinematographers,chefs and even many who are at home.
Somewhere today i am feeling that I am very soon turning into that cribbing regular man who cribs, spathes himself again and again in a glorified crying.
i tend to innovate caricatured excuses of job,of studies and n more alibis every other day.
But every day I know deep down that dude you had to be there.
Look at the sun rising from the peak's tip,look at the concoction that he just made,look at the awesome video she just made,Dude I had to be there.
But the biggest question that stands straight is why then am here.
I too want to be happy,clicking pics in places where I yearn to be.
i too want to be bubbling with a euphoria where I would be proud to say taht :look dude I belong here.
This is what i wanted to do all my life.
Then where am I going wrong.
Let me see what I actually want to do.
First is to write,write endlessly,maybe just a letter or maybe a novel,maybe for my solace or maybe for the world's pensieve.
So what is stopping me.
Me and me alone.
Am I stuck in a priority quagmire which is eating me and me trying to eat it almost at the same time.
Cause I have got excuses ready.
I want to do that bloody MBA since I dont know when.I am so vexed at times that it seems even stupid to put it in writing a crime.
And whats stopping me now.Thats me again.
This I say cause it is the only respite for me.
But then there is the acting bug which is there or not or well maybe ummmmm....
Whatever atleast the bug of living shouldn't die.
Maybe one day I would meet you all and say:
"Dude,that's what exactly am made for:)"
~Harsha
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ReplyDeletehmmm...that's how i feel sometimes too..and i didn't know you were interested in acting too! nice :) so when are you going to act out something for us here? :P
ReplyDeleteanyway, a very well written piece...could connect with it instantly :) keep it up! :)
Bravo Harsha, I have a bit different opinion on this.This state of confusion is a also very nice feeling.Life is not exactly a race for all living beings but its definitely a chase for each and every one of them so chase your goals always in place of being a part of a race which may lead you to achieve someone else's goal. Few s/w enggs turned Managers might crib why the hell they changed the profession because they hate travelling, they r not that talkative,they r not witty hence before choosing any profession you should know your basic nature. A good musician cannot be good manager coz his nature is to amuse evry1 around and ignore people who r sleeping in his/her concerts. ----------- Kshitij aka eGhoshBaba
ReplyDelete@Arwen
ReplyDeleteThanks that you felt it being well written.
I actually finished it in 5 minutes.The shortest time I ever gave to write anything.
Acting to pata nahi kab hogi.I have always been mesmerised by it.just did some at school level.Want to do it again.Maybe some day.
Thanks again.Btw Lord of the Rings is a serene soothing movie:)
@Kshitij aka eGhoshBabu aka Anonymous
Thanks yar sabse pehle to.
I very well am in sync with what you are saying.
And what I wanted to say here was somewhere the same.
Seeing people around me is infact a booster,a rota check.Its not that am getting disheartened seeing people but it surely is of times when I think where am I lacking my direction.
The angst is because am ditching myself for the efforts that could have been but have turned futile coz of my futility.
Am still chasing or at least trying to chase my goals:)
And man this is also a case gone wrong a dont-know-what has become a s/w engineer:)
~Harsha
Harsha..my dear.. am speechless.. very very well written..I dont know what to comment..because..i myself map so well with what you feel and you have written..but i can just say..the days today might be difficult 4 us..because yes u r rite..when u say..
ReplyDelete"Am I stuck in a priority quagmire which is eating me and me trying to eat it almost at the same time."..
There is just 1 step separating us from what we are and what we want to become..I believe the day is not far..when we will cherish these struggles , which pushed us into becoming..what we always wanted to..our dreams wil come true.. aaj thoda struggle kar lete hai..cuz i believ..today..we r more closer to the goal..as compared to where we were the last year..This blog is a proof of ur progress..
And i know..a great future awaits my dear friend..just waiting to be a part of his celebrations !! :) god bles u my friend.. :)
@Insight-Jim
ReplyDeleteU being speechless is such a big thing for me in itself.
Thanks for your wonderful words.
I know there is one step actually that is seperating us from our struggle.But somehow this last lap has become the hardest with me being the wickedest notorious ever.
Not concentrating on what is required.
But yes aaj thoda struggle hai jo hamein karna hai:)
I dont know about this but I wish ki I too could be as sure of myself as u are:)
thanks for the faith buddy.
~Harsha