I striketh back

Has this been a dream come true or a trance lurking over the ghouls.

I must would and should agree with the former.

Cause I know how much I had yearned for this,this being my MBA,my college,my hostel,my room.

I had been feeling low since long imagining colleges,just trying to be there but never ever being able to.

I sometimes ask myself - How big is a dream?

It is just that big to the point till which you chase it.

And believe me the more you chase it the bigger it becomes and the bigger it becomes the better it feels in the end.

Atleast I have felt so.

Right now I am walking the hallowed corridors of great lakes for real.I am sitting upright in my room’s wonderful chair.

The infrastructure is awesome,as good as I have never seen it in any other educational institutions so far.

But believe me even if the infrastructure had been shit I still would have been happier the same.

Cause I know that in the end I haven’t disappointed myself,Cause I took what’s mine.

I know how it feels when it takes you 5 consecutive years chasing the same stupid dream,

stupid cause only stupid things have the will and perseveration to doggedly chase.

Cause once sanity prevails,pragmatism kicks in we tend to act like adults.

And an adult wont try and cant try.

Adults tend to believe in things being obvious.

There is no red riding hood mating with a big bad wolf in an adults story.

It is just that being kids lets us see the hidden werewolves.

I know the ride wont be easy,things at stake are not small,dreams once seen have not drifted away.

I also know that its actually not about an MBA but about me.And it would always be about me.

As of now today is my virgin day in great lakes,I have not went out.

Today I have just spent the day with myself in the college,feeling it.

Sat in the amphitheater ,roamed around all the wings,met some in between but yes for once the victory would be savoured.

If I see back, in years today is the day when I am actually gluttonusly filling my craving of solitude.

And as the great philosopher MacD says-“I am loving it.”

I couldn't agree more:)

~Harsha

Spartan,G3N

Me,myself

Put the glasses aside.
When I would die I want to die plain,properly aware of the weaknesses I have,physical and mental.
My soul is shameless and I want my body to be the same.

Still I dont feel something right.
Are you sure we should carry this on.It doesn't look dainty enough.

Were you sure to carry your stupidest feelings with you.Were you sure to care for your dream when everything was against you.
And year on year you were ready to face that haunting shame again knowing that you might lose again.

Might is a big word.

But the end never set you free.You had failed and would fail again.I would halp you be free again.I would make sure that nobody can jeer you,make fun of you.
Cause you won't br there then.

Umm.Sounds somewhat OK.But tell me do you really think that once I am dead people would really be concerned to be happy or sad or laugh at me,for me,on me.

Thats what O fallen insane,Nobody would laugh at you.They would just be left with a tantalizing sense of you but NO YOU.

And yes nobody would even think of me.And leave others what would I accomplish if I myself am not present.What would I do with a soul with respect.I prefer a body even if there is all disguist.
Meandering hopes,absymal falls but still there would be moment.

Well............

Yes.Even though you try to coax me,persuade me,count the innumerable years for me every year,I know one thing,atleast there is a direction every year,to do things,to understand fears,to put at rest many tears,atleast I know I have a life.So you,yes you,you better get lost.

Hey,Wait for me.Am also coming....

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This week's 3WW words are dainty, haunting and tantalize

~Harsha

riveting hopes

How much more affinity can I have
with  a truth that even I find hard to stare
I keep on fidgeting as my hopes fly riveting
with every news I find  a mention
Once a rumor now a lost hope
But now some more pain can only subside this tension...
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As affinity bowls me happiness makes me lie
after all this is the reason that I would try
Fidgeting body jittery mind
deep down I know I can still be kind
Father to a radical mind son to a scrambled heart
Onlooker to a fallacy
or the supreme holder of a rotten legacy
All I can mention is that
she should have been a not been
Cause that only would have been
My meanest of means...
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And as I yearn for an affinity that has created  pain
a stench,a killer feels years after his moments of mention
Rebellious disgust,drastic measures messed up
For happiness which went only dressed up

I was the only one at the funeral
A funeral  happy for this death
Cause it was just me and the funeral
Me dead and the funeral happy
 for me being dead
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just wanted to see how these 3 words address my thoughts in different directions.
Want to know how others go after their thoughts while writing poems.
The words at 3WW this week are affinity,fidget and mention

~Harsha 

tiranga

Anybody with 3 colors and a circle

can't be me

Anybody who just wants to hoist me 

can't be me

I am not the money in a CWG scam

neither am I the rising onion price

I am not the one who wants to be unfurled in a reactive state

nor am I the spirit of the various terrorist attacks

I am not the building scam for politicians

Neither am I the Bofor's deal still fought in courts

How dare you to call me the bone of a 2G scam

How dare you to associate me with a state division's 

I don't belong to Mumbai attacks

I never was a part of the Godhra riots

What am I 

a conniptipon or a soul gone astray

Please,Don't take my name for a blame

that I never did

My colors don't justify religion

My spokes don't symbolise corruption

I don't have the glutton for boundaries

This year I am 61 

I am born again and dead at the same time

No,I am not dead but you try to maime me

kill me

every year

Not by snubbing me

but by hoisting me

year over year

shamelessly,seamlessly

By making me symbolise a country

which shows no sign of reform,remorse

But whose integrity itself has gone janky

I know that this day has come again

A day for me

Let me live from this year

With dignity,with respect

Promise me just once

Atleast for this year

Promise me

That when you unfurl me

You would take steps 

to scooch 

over the sad past

to eradicate,to end 

what has been there always

Just for once

No matter how small it is

but you would try

And then I would say

that any 3 colors and a circle

show me

Show that 

I am the tricolor

This week's words at 3WW being:

conniption; noun: a bad tantrum. One has a conniption or conniption fit.
janky; adjective: broken or functioning poorly or improperly; messed up.
scooch; verb: to move over, or to scoot.

I thought to write a story first but then today is India's Republic Day so thought to jot what India as an individual would be feeling as the voice of youth as me.

Image Courtsey:One of my friends-Prashant Mishra had painted our Indian flag's sorry state once.Hope we improve it.

~Harsha

the kill

beneath 
the surreality
the banter
the hogged lights 
the omnipresence


beneath
the twitched elbows
the gnawed nails
the blood puddles


beneath them all
was the success 
that could have come 
happily holistically
but now neither did any one notice
nor did any one care to acknowledge
the fact


that his move was not deliberate
neither amateur
the kill amassed once was still known
but his descent had started
not now
but back's back
like a track's crack
small at the start 
but deep as it greys


he still kills his kill
everyday
just in the hope 
that people would appreciate
just in the hope 
that applause will be his


what he has failed to appreciate
till now
is that he just needs to satiate himself
and not even one morose critic
not another country man
neither any of his family


then only his kill would be his.


The words at 3WW being descent, kill, surreal


~Harsha

whew,it was close

The words at 3WW are: harmless, moist, yelp

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Neither do I understand nor can I make people understand.

But I feel the urge to write when I am in the midst of my most important things as now.
But I am forced to remember that particular shot that had happened so clearly which could have very well changed my life forever.

Happily it din't.

It was the night of 24th of dec.There were just 15 minutes remaining for the gongs to sound and people to call hallelujah.
I had a hell of office work that day.I was choked to my head from the religious crap that I had been following since long.I could hear the sudden yelps my heart was muffling.
And after that long day I knew there were very few people meeting whom would give me the much needed respite.
And there I was all set to meet her.She had been to a party and had asked me not to come to pick her up as the night was more cold than the regular ones.

But,I insisted.

With gloves and 2 jackets on I was all set to capture the night.
With bike's engine revving up under me I set out.Me and this grim 2 wheeler always have been conqueror of sorts.
And this bike would turn even if I just said her to turn.
That was the camraderie that we shared.
That night too I came out with all hopes set high to break my mental barriers but something else awaited to be broken.

I was just 5 minutes out of the parking,on the main road when I came face to face with a big circular turn.
As always I coolly glided on that turn with the ace of the professional that I have always showed.
There was a bus going in front of me.i was planning to overtake it since long.Suddenly,the bus took a left.
The road being an extra large one and seeing the bus move towards its stop I pulled up the accelerator to a few more millimeters.

The bus moving to the left and I overtaking it from the right.Everything was perfect,perfectly harmless.In a matter of a few macro seconds I would have crossed the bus when suddenly the driver changed his mind.
In an instant the bus driver flicked his bus towards the right bringing it squarely in front of me.
I believe he did it cause there were no passengers to get down.

But that was when precisely everything pulled into slow motion for me.
first I saw the bus in front of me.
Then I looked at the other lane but there was a truck coming from the other side.Then with all my might I pressed the rear break and I knew that the collision was inevitable.
I was not able to believe that I of all the people would meet with an accident,me who never flouted rules.
With little options left I finally pressed my front brake.it was a disk brake.Within fraction of seconds the engine came to a halt but being on a turn the whole vehicle skidded and with it moved my body.
I could clearly feel my right leg touching the tarmac and then the bike.Within a moment I fell off from the vehicle.
I was seeing sparks flying from the bike and the bike kept moving from the bus.
If there was anything that was going through my head at that moment was the thought that this was not my bike and it was of foremost importance to me.

I don't know why but I looked at my left and I could smell the big bus tyres moving just on my side.
Slowly I stood up.I could feel all my limbs intact.With my pant half torn and superficial wounds which were blood smeared I slowly started hearing peoples voices.

They came to me running and said that it seemed that I would be dead by now.
Finally i was diagnosed with right leg limb rupture and some blood clots.
Things could have been worse,events could have been distorted.
Life doesn't come with alarm bells always.
But the few chances that we get can always be worked for a constructive future.
Sounds stupidly philosophical,boringly idiotic but still we should enjoy the moments that we have.
Or someday with moist eyes we would be looking at limbs which were once hands,a body which was once life..
I have met people who weren't as lucky as me.
But then life moves on.
Now while resting in this plaster cast I actually think that although my life doest seem to be changed but yes still it has.

~Harsha

you there

dabble, lean, utter


Deep within this shit,I thought that there would be hope.
I thought that tomorrow when the sun would set I would rise
Rise again with the rising sun
I would dabble with affairs that I had lost 
Lost in deep affirmative sorrows
My body agreed to lean on the shoulders of my hope
And hope agreed not to utter what was known
All my life I turned out to be a man 
who with time agreed not to be a man
A man when it was needed the most
A soul which pleaded most
Like a ghoul over the window
like a spectre over the sheet
like that aching beat
that guttural sounds,that muffled shrieks
That I had tried to suffocate,to annex
all but in vain
was but a stain
of a past that I could neither remember nor forget
A wish that I could neither desire
nor destroy
cause all that had been left in me was a man 
but yet not a man