The day I lost my joB.
Feels as if it might sound sad,complex.
But the day it happened I felt as any other day cause it was something that not only me but my other 9999 colleauges had been anticipating.And I thought I wont feel bad as this happened not because I had screwed something up horribly but it was because my company's CEO had SCREWED everything.
"We all were but lambs in the flock,pebbles in the water heavy enough to have an identity but not heavy enough to stop being pushed by the river."
Somehow the initial phase got through.
Facing family,facing loved ones.facing neighbours,then the shopkeepers,then the distant relatives,the barber,the tea wallah,the landlord,the curious onlooker and finally facing myself.
But then somewhere its the toughest.
Knowing when you are all good but being in the few who got laid Off or rather FIRED.
I knew I would never feel bad or sad or torn or broken cause I knew it never was my fault.
But then the GLOOM came.It writhed,cried,shouted spread its shroud and came for me.It stuck my love first and then my friends and all those who were in this layoff wonderfully called as sabbatical.
I knew one day this would happen.One day all my loved ones,those who cared for me would be in shambles because of this situation.
But I knew I would fight all cause I had no choice of sitting and crying.There is this wonderful crux in life.You come out at your best after a head on collision.Sounds absurd but thats it.
I knew one thing that if there is anyone who would KNEEL,it would be life and not me,and I made it sure enough.
I called my friends who were in the same boat as me.And together we saw the new hope that seemed so clear,which was always there but never visible.
I had found a body to my dreams.Finally I could opt for higher studies that I had been waiting for so long.
There is this wonderful way of making ourselves happy.We say all happens for a reason,all happens for good.Although we just settle down with the newer things and console ourselves.But still it is essential as it keeps us the way we are,else we would have lost long back.
All is transparent now,specklessly transparent and I am here standing in arms,arms wide spread.
I have withered one more storm.Come life I am ready with my sword.
HIT ME
Taking them all in your strides--how terribly exposed we are to the vagaries of market forces! We've words to describe, the euphemism called the 'sabbatical', but then we understand what's what.
ReplyDeleteAll the very best, Harsha, in your new pursuit.
Nanda
Thanks Mr Nanda.Euphemism indeed and also a nice experience.Erratic market or rather erratic thought process.
ReplyDeleteAnd yes I have got a job which is far more respectable than the previous one but now I want to make myself immune to market vagaries.
Planning to go for higher studies.Lets see when do I strike gold.
~Harsha
I read this several times .. but had no words of comfort, always believing that you will get a better one.
ReplyDelete@Amias
ReplyDeleteThanks Amias and better I got.I am happy that you never had words of comfort cause I never wanted any.I know its a battle and standing tall would be the only answer to things.
I gotwhat we call a blessing in disguise;)
~Harsha
this was all the essence what one could be going through that period..
ReplyDeleteloved the last line"Come life I am ready with my sword.HIT ME"..this was a winner!!
as i can see from your above response to earlier comment, you are now in abetter place... congrats..:))
with this attitude, u sure will be a success everwhere..nice post
@Wishes galore
ReplyDeleteThanks dear.
Yea a mirage of emotions through that time.
and the we have to stay away from the snooze button too;)
Thanks for coming by.
Hope to see more of you:)
~Harsha