Its 2 in the night.One of my most powerful moments of the whole day,before dawn after night.I reign.I look.
But do i rule,or these are but my mind playing tricks with me.
Just now have made mental note to study for this year's big exams.
And then saw Russell peter's show and then I am again asking myself -Can I ever be at a place like that.
There is one profession that right now I am following and I pretty suck at it.But that's a respectable one.People are mad about it.You have tonnes of money in it,Only if one can mint it in the right way.
And then there are things that I am good at,probably.
Things where my mind runs at lightning speed,probably,and there is value out there.But right now where I am its all considered plain crap.
Plan to write a novel,plan to host shows,plan to travel the world,plan to kick butt,plan to run on the roads now,plan to do my MBA by biting the cat real hard.PLAN.
This word itself has become a jeering question nowadays.
All my plans I have seen doing backflips in the dirtiest of the puddles.Yes,I have grown since these plans first surfaced but my position still remains as the remnant of the same stupid kid.
Aimlessly once more my eyes graze the virgin road taking seducive curves,all waiting to be trampled by me.Just feel like picking my bike and roving the road.
(Mental note to self:-Got to buy a bike)
Again have to organize myself.Have consistently been making my mind agree to the fact that this chain can't be torn,this shackle can't be defabricated.
Is that jeering road ruling me by calling me or is it I who am controlling it.
Is it me who is taking decisions and moulding life or rather it is life that is calling me names and just bending me in the situations.
What am I,a book keeper,a journal writer,an amateur,a coward,a liar,a pot bellied idiot,a dignified meek,a mundane lifestyle,an incongrous shakespere,an emanciated self...........
Drastically set goals tend to elongate like the life of a medically extended old soul.
Happy for the life but sad for the self.
Happy because I am afraid to die,sad because am not able to live.
Yes euthanasia is the only solution.Yes it is.