If the sun told you tomorrow
That I breathed my last yesterday
What would you do
If you knew that I was the one always what would you do
If you knew that crumpled hearts and faded eyes were never a feeling of gloom but love then what would you do
What would you do if you knew that the reasons you were so fighting were wrong always
What would you do if deep down you knew that your fight was for namesake
What would you do to know that sometimes it doesn't hurt to accept to agree and not dissuade
What would you do when you knew that the person was actually right when he said he was right
What would you do when the doing becomes so late that then the doing never matters
What would you do with a moon when the night itself stands extinguished
What would you do when loneliness smiles cause that's what we made it to be
What would you do if water could not move the routes it naturally could have flowed what would you do if winds now were forced to turn
What would you do if the doing too does not count anymore
What would you do if someone wants death
What would you do if damage was a reason to live
When sun scathed and eyes swayed
What would you do if you knew that yesterday I breathed my last
Chaos is what goes in my head. Its all about my creative side(my apologies if you dont feel any;) Well,basically my poems and my stories which get rejevunated by my daily accidents with life... Hope,you would like it... Harsha
Sunday, December 28, 2014
My last
I
I a memory
Soon
I a day less lived
I the moon
I the sun
I the scream
I the relief
I the fight
I the solace
I the feel the heal
I the hope the haunt
I the love the loss
I the eternal the effervescent
I
I the dominant
I the submissive
I the start the end
I the missive the reason
I am what you want me to be
I live with you and die for u
I
I know not
I know not what I want
I know not what I need
I know yet that I m amiss
With wit and humor doing charades
With pumpkin people killing parades
I know not what I miss
The fun and the glee
Seem so much as my pree
The sadness and glum
Look as if we were never chums
But when I know me and know me enough
I see that something is amiss
My smiles are miseried with sadness hidden in cavities
My sadness is amiss with sharing between friends
Sachai
Gat parigat Hai sheersh tera
Nam Hai ye tujhko mastak mera
Dhruti abhi samati nahi
Itni si bat satati nahi
Hai shaqal Teri ya akal meri
Sab saath gaanth ki kahani yahi
Hinsa kar Tu ya reh shant prachand
Kar karm kar ya sun Rona apna
Par jeet ta Hai wahi jiska vash me ho uska man apna
Aye bahut dhurundar sakal
Par reh gae bina sakth akal
Agar Hai Tu bhogi aur Tu vinashak
Par man me Hai kapat aur chal atyant
Na khalega tab na tikega tab
Kyunki ant dekhta Hai wahi
Jisme ho vivek aur shant srijan
Chahe agar Tu ant saral to vipda bhi reh k na aegi
Jeet ki vela tham jaegi
Kyunki din har na harta Hai
Chah k bhi hare na darta Hai
Ahankar beech me apna sir gadata Hai
Chota sa pyada bhi vazir ban jata Hai
Shrishti na aise hi soti Hai
Virat vikral ban k roti Hai
Jo Tu dar gaya to Tu dhungega bhagwan
Aur jo na Dara to banega sachha insan
Soch Hai tere hi hatho me
Chah Hai Teri hi bato me
Har din na jeet hoti Hai
Par jis din har hoti Hai
Sachai aur aukat usi din
Samajh me ati hai
Ohhh that life
Ohhh that life
With smashing pumpkins and sloshing bottles
Ohhh that life
With you in my arms
And hugs so complete
With ur trinkets making noises
And ur laughter filling voices
Ohhh that life when I would know that knowledge is what completes us
Humor is what drives us
Crying would keep us real
And sex would keep us emotional
Ohhh that life when your lips would not be kissed but devoured
When your eyes would be mine
And dreams would be shared
Ohhh that life when life would be free
Not fraught by stupidity
Not bound by nayness
When we would dance whenever we would feel like
When you would offer me sangria to celebrate my cooking
When we would right books which we would believe in
Ohhh that life when the sun would set with stories told.by you
When I would look next to me and see a woman who had a dream and she did her best to achieve her dream
A woman who never gave up
A girl who was the lady for what she did her life
A lady who will be my fair lady always
When I will tell my kids about her
They would be as proud as I would be
Ohhh that life where Elysium would mate with reality
That life where we would be what we want to be
Best is what we aimed to be
And yet mediocre with arrogance at bay
With tonnes of sleep and laziness in the sheets
We will make a story
Which would be beautiful
But more important than that it would be a story worth listening to a million times
Ohhh that , life
Friday, June 20, 2014
Those days
What we are today lies what we were when back then we were together,
How we grew and how we became is because also of how we came, of age then
No sign of shame, no remorse, no robes no roses
Even now I can go back to my 1 AM friends and be stark naked for what I feel
My deepest fears, my weirdest desires, my happiness,my threadbare anguishes
all, still feel at ease when I talk to you guys
With you there is no right no wrong cause there is no judgement at all
If I am wrong maybe you would listen but still understand
but you know what, we know that its right cause that has been our right
I have been feeling alone and then full
Cycles moderate, days pass
I would still scavenge for those memories, sift through our old photos,
laugh in the night alone, looking at weird photos of weirder people
Memories keep running to me, of events known, played a thousand times in my head
Sometimes I do feel alone
Sometimes I really do
But then thats the beauty of it
That every time, does tighten the bond
I smile once more and relive these things, all over again
all over again
~Harsha
Sunday, April 6, 2014
my curse
Being hypnotized in the docks,
For all that you put me through, for the sun to hit you when you grew,
Cranky I am cause it is what it is,
Crucify me or gut me like a fire which is,
Not a friend a foe but a dead eyed doe
I splutter in the carriage with cages tied to my baggage
I can't fly can't run, I rummage from what I earn
I know cause this is how I grew
This venom which I brew
Slippery slates for sluggish woes
Dreary days with gruffish glow
Have it on me cause my head is red
Blame it on me cause my blood is dead
You know what,I know how it feels,
I know how it feels
-harsha
Wednesday, February 5, 2014
The twain shall meet
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| Photo Cortsey: Fight_Club_by_evil_penguins |
Thursday, October 17, 2013
A view from the clouds
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| just_an_ordinary_flight_with_an_extraordinary_view_by_bayaboy |
Friday, September 20, 2013
I may, maybe
And I found solace,knew how respite felt like but that was when I was struck in the midst of a crowd;
Am I moving too fast or has the sloth muffled me
Am I smiling cause I know not to cry
Should I appreciate it now that I can seek what I want
Or should I stay and be sad cause it at the first place taught me, to respect
Should I run as walking leaves that sore
or should I loose cause winning makes me immune
When its so sad why do u add up
When things are bad why do we not pack up
let me pack you up
run myself over my lips
right my woes and put it in my books
and then
and then burn my half of the books
Cause you are just a phase
A guy who has just been in a rage
Rage will swell and then pride will fall
I wish the guy to stand tall
And if you stand even then
maybe then sometime we can still maybe then
we can sit and call names which
would be happy to hear and bring us some cheer
cause that is what would make us more of the man
and you less of the moron
Or should I even think about it,
should I
may I
I may, maybe
or maybe not
Tuesday, July 16, 2013
kash bat alag hoti
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| sad_by_Curunir1 |
Wednesday, July 10, 2013
clarity
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commotionby *soft-h |
FIND evidences for what you believe
DRIVE with passion
EARN to settle plight
CREATE yourself
And feel that no motherfucker can taint you, maim you
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My head wobbled back with the swerving ideas.
It hadn't been such impatient before, with those succulent thoughts.
But nowadays I am losing it more often than not.
I hide between myself.
Damning philosophies and berserk debates rattle in my ears,
Things half said, thoughts half rotten malign me.
Is it the work that has taken its toll on me,
or have I obviated life of life itself
Things are now tasks, difficulties are now processes
Randomness is maiming itself, creating airs for those jiffy clean processes
And no I don't like this
A clear sky laughs behind a clear mind
A road of clarity triggers me of my haplessness
The clutter was me, the stench the turmoil was me
The land at the road's end with all that commotion was me
Somebody has tried to kill me, by saving me from this death
This I never wanted
With a life better placed
But with a place better wasted
Sadness now doesn't pain me
Its the emptiness which kills me
I am afraid to head home early after a tiring day
Not because of drudgeries of officiating administration
But because of the fear of nothing to do
I am tired not from work but from the dearth of it
I am a hollow mind now, my body had long lost its charm
But this mind was not supposed to act in this penance
I tried counting the new people whom I met earlier
I tried searching for friends for fresh air
But the numbers on fingers made my fingers look too big
Every night I return back as the lone rider
And just as and when I am about to stop fear cringes
And throttle twinges to let the ride go some more
To a road not taken, to a streetlight yet virgin
Delinquency to move one more block
Fear is sidelining everything,
And that too so much that the courage to drive on is,
basically, fear pushing me to drive on
~Harsha
Monday, July 1, 2013
Choose your God
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| Image Courtsey : perfectionist_ all together |
All 3 above fit the bill.
That I dont believe in these gods but yes I believe in super powers.
So it means your intelligence has made you believe that all this Ram, Shiv, Allah, Jesus is a myth after all.
But still your hogwash makes you bang your head over that supergod.
So please read more, explore more question more. Even I am doing the same.
Why bound yourself to what your Hindu/ Muslim/ blah blah parents made you think.
See at the first place you never were a Hindu.
You were comfortably tagged this. Go choose your religion, choose your fucking god.
Saturday, May 25, 2013
the killing impatience
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by ~AlesyaSokol |
Thursday, May 16, 2013
being good
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| eternal_struggle_by_ellaine-d2cs82k |
Wednesday, March 27, 2013
Death by choice
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| Image courtsey: the_wishing_pool_by_moni158 |
Yes Sahib, be patient soon we will have a view of the lions, said the mahaut (the elephant rider).
Sahib I was atleast in these woods and it felt good to be called so.
It was sheer cooperation that would have been the key.
As the sun became brittle and the westerlies were still moving we never thought that the jungles would still remain at their enticing best.
A few minutes ago the wind was playing havoc and I never knew that you would be even ready to move out for a round of fun exploring these lions.
You had been crappily irritating, but then that was then.
You nagged and made me realise that hell is very near and it all depends just on the partner you choose.
But yes that was all before.Days have changed is what they say.
I tried my best to not think of those days.
I can hear the birds flying suddenly, the packs circling as if they have the lead of something close.
The simple sounds of monkeys swaying from the gulmohurs is good enough to catch the excitement of any one.And for a group like ours which has been just to savour the pleasure of a lion feasting in front of us, this doesn't seem a wrong moment.
When Anita first told me of this safari I wasn't much excited.
Even the whole idea of trekking in the open on an elephant with just the mahaut and no other safety dint excite me.
She said that this would be our retribution, of going away from the past which was lonesome and scary.
When we had distrust and disregard for days at a a stretch.Maybe this was the reason for which we never had children.
But I never was the one who cheated. It was you and you alone who was with Romy, the so called Ramesh all these days.
On days when I used to cry for her she used to cry with pleasure while lying in the arms of him writhing like a snake.
The shame was too much and maybe the end was too small.
I gave her too much and yet wanted too little.
But after these years she seems to have repented of her sins.And when she asked me to come here I couldn't say no.
And once when I saw these jungles I couldn't say no.Spellbounded by the majestic thicket that they had.Light had diffculty coming down from the dense cacophony of trees.
Land lay moist of the marks of predators we shuddered even to think.And always the tranquil sound of the river flowing nearby.
I immediately fell in love with the place and all over again with Anita.
This was supposed to be my best vacation ever.
I don't know if this excuse was as lame as the others cause yesterday night I saw something which I shouldn't.Somehow her mobile lay near me and the urge was uncontrollable.Even the time when we were together she was virtually with Romy.Even the things I told her were going at the speed of light to him.They were having fun on behest of me.
This was more than enough with me exactly knowing what to do, now.
I had bribed the mahaut enough knowing that there are not many needs of poor men.
Now all that was needed was the arrival of lion.One small push and the rest would be history.Nobody would ever know how and what happened.The only thing known would be a vacation gone terse.
And lo behold what I see is not one lion but a pack of lions raging a war with hunger.
There have been cases of man eating animals and this was evident by the way they were charging towards us.
Just any second from now the lions would have their fill and I would have my revenge.
A small thud it would be and Anita would be what she is, nothing but a dead remorseless body.
Soon,the thud was heard and death was seen.There was a lot of tearing of flesh and gnawing of bones.The beasts showed why they were called the beasts in the first place.
Even before help could come the body was torn beyond recognition.
When the resuce team came nobody could tell what happened cause the plan was buried with the dead man, the man who was the progenitor of death was devoured by death itself.
Anita knew that even a poor man had needs and she had made sure that even his seven generations would live happily.The mahaut dint take time to change sides and to push the sahib off the elephants back.
Cause Anita had given him a lot more than money, she had given him a piece of herself as well on that day,now both were party to the crime.
Written for 3WW for the words: Cooperation, lame and terse
~Harsha
Sunday, March 17, 2013
Sparks
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| Image credits: Spark Saw by *Burning2Sleep |
I was wondering why sometimes words fail me while sometimes unknowingly failure begets poetry.
I was breaking my head bad and mad all over me but whatever I wrote had to be deleted.
Nothing seemed to make any sense to me.It was just void, dull insignificant psychotic void, present but still insignificant.
Something that we all have become.From one angle we all feel as if we have reached heights but then we all know the hollowness that we still live in.
It was this very moment where sense prevailed over absolution.
Something which came out pouring of my school prayers:
"Where knowledge is free and World has not been broken up.....into dreary desert sands".
I think freedom to think would embroil everything when we would be free to understand freedom.It is a misnomer of sorts, of discussions of debates.
I hate debates nowadays. I debate but I know that my debate is only as strong as the source from which I read my facts from.
And a lot depends on the facts fed into these papers.Cause what are facts but a winners carnage.
Anyways I somehow still am never satisfied by what I ever write.
But sometimes at least it is passable and sometimes people try to pass it and I know it stinks during those times.
But then still atleast still I am able to uncloth the reason of why, why sometimes we can write while sometimes words feel molested, mishandled.
And everything then fits into where t should fit.
It is that spark, that moment which makes the whole sense.
I would be happy if we all could bolster courage to copulate more with these sparks of ours.
~Harsha
Saturday, March 16, 2013
Kasauli
Thursday, February 28, 2013
sidekick's lifetime
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| Image courtsey:'The rocket bile' by Zafs91 |
I cant fathom whether it is the joy of working, or waiting for constant reshuffles.
Whether it was the incorrigible studying where layer by layer I was peeled.
Starting from the start where every class was worshiped and every exam dreaded. I hated going to school at 8:00 in the morning, entering late just to be kept waiting in the ground for the prayer to be over and then the public shame of running in the field.
Slowly the dread turned into distrust and then into arrogance.
I never knew when I left studies.The thirst got doused albeit instantly.
It was just a simple rising when I wanted to study no more.The classes progressed as usual, my age multiplied with the same clanks but the only difference was that I dint study any more.
Looking back I think that I was intelligent atleast to sail through cause I actually sailed through.
I saw friends being completely written off while some of them standing at pedestals which were considered so big that we saw them as cheap.
But somehow I survived.
Life moved on but the ailing sidekick still grew stronger.
Love, it was even a bigger vice.
It shone its head whenever it got chance and I with open arms kept on getting bitten by it only for the sheer pleasure of the process.The process which itself was so finicky and so unplanned that the subtle chaos kept me on toes.I even loved the prospect of crying as it kept me grounded in a dream world.
My heart changed hands many summers.
For most of the parts I kept on pushing it from table to toes.
People rarely seemed interested in what they were holding, sometimes they even forgot that this small thing was supposed to be pumping blood in someone's veins although naughty in its forbearance but still the progenitor of life.
But then I was happy just with the fact that it was moving and hence could pump more of the elixir.
Maybe this wasn't the end.Job changed hands. Sometimes for good and sometimes for bad.I kept on converting the sad times to happiness.The conversion was so varied that one presence almost paled the other. Scams and sagas were written all over.Job security became a misnomer and uncanny abilities a reality.But with this came new people new friends and new love.
Adored stranded and uncalled I took everything.
This again delved deeper into phase 2 of my studies.
But then this was something that I loved and for this I had my sword all cleaned and brandished.
I had sharpened and filled my quiver long enough to last till the end of Duryodhana's deatha and Arjuna's penance.
This was the time when melancholy too started feeling happy.
Time seems to have moved a 360 degree turn again.
All has always been so fast that rarely I ever thought about them.
Maybe because of this I never cared and before the impact could happen I moved on to a newer realm.
But now when I sit stay and think I realize that this unceremonious exit, this winding end that distant dream were everything which cut the pain, tranquilize the soul.
Makes me realize now that this sickening sidekick has been a companion however much I hate it.
Only this effervescence would be permanent.
So once again I don my cape and tie my robe to go disorient some one with my fidgeting sickening sidekick.
---------------------------------
Written for 3WW : This week's 3WW are Douse, Naughty, Pale
Sunday, January 13, 2013
The hero
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| Courtsey: The Warrior ~by Nuhuup |
I seriously thought that the race was over.trophies spluttered the drawing rooms of those odious clans.
All this happened when I kept on walking in the empty rows collecting scrumps of food left by viewers who had been watching the race.
This day was not any different.after my mental scribbling I folded my baricades to sanitise myself again to victory.
This was then that somehow I felt anguished on the death of heroes.and it was not heroes alone who were dead,but also dead were the romantics,the go getters and the idealists.
The gentleman I once knew who offered his seat to ladies,his smile to kids and support to the needy now acted as if grotesqued by his own appearence.
He seemed dead now.
But then why had I killed him,maimed him beyond recognition.
His sautered wounds still throbbing kept glancing those awkard silences at me.
And then I realised that this day had to be different and not only different but awesome.
Why should I think myself as a second fiddle to myself.the bromide has caught me too soon and too much.
But now it had to die and not me.
Enough is a word which when used threatningly can make one reach unimaginable proportions.
Now I had everything although with crippled limitations but even then everything.then why now I don't romance the way as the protagonist of those movies.why I don't find myself as the leader moving further in his office but as a man who would wait for instructions to be thrown at.
The time has come for me to die and for the hero to rise again,from my ashes,yes if he demands so but then he has to rise, alone.
~Harsha












