I want to kill my daughter

Don’t call it a deceit
No please no
Don’t call it a deceit
Call it my helplessness
Call it my fear
Call it my cowardice
But dear
Don’t call it a deceit

I too have shed tears
I too have undergone fears
I know darling what happens when pain sears
I know darling when hope tears

I too am the way like you WOULD be
I too am the way like you COULD be

Born to a household of six girls already
With one baby brother known as the king ready

Cursed I was,hit I was
even when
I neither knew the pain nor disdain
Bruised I was,pained I was
even then
I had to live with the scars within

Two square meals with burned bread and watery gravy
Seemed to me as my so called magnamimous luxury
Yes,to indulge in a play,Was a month of spanking
To indulge in brother’s toys,Was the whole family’s cursing
I too learned my way to live life happy
to keep my mouth shut and eat what was crappy
Brothers touched me,uncles molested me
Grandma hated me,aunts despised me
To indulge in me was everyone's desire
But what happened to me was not at all dire

Darling I was married for loads of heavy dowry
Darling I was married for your father's whole family
FATHER
I dont know whom to call your father
Is it my husband or his so called father

And now I am told you are about to come
And now I am told my fairy will breath in scum

But my princess there is an oath I have
Oath to love and oath to live
Oath to save my fairy from the same

I thought so hard to run from here
I tried so hard to take you there
Where you would be a princess
and eat whole food
Where you would be a princess
and play good games
But darling I was caught and beat to death
But darling even then I fought with all my strength

But dear I am sorry
I couldn't keep my oath
But oath I would keep
To save you from their keep
Princess you have to go
But dont be afraid
I will save you from a life.....for a better life
I will take your life.....to give you a better life

You know am crying
You know I am sorry
But yes I am happy
Don’t call it a deceit
No please no
Don’t call it a deceit

This weeks 3ww being-Deceit,Indulge,Oath

And also in response to a wonderful photo on

every photo tells a story

~HARSHA

FEED ME

A wonderful painting by
James Parker
pulled me to write this on
Every Photo tells a story




You would want to
Feed me when I am hungry
You would want to
Feed me when i CRY
You would want to
Feed me when I am sad and wry

But feed me only when
When I do not have the power to fly
feed me only when
When I am not worthy enough to try
feed me only when
When my wings are shrivelled and pain is my only ally

Coz if you feed me taking pity
if you feed me showing sympathy
if you feed me coz you love me like a deity

Then you are NOT feeding me but POISONING me

Coz quenching my hunger now
would fuel my glutton later
Coz stopping my crying now
would trigger my nagging later
Coz abating my sadness now
would quill my irritation later

Let me try
and let me fly
Let me stand
and let me run

And If I fail
I know you are there
And if I fall
I know you are there

Feed me then
and show me care
Feed me then
Coz I know den you are there
Coz I know den you are there

HARSHA

In the mind of a dyslexic

Inspired by the movie:Taarein Zameen Par,which showed us through the mind of a dyslexia afeected child,his pain.......


And hence,
In the mind of a dyslexic



Hey why you laugh and why you jeer
coz I too try and dats i swear

Hey is it 'this' or is it 'shit'
how do I differentiate between a 9(nine) or a 6(six)

The words ummm
they seem like drops of dew
numbers hmmmmm
they make me visit the blues

Is it really so hard,is all I wonder
When Tom stands 1st
and Ramu steals the thunder

Mam dont use the cane
OUCH it hurts and pains my vein
Mam dont throw me out
PLEEEASE coz I am short of a shout

Mom I try so hard
Dad I am not a retard
I study all day but cant put it right
I have stooped to play guessing its the only way

Mom I have some problem
Please see to it
Dad I am not a problem
please try to know it

Hey why you laugh and why you jeer
coz I too try and dats i swear


HARSHA

Penance

Do I want to shout
or do I want to cry
I want to fly or
Is that I want to die

Things got through,people were few
Life was lived and days got passed
Anger came where happiness prevailed
Love was shot straight in the head

Friends mistook me
Family misunderstood me
Strangers despised me
Relatives hated me

Surrenderd joviality
Rendered anonymity
Harboured negativity
Understood mortality

Was lone distraught
Eyes closed and ears deaf
Dumb I was or silent was my speech
Kissed placidity and cried so hard
We all fought gushing blood

And then I felt washed
Washed by my tears
Washed by my sins
Wsahed by my fears
Conscience called me and shook my head
Kicked my butt and gave a wide stare

And then I thought,man it was just me
Hey it was just me
Yes lost I was
"No doubt"
Yes wrong I was
"No doubt"
Yes A fool I was
"No doubt"
But hey,It was me,after all me


So,I came to terms
with world at the ends
And my wit as my only pretext
Saw the truth
which was always there
Love was there which I never cared
Yes I was shunned
Yes I was hated
But all for my own good
All for my own good

Now I know who I am
Yes I will rise
Like the phoenix from the ashes
Like the butterfly from the mothball
Like the man from the asylum
Like the criminal from the lockup

Yes,I will break my beak
and pluck my feathers
like the eagle to gain victory
I will clean my sins
and repent for my crimes
like the man who won't be History

Cause there is only one
who can make things right
There is only one who can
put efforts bright
And hey I have to rise
Cause this my world
and this my life

Hey I have to rise
and rise I will............


HARSHA