My last

If the sun told you tomorrow
That I breathed my last yesterday
What would you do
If you knew that I was the one always what would you do
If you knew that crumpled hearts and faded eyes were never a feeling of gloom but love then what would you do
What would you do if you knew that the reasons you were so fighting were wrong always
What would you do if deep down you knew that your fight was for namesake
What would you do to know that sometimes it doesn't hurt to accept to agree and not dissuade
What would you do when you knew that the person was actually right when he said he was right
What would you do when the doing becomes so late that then the doing never matters
What would you do with a moon when the night itself stands extinguished
What would you do when loneliness smiles cause that's what we made it to be
What would you do if water could not move the routes it naturally could have flowed what would you do if winds now were forced to turn
What would you do if the doing too does not count anymore
What would you do if someone wants death
What would you do if damage was a reason to live
When sun scathed and eyes swayed
What would you do if you knew that yesterday I breathed my last

I

I a memory
Soon
I a day less lived
I the moon
I the sun
I the scream
I the relief
I the fight
I the solace
I the feel the heal
I the hope the haunt
I the love the loss
I the eternal the effervescent
I
I the dominant
I the submissive
I the start the end
I the missive the reason
I am what you want me to be
I live with you and die for u
I

I know not

I know not what I want
I know not what I need
I know yet that I m amiss
With wit and humor doing charades
With pumpkin people killing parades
I know not what I miss
The fun and the glee
Seem so much as my pree
The sadness and glum
Look as if we were never chums
But when I know me and know me enough
I see that something is amiss
My smiles are miseried with sadness hidden in cavities
My sadness is amiss with sharing between friends

Sachai

Gat parigat Hai sheersh tera
Nam Hai ye tujhko mastak mera
Dhruti abhi samati nahi
Itni si bat satati nahi
Hai shaqal Teri ya akal meri
Sab saath gaanth ki kahani yahi
Hinsa kar Tu ya reh shant prachand
Kar karm kar ya sun Rona apna
Par jeet ta Hai wahi jiska vash me ho uska man apna
Aye bahut dhurundar sakal
Par reh gae bina sakth akal
Agar Hai Tu bhogi aur Tu vinashak
Par man me Hai kapat aur chal atyant
Na khalega tab na tikega tab
Kyunki ant dekhta Hai wahi
Jisme ho vivek aur shant srijan
Chahe agar Tu ant saral to vipda bhi reh k na aegi
Jeet ki vela tham jaegi
Kyunki din har na harta Hai
Chah k bhi hare na darta Hai
Ahankar beech me apna sir gadata Hai
Chota sa pyada bhi vazir ban jata Hai
Shrishti na aise hi soti Hai
Virat vikral ban k roti Hai
Jo Tu dar gaya to Tu dhungega bhagwan
Aur jo na Dara to banega sachha insan
Soch Hai tere hi hatho me
Chah Hai Teri hi bato me
Har din na jeet hoti Hai
Par jis din har hoti Hai
Sachai aur aukat usi din
Samajh me ati hai

Ohhh that life

Ohhh that life
With smashing pumpkins and sloshing bottles
Ohhh that life
With you in my arms
And hugs so complete
With ur trinkets making noises
And ur laughter filling voices

Ohhh that life when I would know that knowledge is what completes us
Humor is what drives us
Crying would keep us real
And sex would keep us emotional
Ohhh that life when your lips would not be kissed but devoured
When your eyes would be mine
And dreams would be shared

Ohhh that life when life would be free
Not fraught by stupidity
Not bound by nayness

When we would dance whenever we would feel like
When you would offer me sangria to celebrate my cooking
When we would right books which we would believe in

Ohhh that life when the sun would set with stories told.by you
When I would look next to me and see a woman who had a dream and she did her best to achieve her dream
A woman who never gave up
A girl who was the lady for what she did her life

A lady who will be my fair lady always
When I will tell my kids about her
They would be as proud as I would be

Ohhh that life where Elysium would mate with reality
That life where we would be what we want to be
Best is what we aimed to be
And yet mediocre with arrogance at bay
With tonnes of sleep and laziness in the sheets

We will make a story
Which would be beautiful
But more important than that it would be a story worth listening to a million times
Ohhh that , life

Those days

The beauty of fiends is that they have grown with me.
What we are today lies what we were when back then we were together,
How we grew and how we became is because also of how we came, of age then
No sign of shame, no remorse, no robes no roses
Even now I can go back to my 1 AM friends and be stark naked for what I feel
My deepest fears, my weirdest desires, my happiness,my threadbare anguishes
all, still feel at ease when I talk to you guys
With you there is no right no wrong cause there is no judgement at all
If I am wrong maybe you would listen but still understand
but you know what, we know that its right cause that has been our right
I have been feeling alone and then full
Cycles moderate, days pass
I would still scavenge for those memories, sift through our old photos,
laugh in the night alone, looking at weird photos of weirder people
Memories keep running to me, of events known, played a thousand times in my head
Sometimes I do feel alone
Sometimes I really do
But then thats the beauty of it
That every time, does tighten the bond
I smile once more and relive these things, all over again
all over again

~Harsha

my curse

How does it feel to be pulverized by rocks,

Being hypnotized in the docks,

For all that you put me through, for the sun to hit you when you grew,

Cranky I am cause it is what it is,

Crucify me or gut me like a fire which is,
Not a friend a foe but a dead eyed doe

I splutter in the carriage with cages tied to my baggage
I can't fly can't run, I rummage from what I earn

I know cause this is how I grew
This venom which I brew

Slippery slates for sluggish woes
Dreary days with gruffish glow

Have it on me cause my head is red
Blame it on me cause my blood is dead

You know what,I know how it feels,
I know how it feels

-harsha

The twain shall meet

Photo Cortsey: Fight_Club_by_evil_penguins

So after many days 

we sit across the table

yes you and me

as if we are parts of a fable

there are lines, thin, but tensed

while i am all whines 

about feelings which no one sensed

So I start the talk

with a fetch of a small walk

"Where have you been these days

A bug and a furrow and happiness like sorrow"

He winks waves wanders mellows

Cause he looks sullen with the sun yellow

He says, then thinks, perches his lips and again winks

The words just linger but not long enough to chide the finger

He thinks and thinks

while I contemplate

was it a yin or a yang

or just plain words that killed him off his slumber

I never saw him agitated so much

like a nurse with the tip of a death stench

He was not someone who would wait

and wait to answer what he never knew

but then today he waited

at my jibe he waited

we both knew that the cacophony had to emanate soon

the clothes he wore were to be shed soon

a million coffers down and a zillion oaths sworn

I asked him again not of his absence

but of his ominous presence 

of his stock hair and stoic pretence

Finally he graced me with words

fit enough to be a kings hearse

He said that he never knew angst nor disdain

he felt that now maybe his feelings too weren't his own

Stuck between a mirage of gloom

and a sea of bloom

He never knew if it was guilt bequeathed 

or sun kissed weed

Days of commonality were just a denomination

absence of happiness was just a mere absolution

we agreed that dejection was me

not feeling adequate was me 

fun frolic faith was but me

appearances drooled while the world in which i lived ruled

It has been long when the you and me have little differences

It was like a homecoming cause the we was me

the twain were me 

soon we met and we met for good

cause the disdain was but me

~Harsha